ok, so I have an interview at this joint in chicago in a couple weeks. maybe it's just me, but this whole process is really non-traditional. First, for the online application, I had to compare the company to a celebrity and explain why. Second, I just got an email confirming the interview, and they asked me to email them an original document of an example of creative writing and what it was written for. I've been out of college for fours years and even if I had creative papers written, I certainly wouldn't have kept them up until now. This job isn't even a creative writing position! Has anyone had to do this? I guess I'm going to have to just come up w/ something out of my ass.

Fuck a job that makes you work during the interview process.

Everytime I see the bullshit that my roommate has to provide for all these govt. positions I tell him to try a new line of work. He has to provide shit from his job at Wendy's when he was 16, plus all of his pre-college schooling, fer chrissakes.

that's not what I was saying at all. I don't mind working to get a job. My interviewing experience has always been pretty simple, for the most part. I guess these days they are getting more and more creative w/ their weeding out process. I just really hope they don't want a paper from college since those are long and forgotten.

I edited my post, cause it sounded silly, and it wasn't exactly what I meant.

I think some things they ask for are just a bit ridiculous, and I don't like when people yank my chain just because they feel they can. Fuck you, I'll take my talents elsewhere.

Then again, I'm working on being self-employed, cause I hate the whole process, so I may not be Dr. Phil on this one. I will sell you a book though.

In past interviews I have had to:
-Take an intelligence (IQ) test
-Write a creative "spiel" about how to create effective catalog copy
-Pee in a cup
-Do actual work that was used by the interviewing company
-Do spec work that was NOT used by the interviewing company

I have found that, in general, the more hoops you have to jump through to get a job, the less the job is worth it. But sometimes... you just never know. So I always just go ahead and suck every dick they put into my mouth.

yeah, I understand why they are doing this. I'm trying to switch industries, and if I do this, I'm pretty much forced to take a near entry-level position. So, obviously, this job is intended for upcoming college grads who have plenty of papers at their disposal. ah well, I guess I have no choice but to whip something up.

Yeah, that's more what I was getting at. Except I hate the taste, and head is just a precursor to anal, so I just slip out while no one's looking and try elsewhere.

Hmmm...maybe this whole unemployment thing isn't too bad.

another thing that has really pissed me off is that I've recently had 3 great interviews w/ different ad/media companies. All went fantastic, and halfway thru the interview every single one of them said "well, we don't have an open position now, but we hope to really soon. " The best of my interviews came two fridays ago, and when she dropped that bomb, all I could picture is strangling the life out of her. ahhh job hunting.

are you guys saying that i should try my hand at gay porn

Or mouth.

And you'd be perfect. Gay for Pay is the way to go if I were you.

is that like Check Into Cash?

Yeah, I've dealt with this nonsense, but I found it heightened my chances of landing the job. No, silly. I'm not creative. It did, however, give me the chance to take the piss out of their unorthodox application method and myself.

Let me explain: A certain advertising firm in Austin, Tx (we'll call it GSD&M for now) offers the same online scheme. You're greeted to the Careers Section by neon script asking "Are you a creative? Yes or No". Yes, essentially leads you to their text box populated application. Answering 'no' links you to the IRS site. Still not impressed? Seriously, what warrants itself as creative anymore? Hell, I know folk who consider staples placed on the top right-hand corner of paper to be art.

The application is designed in a fill-in-the-gap format. So, first questions as follows: 1) I want to leave my present employer bc _______. 2) I can (verb) (superlative) than anyone I know. 3) My skills are _____. Open-ended for the most part, allowing free reign for answers. Naturally, I had a good time with it. In fact, what I firmly believe landed me an interview (and subsequent job offer) was a recycled Simpson's quote. Something to the effect of "if there actually ever was an an Outstanding Award in the Field of Excellence, I ..." You can't ever lose w/ a simple Simpson blurb. Somebody's ears are bound to perk in the People Dept. and get you in for an interview. Honestly, during my first interview out of University, I dropped what I thought was a somewhat obscure Derek & Clive reference (I was interviewing with a British lady), got her sides to split & chatted about P. Cooke the rest of the time. Landed a job in Tokyo for the next five years.

There's no moral to this tale, but you might want to toy with the idea of throwing some good 'ol fashioned satire in their laps. The position with GSD&M was a Media Coordinator position w/ heaps of accounting responsibilities. If I can get away with a hint of jesting with accountants, you can do it with anyone. (Apologies in advance to all you boring accountants out there!)

Have fun, think outside the polygon! Or, if you feel like re-locating to Austin, go here: www.gsdm.com

This has happened to me twice recently, so I feel for you. However, the second company called me back after two weeks & said they got the go-ahead to add another person, so I had the second interview this morning. So, try not to strangle anyone, stay in touch with them once each week, and you never know.

that's a wier d request from them, ryan, but i'd take those tasks much more happily than having to answer, what are your weaknesses? what was a situation where you were in conflict with somebody else's opinion in the workplace?

at least they sound like they want a creative thinker. you should resort to making a really funny haiku. haiku can get you out of a lot of syllabels.

no, I feel confident about these places, especially the most recent. That particular one was a much larger company than the others, so the chance of turnover or a spot opening up is much better. It was just really, really frustrating to get called into an interview, have it go so well, and then hear that there isn't really a spot. I mean, the past two not having a spot frustrated me, but coming into this interview i thought 'no way, they HAVE to have an open position right now.' but hey, all I can do is keep looking and hope that something opens up there, and keep following up w/ them.

I had to answer those questions in the phone interview yesterday.

and this creative writing has to be 2-3 pages.

I never knew you were unemployed, Ryan. What happened?

I'm not unemployed. I am just in the thick of looking for a new job.

Years and years ago when I was to proud to shamelessly live off the tax payer, I went for a job at a chicken abbatoir. The interview was easy, you basically had to justify why-on-earth you would want to work in a chicken abbatoir. I said something like "I'm really poor, desperately need money and I can't get an other job". Bingo!

After the interview you had to take a medical. Height, wieight, questionnaire, blood pressure etc. Then the last bit. An anal probe! It was to test if we had some sort of bacteria in our gut or something. Why they had to test for it I have no idea since, as far as I know, you just had to haul the chickens around and not stick them up your ass, but they said it was the law.

I declined ("sorry my ass is one-way") and subsequently didn't get the job. Thank fuck.

holy shit. i guess i should be fortunate that I only have to write a paper

Homophobe!