Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 605 posts ] 

Board index : Music Talk : Rock/Pop

Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 25  Next
Author Message
 Post subject: The Obner Divorce Curse Strikes Again
PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 12:49 am 
Offline
Hair Trigger of Doom

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 2:05 pm
Posts: 21243
Location: Subpoenaed in Texas
It took almost 18 years, but it looks like I'm about to become a single man again. In some ways, it hurts deeply and beyond comprehension, yet in other ways it is a tremendous relief and I feel excited about the future.

Me and the wife have been struggling for some time now (longer than I actually realized myself), but it wasn't until tonight that either of us were finally able to say it's over.

Hopefully, those who've gone through this in recent years won't mind me possibly reaching out at some point in the weeks/months to come. I've got a feeling I may need your perspective.

_________________
bobhasablog.com


Back to top
 Profile WWWYIM 
 
 Post subject: Re: The Obner Divorce Curse Strikes Again
PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 1:07 am 
Offline
Failed Reunion

Joined: Tue Nov 23, 2004 12:53 am
Posts: 4263
Location: any suggestions?
No perspective on this from my end, but just some words of support and thoughts for the best. Can't imagine what you're going through, but I hope you and your sons (and wife, by proxy) can get through this the best way possible.

Don't be afraid to check in here as you need. We got you, lummox.

_________________
Kwame Kilpatrick texted to his mistress: "NEXT TIME, JUST TELL ME TO SIT DOWN, SHUT UP, and DO YOUR THING! I'm fucked up now!"


Back to top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Obner Divorce Curse Strikes Again
PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 1:08 am 
Offline
Garage Band
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 27, 2004 3:51 pm
Posts: 702
Location: Barstool
Oh shit Bob...I'm really sorry to hear that. Granted, I don't pay much attention around here, but judging by your pics/stories I figured you & your wife were on solid ground.

I was really hoping your thread title was going to lead to just another bad FT joke.

This may be all kinds of wrong, but the "FT is dating" threads of 2012 are going to be pure gold.

Seriously, as someone who had his own marriage troubles during the great unemployment of '09, I really feel for you. Wishing you nothing but the best, big guy.


Last edited by Gordo on Sat Apr 10, 2010 1:14 am, edited 1 time in total.

Back to top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Obner Divorce Curse Strikes Again
PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 1:12 am 
Offline
Hair Trigger of Doom

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 2:05 pm
Posts: 21243
Location: Subpoenaed in Texas
Thanks, Chadwick. All things considered (and I'm sure MANY couples entering the separation/divorce phase say this), I really think we're both OK with it and with each other moving forward. No custody battles or lingering resentment or any of that stuff. It's time for us to be happy, which we no longer were together. I'm worried about how the kids will handle/process all this, but we are going to do whatever it takes to remain a family - even though we won't always be together (if that even makes the slightest bit of sense).

_________________
bobhasablog.com


Back to top
 Profile WWWYIM 
 
 Post subject: Re: The Obner Divorce Curse Strikes Again
PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 1:14 am 
Offline
Hair Trigger of Doom

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 2:05 pm
Posts: 21243
Location: Subpoenaed in Texas
Gordo wrote:
Oh shit Bob...I'm really sorry to hear that. Granted, I don't pay much attention around here, but judging by your pics/stories I figured you & your wife were on solid ground.

I was really hoping your thread title was going to lead to just another bad FT joke.


Thanks, Dave. It's not any kind of sordid tale of infidelity or gross malfeasance on either of our parts. More than anything, almost two decades of such factors as special needs children, parents living with/near us, and ongoing financial woes have simply taken their toll. We had to take care of so many other people and crises all this time that we've neglected each other and ourselves.

_________________
bobhasablog.com


Back to top
 Profile WWWYIM 
 
 Post subject: Re: The Obner Divorce Curse Strikes Again
PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 1:23 am 
Offline
frostingspoon

Joined: Thu Nov 04, 2004 2:36 pm
Posts: 10198
damn, really sorry to hear.
how old are the kids?

_________________
http://www.cdbaby.com/fishstick2


Back to top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Obner Divorce Curse Strikes Again
PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 1:26 am 
Offline
TEH MACHINE
User avatar

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 3:28 pm
Posts: 16681
Location: Jiggin' for Yanks
Damn, Bob. Sorry to hear about it, eh?

_________________
All I can say is, go on and bleed.


Back to top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Obner Divorce Curse Strikes Again
PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 1:44 am 
Offline
frostingspoon

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 1:07 pm
Posts: 12617
sorry man. hope you can both move forward as best as you can.

_________________
dumpjack: "I haven't liked anything he's done so far, but I'll still listen."


Back to top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Obner Divorce Curse Strikes Again
PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 2:04 am 
Offline
Still Big in Japan
User avatar

Joined: Tue Nov 23, 2004 12:50 am
Posts: 3947
Location: Boise
Sorry to hear that as well. Sometimes it truly is for the best (for both people). Head up.

_________________
"Ian Rush says that if I drink milk one day i'll be good enough to play for Accrington Stanley"

"Accrington Stanley? Who are they?"

"Exactly"


Back to top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Obner Divorce Curse Strikes Again
PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 2:26 am 
Offline
May contain Jesus.
User avatar

Joined: Tue Dec 14, 2004 11:43 pm
Posts: 12225
Location: The Already, Not Yet.
Wow, really sorry to hear about this, Bob. If you've exhausted all in trying to save the marriage, then I'm glad that you're at least "at peace" with the situation. I really found your statement about taking care of others, and not yourself pretty poignant. In our culture, we're constantly asked to break normal personal boundaries, and because of that, people aren't able to mend wounds properly. Best of luck, and like the others have said, we'll be a shoulder to lean on.

_________________
It's Baltimore, gentlemen; the gods will not save you.

Baltimore is a town where everyone thinks they’re normal, but they’re totally insane. In New York, they think they’re crazy, but they’re perfectly normal. --John Waters
Image


Back to top
 Profile WWW 
 
 Post subject: Re: The Obner Divorce Curse Strikes Again
PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 2:38 am 
Offline
Troubador
User avatar

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 3:23 pm
Posts: 3603
Location: Far South of Hell
Be well Bob. Not ever easy but sometimes just what's needed for both.


Back to top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Obner Divorce Curse Strikes Again
PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 3:22 am 
Offline
Go Platinum
User avatar

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 8:37 pm
Posts: 8889
Location: Lincoln, Nebraska USA
That sucks Bob, count me in as one of those people who assumed your marriage was going well.
I wish thee well, you seem like you're a great father and have always been a cool guy on here.

_________________
Rock 'n Roll: The most brutal, ugly, desperate, vicious form of expression it has been my misfortune to hear.
Frank Sinatra


Back to top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Obner Divorce Curse Strikes Again
PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 7:54 am 
Offline
frostingspoon
User avatar

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 11:47 am
Posts: 13862
Location: parts unknown
The fact that your kids remain the number one priority for you and your wife during this process, will do wonders, and I think you may wind up being surprised at how well your kids may deal with the situation.

My folks divorced when I was 9 with the similar goal, and were able to put their 'sh*t' aside on my behalf, and it (from what i can remember) worked out for the best. I think kids (starting at a really young age) have the capacity to understand stuff way beyond their years. I have a general idea of how old your kids are based on pictures over the years, but if not now, eventually they will clearly see that their folks aren't happy like a married couple 'should' be. If it is an amicable split, I think in the long run, the love within your family can be stronger than ever.

Kudos to you and the Mrs. for sticking it out as long as you did...My parents became the best of friends after they divorced...

stay strong.

_________________
http://www.geminicrow.com


Back to top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Obner Divorce Curse Strikes Again
PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 8:28 am 
Offline
frostingspoon
User avatar

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 11:41 am
Posts: 11048
I'm sorry bob. If there's anything you need, just give a ring.

So what are you going to do to make yourself happy? Any big plans? Gonna pull a dangerfield and head back to school?

_________________
Flying Rabbit wrote:
I don't eat it every morning, I do however, pull it out sometimes.


Back to top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Obner Divorce Curse Strikes Again
PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 8:46 am 
Offline
Natural Harvester
User avatar

Joined: Sat Oct 23, 2004 1:38 pm
Posts: 23076
Location: Portland, OR
FT wrote:
Thanks, Chadwick. All things considered (and I'm sure MANY couples entering the separation/divorce phase say this), I really think we're both OK with it and with each other moving forward. No custody battles or lingering resentment or any of that stuff. It's time for us to be happy, which we no longer were together. I'm worried about how the kids will handle/process all this, but we are going to do whatever it takes to remain a family - even though we won't always be together (if that even makes the slightest bit of sense).


this right here is really great to hear man, and honestly, the way it should be. you both need to be happy.

divorce was definitely the right move for me and the ex. it was never a negative, we simply grew apart from each other.

:cheers: to you FT for whatever road you take.


Back to top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Obner Divorce Curse Strikes Again
PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 9:39 am 
Offline
A True Aristocrat of Freedom

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 11:46 am
Posts: 22121
Location: a worn-out debauchee and drivelling sot
Well, Fuck A Duck, Bobbo. Whatever you need or want, just let us know. We got your back.

_________________
Throughout his life, from childhood until death, he was beset by severe swings of mood. His depressions frequently encouraged, and were exacerbated by, his various vices. His character mixed a superficial Enlightenment sensibility for reason and taste with a genuine and somewhat Romantic love of the sublime and a propensity for occasionally puerile whimsy.
harry wrote:
I understand that you, of all people, know this crisis and, in your own way, are working to address it. You, the madras-pantsed julip-sipping Southern cracker and me, the oldman hippie California fruit cake are brothers in the struggle to save our country.

FT wrote:
LooGAR (the straw that stirs the drink)


Back to top
 Profile WWW 
 
 Post subject: Re: The Obner Divorce Curse Strikes Again
PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 9:52 am 
Offline
frostingspoon
User avatar

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 11:35 am
Posts: 14295
Location: cincy
Shocked.


Back to top
 Profile WWW 
 
 Post subject: Re: The Obner Divorce Curse Strikes Again
PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 9:58 am 
Offline
frostingspoon
User avatar

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 11:41 am
Posts: 11048
yeah, i was surprised too. And I didn't even have him picked in the divorce pool

_________________
Flying Rabbit wrote:
I don't eat it every morning, I do however, pull it out sometimes.


Back to top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Obner Divorce Curse Strikes Again
PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 10:01 am 
Offline
Indie Debut
User avatar

Joined: Wed Aug 22, 2007 9:27 am
Posts: 1559
Sorry to hear that, but like you said it may be the best for all involved. My only piece of advice (at this point, anyway) is always remember how this is affecting your kids, and act accordingly. I don't mean to spoil them hopelessly, but always be there for them and watch out for their feelings and needs.

_________________
It is traumatic to live with nutty breed of human, all in the name of family-hood.


Back to top
 Profile YIM 
 
 Post subject: Re: The Obner Divorce Curse Strikes Again
PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 10:07 am 
Offline
Whiskey Tango
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 26, 2004 9:08 pm
Posts: 21750
Location: REDLANDS
Senator GAR in 2010! wrote:
Well, Fuck A Duck, Bobbo. Whatever you need or want, just let us know. We got your back.


Bob should move in with your inlaws immediately. We could bring in cameras and pitch the whole thing as a reality show.

Best wishes on sorting through all this and (hopefully) coming out the other side.

_________________
"To keep you is no benefit. To destroy you is no loss."


Back to top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Obner Divorce Curse Strikes Again
PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 10:22 am 
Offline
Second Album Slump
User avatar

Joined: Tue Nov 29, 2005 2:10 pm
Posts: 2030
Location: Brisbane
Hey man, no advice or perspective here, but best of luck to you and your family.

_________________
///][)(!@#@!!


Back to top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Obner Divorce Curse Strikes Again
PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 10:52 am 
Offline
A True Aristocrat of Freedom

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 11:46 am
Posts: 22121
Location: a worn-out debauchee and drivelling sot
Yail Bloor wrote:
Senator GAR in 2010! wrote:
Well, Fuck A Duck, Bobbo. Whatever you need or want, just let us know. We got your back.


Bob should move in with your inlaws immediately. We could bring in cameras and pitch the whole thing as a reality show.

Best wishes on sorting through all this and (hopefully) coming out the other side.


The Gaines Burger Hotel?

_________________
Throughout his life, from childhood until death, he was beset by severe swings of mood. His depressions frequently encouraged, and were exacerbated by, his various vices. His character mixed a superficial Enlightenment sensibility for reason and taste with a genuine and somewhat Romantic love of the sublime and a propensity for occasionally puerile whimsy.
harry wrote:
I understand that you, of all people, know this crisis and, in your own way, are working to address it. You, the madras-pantsed julip-sipping Southern cracker and me, the oldman hippie California fruit cake are brothers in the struggle to save our country.

FT wrote:
LooGAR (the straw that stirs the drink)


Back to top
 Profile WWW 
 
 Post subject: Re: The Obner Divorce Curse Strikes Again
PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 10:59 am 
Offline
Go Platinum
User avatar

Joined: Fri Nov 12, 2004 8:40 pm
Posts: 5286
Location: Jacksonville, FL
Once you've both come to the same conclusion, it's time to act. Been through it twice. If I can help at all, I'm here.


Back to top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Obner Divorce Curse Strikes Again
PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 11:05 am 
Offline
Whiskey Tango
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 26, 2004 9:08 pm
Posts: 21750
Location: REDLANDS
Senator GAR in 2010! wrote:
Yail Bloor wrote:
Senator GAR in 2010! wrote:
Well, Fuck A Duck, Bobbo. Whatever you need or want, just let us know. We got your back.


Bob should move in with your inlaws immediately. We could bring in cameras and pitch the whole thing as a reality show.

Best wishes on sorting through all this and (hopefully) coming out the other side.


The Gaines Burger Hotel?


:banana: :rockbanana:

*golfclap*


:thumbsup:

_________________
"To keep you is no benefit. To destroy you is no loss."


Back to top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Obner Divorce Curse Strikes Again
PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 11:11 am 
Offline
frostingspoon
User avatar

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 12:59 pm
Posts: 10777
Location: Sutton, Greater London
No insight across the ocean... just sympathy and love. Don't post here these days, but you know how to get in touch if needed.


Back to top
 Profile WWWYIM 
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 605 posts ] 

Board index : Music Talk : Rock/Pop

Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 25  Next

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot], Majestic-12 [Bot] and 6 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron
Style by Midnight Phoenix & N.Design Studio
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group.