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PostPosted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 2:02 pm 
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A True Aristocrat of Freedom

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I don't know but a good one for Alabama might be something like:

1. We still pay THEM to pick Cotton at the Old South Ball
2. What Do Alabama Fans and Maggots have in common? (A tribute to Bear Bryant's Hat)
3. The School House Door (George Wallace will ALWAYS be MY Governor)
4. TO THE MOON (Not Ralph Cramden, Huntsville!)
5. The Free State of Winston (We've ALWAYS been Republicans)
6. If you bait a trap with Women and Whiskey, you'll always catch The Governore (Big Jim Folsom loves Adam Clayton Powell)
7. Why don't they just spell Clanton with a "K" and let people know where they really are
8. Don't let the sun set on your shiny black ass in Sand Mountain
9. Selma to Montgomery (John Lewis got his brains bashed in, and I he'pped!)
10. Raising the Bar vs. Raising Cattle (The Iron Bowl is more important than Jesus)
11. The Sovereign State of Mobile (We have Mules older than Birmingham)
12. UCLA, some call it the Wiregrass
13. Yes, Forrest Gump is from Alabama, but the next person who says "Alabama, Suh!" to me is getting rocked in the grill
14. The Best thing about Alabama is that it keeps Georgia Hundreds of Miles from Mississippi

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Throughout his life, from childhood until death, he was beset by severe swings of mood. His depressions frequently encouraged, and were exacerbated by, his various vices. His character mixed a superficial Enlightenment sensibility for reason and taste with a genuine and somewhat Romantic love of the sublime and a propensity for occasionally puerile whimsy.
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LooGAR (the straw that stirs the drink)


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 2:11 pm 
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KILLFILED

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Sen.LooGAR'sCrunkmas wrote:
14. The Best thing about Alabama is that it keeps Georgia Hundreds of Miles from Mississippi


Conflating two states, or does Alabama actually do Georgia's bidding?


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 2:53 pm 
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frostingspoon
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I'm going to read Sketch's after I do mine, so I don't copy.

Sufjan Stevens presents: Round on Both Ends and Hi in the Middle

1. Water on both sides and High in the Middle
2. Buck Eyes in the Buckeye
3. If it's Brown, Flush it Down
4. When Pigs Fly
5. I saw the alien housed at Wright Patterson
6. Cleveland Doesn't Rock As Much As People Think
7. Wapakoneta has a Neil Armstrong Museum, No Really
8. We have a Columbus too
9. Frank's Mom is His Grandmother Too!
10. It only takes a couple hours to get out by car
11. It's Not So Much The Heat, As It Is The Humidity
12. Highway Sniper is one Crazy Dude
13. It was so Hot Yesterday, how'd it get so Damn Cold?
14. The 10 Inches of snow we got Yesterday has already melted.
15. I can't find the non-polluted river to swim in.
16. Let's go to Cincinnati and start a riot.
17. Lebron has Built this City on Rock'N'Roll


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 2:55 pm 
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Go Platinum

Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2005 7:04 pm
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oldbullee wrote:
Louisiana ! Every Respectable Nation Needs a Boot.

1. Natural Resources for sale and cheap.
2. At least we're not Mississippi (the tale of the 2nd to last state on very list)
3. Huey P. Long, Edwin Edwards or how to become wealthy by being governor.
4. Will the last one to leave remember to turn the lights off.
5. We might be poor and stupid but dammit if we can't cook.
6. Invasion of the Chinese seafood!
7. New Orleans the European City of decadence or an excuse to go to strip clubs.
8. The state to not fly over if you are a rock star.
9. The irony of Old Man River
10. Please save our coast, our lives, and our homes because you need us more than you know.
11. Thank you Alabama and Florida for taking the bad Hurricanes
12. North of I-10, who the hell are those people?
13. Oh Josh Booty what have you done?
14. Sherman burned Atlanta but save Louisiana
15. Crook or Racist? A state decides what poison pill to take.
16. Napoleon's thumbprint on America


Mine is pretty erie in light of Katrina and Rita.

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I tried to find somebody of that sort that I could like that nobody else did - because everybody would adopt his group, and his group would be _it_; someone weird like Captain Beefheart. It's no different now - people trying to outdo ! each other in extremes. There are people who like X, and there are people who say X are wimps; they like Black Flag.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 2:59 pm 
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Whiskey Tango
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oldbullee wrote:
oldbullee wrote:
Louisiana ! Every Respectable Nation Needs a Boot.

1. Natural Resources for sale and cheap.
2. At least we're not Mississippi (the tale of the 2nd to last state on very list)
3. Huey P. Long, Edwin Edwards or how to become wealthy by being governor.
4. Will the last one to leave remember to turn the lights off.
5. We might be poor and stupid but dammit if we can't cook.
6. Invasion of the Chinese seafood!
7. New Orleans the European City of decadence or an excuse to go to strip clubs.
8. The state to not fly over if you are a rock star.
9. The irony of Old Man River
10. Please save our coast, our lives, and our homes because you need us more than you know.
11. Thank you Alabama and Florida for taking the bad Hurricanes
12. North of I-10, who the hell are those people?
13. Oh Josh Booty what have you done?
14. Sherman burned Atlanta but save Louisiana
15. Crook or Racist? A state decides what poison pill to take.
16. Napoleon's thumbprint on America


Mine is pretty erie in light of Katrina and Rita.


I thought the same thing when i reread this thread earlier.

So I came up with two new ones:

17. Our state university got their asses whipped by the Dawgs
18. Hurricane damage? What are they gonna do? Downgrade us to a fourth world country.

Sorry Tanner, I kid.

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 3:03 pm 
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Go Platinum

Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2005 7:04 pm
Posts: 9783
Location: NOLA
No need to aplogize. I can laugh at myself and my neighbors. But I'm still a little bitter about our recent ass whipping. A side note there are some rumors that Miles might take the Colorado job if it becomes available.

_________________
I tried to find somebody of that sort that I could like that nobody else did - because everybody would adopt his group, and his group would be _it_; someone weird like Captain Beefheart. It's no different now - people trying to outdo ! each other in extremes. There are people who like X, and there are people who say X are wimps; they like Black Flag.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 4:01 pm 
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frostingspoon
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Sketch's is waaaaay better than mine.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 6:59 am 
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frostingspoon
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timmyjoe42 wrote:
Sketch's is waaaaay better than mine.

It's all about sincere effort, my man. My list's most glaring omission is a direct reference to the Wright Bros or WPAFB, and you covered that. Lebron was a nice touch as well.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 22, 2008 1:25 pm 
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Hair Trigger of Doom

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 2:05 pm
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Location: Subpoenaed in Texas
This remains my favorite thread ever, so I'm always looking for any excuse to resurrect it.

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 2:04 am 
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Hair Trigger of Doom

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I wonder how far up the queue he's moved Alaska since you know who started to dominate the zeitgeist...

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 11:32 am 
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Go Platinum
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Posts: 5568
lol at "the queue"


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 11:33 am 
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Go Platinum
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Posts: 5568
i place the over/under on future 'state' releases at 1.5, and im inclined to take the under


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 1:22 pm 
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KILLFILED

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Posts: 14993
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FT wrote:
I wonder how far up the queue he's moved Alaska since you know who started to dominate the zeitgeist...


Who doth nail Palin? A Socratic Dialogue of Sex, Power, & Chic Spectacles


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 11:07 pm 
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Hair Trigger of Doom

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Location: Subpoenaed in Texas
Aaron Rodgers Mustache wrote:
FT wrote:
I wonder how far up the queue he's moved Alaska since you know who started to dominate the zeitgeist...


Who doth nail Palin? A Socratic Dialogue of Sex, Power, & Chic Spectacles


VALDEZ!: Requiem for a Hazelwood

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 11:12 pm 
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Failed Reunion

Joined: Tue Nov 23, 2004 12:53 am
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Location: any suggestions?
Juneau, D'juknow?

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 11:38 pm 
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Hair Trigger of Doom

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Location: Subpoenaed in Texas
I CAN SEE TED STEVENS FROM MY HOUSE!

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 Post subject: Re: Predict Sufjan's Tracklisting for YOUR State's Album!
PostPosted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 9:59 pm 
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Hipster Backlash
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Posts: 2950
Location: A Very Red State
FT wrote:
Sufjan Stevens presents: The Stars At Night Are Big And Bright CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! Deep in the Heart of Texas (2017)

1. Carole Keeton McClellan Rylander Strayhorn is One Tough Grandma!
2. Yikes!! The Day Laborers Have Invaded and Are Willing To Work For Thousands Less!
3. Steers and Queers? Not in Austin. It's More Like Hippies and Yuppies!
4. I Am Henry Lee Lucas III, I Am!
5. It's Time To Mow and Edge The Grassy Knoll!
6. There Are Rusted Cadillacs Partially Buried Along the Side of the Highway That Runs Through the Panhandle On the Way to Buddy Holly's Hometown!
7. John Ross Ewing Was Not So Much Based on a Specific Person as a Composite of Various Dallas-Area Oil Magnates from the 1970's!
8. The Galveston I Know Is Not Unlike the One Immortalized in Song by Glen Campbell, Except He Forgot to Mention the 1900 Storm!
9. Houston!
10. Help!! I Smell Tear Gas! I Hear Bullets! I am a Branch Davidian!
11. Don't Mind the Scenery, Lance Rentzel's Just Airing Out His Weenie Again!
12. Forget the Alamo...Remember the Sportatorium!
13. The Next Person Who Mentions L.B.J. is Getting a Knee to the Groin!
14. The Thing About the Red River is That It Isn't Really Red, But It Sure Would Be Cool If It Was!
15. A Trip to Boystown Will Make You a Man, Albeit One With a Litany of Untreatable Sexually Transmitted Diseases Which Can Never Be Discussed in Mixed Company!
16. Won't You Run Over Me With Your Mercedes, Clara Harris, Clara Harris?
17. Dolph Briscoe Really Was Once Governor of Texas, and His Name Really Was Dolph!
18. Ambient Noise is Leaking From Inside the Superconducting Supercollider, Despite the Fact That It Was Never Completed Due To Massive Cost Overruns!
19. Back When They Filmed "Giant" in Marfa, Nobody Even Suspected Rock Hudson Was Gay!
20. Don't Mess With Texas, or You'll Be Subject to a Fine for Littering!
21. Billy Bob Thornton is From Arkansas, Not Texas!
22. Virtually Every High School in San Antonio is Named After a Supreme Court Justice, Except for Souter!



I'm looking forward to this one later this year.


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 Post subject: Re: Predict Sufjan's Tracklisting for YOUR State's Album!
PostPosted: Wed Mar 15, 2017 11:50 am 
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Hair Trigger of Doom

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 2:05 pm
Posts: 21243
Location: Subpoenaed in Texas
The Dreaded Marco wrote:
FT wrote:
Sufjan Stevens presents: The Stars At Night Are Big And Bright CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! Deep in the Heart of Texas (2017)

1. Carole Keeton McClellan Rylander Strayhorn is One Tough Grandma!
2. Yikes!! The Day Laborers Have Invaded and Are Willing To Work For Thousands Less!
3. Steers and Queers? Not in Austin. It's More Like Hippies and Yuppies!
4. I Am Henry Lee Lucas III, I Am!
5. It's Time To Mow and Edge The Grassy Knoll!
6. There Are Rusted Cadillacs Partially Buried Along the Side of the Highway That Runs Through the Panhandle On the Way to Buddy Holly's Hometown!
7. John Ross Ewing Was Not So Much Based on a Specific Person as a Composite of Various Dallas-Area Oil Magnates from the 1970's!
8. The Galveston I Know Is Not Unlike the One Immortalized in Song by Glen Campbell, Except He Forgot to Mention the 1900 Storm!
9. Houston!
10. Help!! I Smell Tear Gas! I Hear Bullets! I am a Branch Davidian!
11. Don't Mind the Scenery, Lance Rentzel's Just Airing Out His Weenie Again!
12. Forget the Alamo...Remember the Sportatorium!
13. The Next Person Who Mentions L.B.J. is Getting a Knee to the Groin!
14. The Thing About the Red River is That It Isn't Really Red, But It Sure Would Be Cool If It Was!
15. A Trip to Boystown Will Make You a Man, Albeit One With a Litany of Untreatable Sexually Transmitted Diseases Which Can Never Be Discussed in Mixed Company!
16. Won't You Run Over Me With Your Mercedes, Clara Harris, Clara Harris?
17. Dolph Briscoe Really Was Once Governor of Texas, and His Name Really Was Dolph!
18. Ambient Noise is Leaking From Inside the Superconducting Supercollider, Despite the Fact That It Was Never Completed Due To Massive Cost Overruns!
19. Back When They Filmed "Giant" in Marfa, Nobody Even Suspected Rock Hudson Was Gay!
20. Don't Mess With Texas, or You'll Be Subject to a Fine for Littering!
21. Billy Bob Thornton is From Arkansas, Not Texas!
22. Virtually Every High School in San Antonio is Named After a Supreme Court Justice, Except for Souter!



I'm looking forward to this one later this year.


this remains one of my favorite gags I ever came up with

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 Post subject: Re: Predict Sufjan's Tracklisting for YOUR State's Album!
PostPosted: Wed Mar 15, 2017 11:50 am 
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Hair Trigger of Doom

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 2:05 pm
Posts: 21243
Location: Subpoenaed in Texas
and sweet jebus THAT WAS 12 YEARS AGO!!!

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 Post subject: Re: Predict Sufjan's Tracklisting for YOUR State's Album!
PostPosted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 12:51 am 
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Hipster Backlash
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One of my favorite Obner threads.


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 Post subject: Re: Predict Sufjan's Tracklisting for YOUR State's Album!
PostPosted: Fri Jul 21, 2017 6:35 pm 
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frostingspoon
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Location: On the gas and tappin' ass
Holyshit, twelve years.

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