Two weeks ago one of my wife's best friends (who lives in Michigan) had to take her 10 year old daughter to the hospital because the girl had a sore spot in her mouth. They thought there'd just be antibiotics, then thought it was an hemangioma growth, then found out yesterday it was extemely rapidly spreading cancer and the girl needs immediate intensive chemo and difficult surgery or she will die.

This is a very nice woman with five other kids. At the beginning of the month this girl was about the healthiest of the brood.

I want to be supportive but don't think sending her one more "you're in my prayers" email is the helpful way to go about it. Suggestions? Maybe send some money? Pay for a plane ticket for Lisa to go out there?

As a father, I think you know that there is nothing you can do/say to make anything better. And before sending your wife out there, you may want to check with your friend to see if she wants that kind of support. Different people handle these things in different ways.

I will pray for your friend and her daughter, myself, however.

It's always hard. Maybe just call and ask what the best way I can help. They're probably really scared right now, and anything you can that might ease that is probably the way to go. I know that's not much of help, but I'm probably worse at these situations than you.

Wow, Phil, that's a tough one. I went through a similar situation recently, when a co-worker's daughter was diagnosed with cancer, went through all the treatments for a couple of years, and subsequently passed away. She was only 6. I'm not sure if there's anything that can be said that hasn't already been said a million times before, but just being there, being available to lend a hand or an ear when necessary, is sometimes the best thing you can offer. I know our team at work pitched in and bought him and his family dinners as well, to be delivered to his home. Several folks at work organized prayer circles as well, and he was aware of that.

I think your idea of sending your wife out to visit might be a kind gesture.

That's lousy. While there's probably no "good" way to handle the situtaion, I don't know that there's a "bad" way either. My inclination would be simply to make yourselves available, listen a lot, and let the woman and her family decide what help/support they want.

Very sorry to hear this, kids deserve better.

I'm from the south. We send food when there's nothing you can say

i think the 'airplane ticket' idea sounds great.
(of course, you do need to somehow feel out whether or not this wouldn't be an imposition....)

while i haven't lost a child, my mom passed away a year and a half ago.....and what mattered most wasn't what people said to me....it was just that they were there.

if this is one of your wife's best friends, i'm sure she would LOVE to have the support there with her.

i think that's a great idea.

what she said. there's nothing you can really "say" to make them feel better, just the fact that you care and you are giving your support is what should matter. it's a very difficult situation, i couldn't even imagine it.

Simple things like cooking food and watching her other kids could make a huge difference for her. It's the routine things like that that make a difference sometimes. Your wife might be able to help nicely.

My wife's spent the day arranging Paypal donations from friends around the country and she tracked down Make A Wish Foundation people in Florida to see if anything can be arranged later.

I haven't met the kid, but she's supposedly quite a sweet one. Really good softball player. Smart. Never had much illness or anything.

Not exactly the same thing but I was at the movies with my friend Neal last night who I haven't seen in awhile and he told me that one of his brother-in-law's died a week ago and that they just had the funeral today. I guess he was at a bar and he just put his head down to rest or something and never woke up. I really didn't know what to say other than "damn, that's messed up".