The Courtesy Flush

mutty · **Posted:** Thu Jul 21, 2005 10:43 pm

Northern Soul Wrote:

i take a shit in an outhouse everyday. needless to say, we have no trouble.

I wish I was that regular.

Dusty Chalk · **Posted:** Fri Jul 22, 2005 1:32 am

FT Wrote:

I'm glad someone has finally started a thread regarding the courtesy flush, because I have long wondered whether the primary purpose is to evacuate the stench or to mask expulsion sounds. Or is it both? I don't know about you, but when I've got a particularly volatile rear expulsion taking place (like shortly after consuming a Cobb Salad at Hooter's) and someone else is simultaneously occupying the general loo space, I'm too self-conscious to allow my high-decibel defecation to reverberate unabated in those situations. Consequently, I feel the need to flush each time such volcanic activity takes place, even though everyone knows what goes on in bathroom stalls. I shouldn't feel complelled to do this, but I have this weird delusion that maybe if they don't hear me, they won't think I pooped.

Oh, and yeah, it does also help to avoid the prolonging of any untenable stench. But which is more important?

No, because the first time you do that, everyone outside starts laughing, and then you start laughing too, and everyone knows that you can't laugh and shit at the same time (and if you do laugh and fart at the same time, it just gets funnier).

legonads · **Posted:** Fri Jul 22, 2005 1:41 am

FT Wrote:

I'm too self-conscious to allow my high-decibel defecation to reverberate unabated in those situations.

I sometimes wonder if toilets manufacturers ever consider acoustics when designing the bowls.

There's got to be a toilet design that can mute your back pipes.

Elvis Fu · **Posted:** Fri Jul 22, 2005 9:28 am

American Standard makes this uncloggable toilet that you can flush something like 20 golf balls or a dozen rags down with no need for a plunger.

HaqDiesel · **Posted:** Fri Jul 22, 2005 11:46 am

Elvis Fu Wrote:

American Standard makes this uncloggable toilet that you can flush something like 20 golf balls or a dozen rags down with no need for a plunger.

OPA! · **Posted:** Fri Jul 22, 2005 11:54 am

The imagine of the guy's shoe in the next toilet always makes me self-conscious. I don't know why...

Elvis Fu · **Posted:** Fri Jul 22, 2005 11:56 am

OPA! Wrote:

The imagine of the guy's shoe in the next toilet always makes me self-conscious. I don't know why...

Because it's tapping?

Dusty Chalk · **Posted:** Fri Jul 22, 2005 1:53 pm

HaqDiesel Wrote:

Elvis Fu Wrote:

American Standard makes this uncloggable toilet that you can flush Saddam Hussein down with no need for a plunger.

back_space · **Posted:** Fri Jul 22, 2005 3:27 pm

This is by far the funniest thread ever on Obner.

So....

Has anyone been to europe east of Ireland?

Last year when I was there, I was thrilled at how many pubs, stores, musuems had stalls that were actually small rooms. Full sized doors cut down on the need for flushing, fake coughing, sneezing etc. I loved it. It was 2 weeks of bathroom bliss.

Is the rest of Europe this ahead of the game?

Elvis Fu · **Posted:** Fri Jul 22, 2005 3:27 pm

I want a bidet in my house.

The neighbors look at me funny when I use their sprinkler.

mutty · **Posted:** Fri Jul 22, 2005 3:34 pm

I remember most european restrooms as barbaric, indimidating, and odd. Like the toilets that are just raised footprints on the floor around a hole - squatters, we'd call them. (Switzerland) Or the urinals that are just long troughs along the wall where the men stand shoulder to shoulder. (Italy, France, and Austria) Or even a urinal like a water fountain, where everyone stands around the outside and pisses in towards each other. (Budapest)

As a matter of fact, I don't remember ever being piss shy or worrying about toilet etiquette until after my Europe trips.

Elvis Fu · **Posted:** Fri Jul 22, 2005 3:46 pm

Hey! Looks who's not going to Budapest!

OPA! · **Posted:** Fri Jul 22, 2005 3:54 pm

Europeans have a very non-chalant attitude about their bathroom habits. I remember every time I went to Greece, the men would just whip it out and piss, not caring who was looking, etc. Or even in non-bathroom related incidents where I'd be hanging out with someone in the street and he'd whip it out and start pissing in front of me. Uhhh...you'd think I would like that sort of thing...

Cap'n Squirrgle · **Posted:** Fri Jul 22, 2005 3:57 pm

German toilets are POWERFUL. Flushing sounds like the end of the world. Makes you think twice about courtesy flushing, for fear of being sucked down into it.

Cotton · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 6:12 pm **Posts:** 17155

if you guys are freaked out by euro toilets, i'd stay the hell away from most of asia. that shit (no pun intended) is SCARY.

HideousLump · **Posted:** Sat Jul 23, 2005 12:27 am

Elvis Fu Wrote:

OPA! Wrote:

The imagine of the guy's shoe in the next toilet always makes me self-conscious. I don't know why...

Because it's tapping?

You might as well just come out of the closet right now, because no straight man knows the secret foot code of the urban homosexual.

FT Wrote:

I have this weird delusion that maybe if they don't hear me, they won't think I pooped.

You're in denial--whenever coworkers see a "gentleman of size" heading for the men's room, they're all imagining you pooping in fragrant detail.

Elvis Fu · **Posted:** Sat Jul 23, 2005 12:39 am

HideousLump Wrote:

Elvis Fu Wrote:

OPA! Wrote:

The imagine of the guy's shoe in the next toilet always makes me self-conscious. I don't know why...

Because it's tapping?

You might as well just come out of the closet right now, because no straight man knows the secret foot code of the urban homosexual.

Haha. My friend previously worked in retail loss prevention for about 8 years, and he had to break up tea room activities from time to time.

I got stuck in a dept. store a few weeks ago with sudden onset diarrhea and all I could think about while trying to hurry the hell up was his report about the suckee standing in the shopping bag so you couldn't see his feet, and it just looks like the sucker is stocking the pond with cigar fish.

zeke the moody drifter · **Joined:** Tue Jul 19, 2005 9:24 pm **Posts:** 557

After working in a bar for a couple of years, i must sa, the women's bathroom was consistently the worse smelling of the two sexes. I would go in there and tidy up after the bar has been closed and, i tell you, it smelled like an abortion clinic that was left out in the sun all day.

On a related note, i was recently informed of "top-shelfing." A process which involves pinching one in the upper-tank of a toilet. I assume this is something you do to someone or some place you hate, consequently, i guess it remains in there for awhile providing a nasty stench. Also all the 'clean' water that flushes the toilet is not that clean at all.

MontyTheMongoose · **Posted:** Sat Jul 23, 2005 6:34 pm

lesemajesty Wrote:

After working in a bar for a couple of years, i must sa, the women's bathroom was consistently the worse smelling of the two sexes. I would go in there and tidy up after the bar has been closed and, i tell you, it smelled like an abortion clinic that was left out in the sun all day.

On a related note, i was recently informed of "top-shelfing." A process which involves pinching one in the upper-tank of a toilet. I assume this is something you do to someone or some place you hate, consequently, i guess it remains in there for awhile providing a nasty stench. Also all the 'clean' water that flushes the toilet is not that clean at all.

Check the Obbner archive. The Senator or Yail had a nice anecdote about top-shelving.

Do it.

zeke the moody drifter · **Joined:** Tue Jul 19, 2005 9:24 pm **Posts:** 557

Quote:

Check the Obbner archive. The Senator or Yail had a nice anecdote about top-shelving.

Do it.

after looking, i could'nt seem to find it. It that part of the subject heading?

Dusty Chalk · **Posted:** Sun Jul 24, 2005 12:29 am

No, I think the subject was something like "would you do this" or "prank" or "just did this to a friend" or something like that.

Maybe.

Perhaps try searching on "loaf". And pinch OR pinched OR pinching.

Cap'n Squirrgle · **Posted:** Sun Jul 24, 2005 5:02 pm

No, the problem with your search is that its proper title is the "upper-decker." And yes, it is only to be performed somewhere that you want defamed.

Z · **Joined:** Sat Oct 23, 2004 1:38 pm **Posts:** 7979

Max Wrote:

Or even a urinal like a water fountain, where everyone stands around the outside and pisses in towards each other. (Budapest)

the urinals at the tribeca grand in new york have mirrors. i've felt like i'm pissing on someone else when i can see them in the mirror next to me. i'll never understand that design.

Radcliffe · **Posted:** Sun Jul 24, 2005 6:23 pm

[quote="Z"the urinals at the tribeca grand in new york have mirrors. i've felt like i'm pissing on someone else when i can see them in the mirror next to me. i'll never understand that design.[/quote]
Jeez, I remember tripping on acid at a strip joint downtown and going in to take a piss and the whole bathroom was paneled with mirrors. Totally had to zone in on the urinal puck or my brain would've imploded like the house at the end of Poltergeist.

The Courtesy Flush

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