Alright, here's what I think we're gonna go with, and why.
A company called Integra (upscale sister brand of Onkyo, which I have now and love) makes a receiver that's THX 7.1, and has a second zone that will run all the ceiling speakers in the house. It's 100 watts to each channel in surround, which is more than healthy, and that Niles thing (7 zones, $3,000+) doesn't even do surround. This one is easier to use, more flexible in some ways, and should cost me less than $900.
But here's the killer part. All those sets of ceiling speakers in the other rooms are controlled by little wall touchpads, with just a volume & on/off button on each pad. You can take the remote with you into the bathroom or whatever, point it at the touchpad, and change it from radio to cd or ipod or whatever, as well as adjust volume / mute. And you don't have to run speaker wire to each of the touchpads... this is the wierd/cool part... just Cat5. You run cat 5 to each pad, and it has its own 7watt amp to run the speakers in the ceiling, which is enough to get decent volume on low-power speakers, and you run (in my case) like 200ft less speaker wire (which adds up). Only speaker wire runs are from each pad to the speakers in that room, and the theater runs. Then the theater speakers will all be in-wall except the center, which will be a flat-ish wide one mounted right below the flat-screen, which I'm thinking may be one of the new LG's where you just slide a dvd into it like an iMac instead of using a separate dvd player in the closet.
Here's (
http://integrahometheater.com/model.cfm?class=Receiver&m=DTR-6.5&p=i) the receiver, if anyone's curious. Not a whole lot different from the Redlands setup, really, but definately more controllable from all those rooms. We're also thinking of resale, here.