I bought a Hershey's Pot Of Gold box of chocolates today because it was only $3.95. I should've gotten the one with nuts. Where did my semi-coolness go?

well then i've got a book for you to read.

someone come to my house and stab me with a broken lightbulb.

when did chocolate become "not cool"?....
Maybe I'm missing the pot o' gold reference somewhere in there...

It's not so much that it's chocolate, just that it's a box of chocolates which is usually something you give to grandma's.

Since my grandmother died, I've had to buy my own rolls of Necco Wafers.

No, buying the box of chocolates is fine. When you start purchasing floral printed head scarves, you may want to start worrying.

Or when you've begun eating spinach for lunch nearly ever day. What human below age 65 would do that? (Hi Mom!)

Or start wearing those lighthouse cardigans. I worked at a store that sold them and those things flew off the racks when they bussed the elderly ladies and gentlemen in during autumn.

box contents

signature piece - eh, piece of chocolate. nothing great. it looks like one of those small pieces of hershey's chocolates but without anything exciting in it...ya know it has the special dark, krackel...that stuff.

rum & butter caramel - kind of a small portion. it's okay.

vanilla - some good shit.

dark truffle - kinda gross. too much chocolate for me.

milk truffle - slightly better than the dark truffle, but not by much.

hazelnut bouquet - probably the 2nd best candy in the box. it'd be better if caramel was inside instead of chocolate though.

royal almond caramel cluster - it looks like a Turtle, but with almonds instead of pecans. they're good, but pecans are so much better. now i know why this box cost $3.95

maraschino cherry - right in the trash with you.

tropico - best candy in the box. looks like a mini reese's cup but with coconut. mmm. but what kind of stupid fucking name is tropico? i guess for the coconut but still...

Pure heresy.