i don't get trick-or-treaters now where i live....(kind of in a rural area)

but 2 years ago i lived in the heart of 'trick or treat central'.

i would always try to be 'creative' with the treats i passed out. halloween packaged microwave popcorn, small bags of cookies, small bags of potato chips. just something besides candy.

so, this one year i was passing out the potato chips and the cookies for the youngins. i had also picked up a package of honey roasted peanuts....which, in hindsight....i realize most kids probably wouldn't be very excited about.

anyway.... early on in the evening...this cute little fairy princess comes up and i drop a package of peanuts in her bag. (i wasn't really thinking. just grabbed something and put it in there.)

her mom tells her to thank me.....and she looks at me and asks what i just put in her bag.
i told her it was a bag of peanuts. she tells me that she doesn't like peanuts. her mom reprimands her for being rude and again, tells her to thank me.

and she says: 'but i don't like peanuts.'

again, her mom reprimands her and tells her to thank me.

(of course, i would've just switched the peanuts for something else...i didn't care. but her mom was taking control here....)

so, instead of thanking me.....the girls starts crying.

her mom apologizes and thanks me and they head back to the sidewalk. they stand out on my sidewalk for a little bit....the mom was trying to reason with the little girl. the girl calmed down.

and all of a sudden.....the little girl starts SCREAMING.

BUT I DON'T LIIIIIIIIIKE PEANUTS!!!!

the mom swoops her up and tells her that trick or treat is over for her and that she's going home and going to bed. they head off down the street.

and i hear her screaming THE ENTIRE WAY about how much she hates peanuts.

totally made my night.

i would have destroyed your house twice a year, every year, if you'd given me a bag of popcorn that you'd bagged up yourself.

When I left the house last night there was a line of kids probably 8-10 deep on the steps. As I walked past, I told the candy hander, "Hey, if the bowl runs out, just grab some of that broccoli in the fridge". The looks made my night.

no no. i didn't bag the popcorn up myself.


they sell little individually wrapped packages of microwave popcorn that is even decorated for halloween.

i would never give anything that wasn't factory sealed.

Bully on that.

I have to draw miniature jacks o'lantern on the tubes of astroglide before giving them out, to make them seasonally appropriate.

Definitely make sure you have peanuts next year.

the cab i was in last night got egged.

if you gave me honey roasted peanuts i would have thought you were awesome. i dont think giving out peanuts is such a good idea though since so many kids are allergic.

My 11 year-old brother died from eating a poisoned bag of popcorn that wasn't factory sealed. His may have survived had his system not been weakened by all the peanuts he'd eaten that night.

we call those pimps

(your building has a "candy handler"?

THANK YOU! i thought i was it was a pretty awesome alternative myself.



oh man. 2 years later and the guilt is finally settling in.

This is the only thing my family (well, my dad) has ever handed out for halloween. He's a distributor (delivery guy) for Grippo Potato Chips in Cincinnati. Kids love the Grippo Man.

that's so unamerican.

But is he grippy?