So....My mom passed away about 5 years ago....Upon cleaning up and clearing out her house, I took home with me a whole slew of stuff I wanted to keep to remember her and what not...It's all spread out through my place now....

One of the items was a simple canvas overnight bag. I have used it for various things over the last few years, and it has finally torn, and become pretty much useless. The zipper is busted...etc...

I have anew one ready to use, and I wanna get rid of this one..But I go intoo almost panic mode at the thought of getting rid if it cause it was my mom's...

It wasnt special to her. It was in the back of her closet. She didnt pull me aside and tell me to take special care of the bag or anything either....

It wouldnt take up too much space in my closet, but thats not really the point..I have been trying to unclutter my house.

I have tons of stuff of my mom's.. Getting rid of this bag, will notarnish any memories...

yet, thew idea of putting it in the trash gives me sweats and guilt...


So, is this just leftover grieving? Am I being silly? It's a ripped up bag...
Should I just throw it in the closet, where its bound to be for the remainder of my life? What can i do, to get over this simple thing, and part with it, and ocntinue on with my uncluttering...?

sorry, but this has been on my mind for a few weeks now...amd i can't come up with answers on my own...

i completely understand, dov.

my mom died 10 years ago and i still have really weird stuff packed away because i just feel too..."something"...to get rid of it. over time i have thrown out some things but not many. it's really hard.
if you need to stuff it in a trash bag in the back of a closet for another year or two, do it.
my mom used to tease us and tell us we were rotten kids. when i throw stuff out i just tell her she was right and kind of laugh about it.

give yourself a break and maybe one day some of the stuff may just feel silly to hold on to.

id probably throw it away. when my dad died the only thing I got was a walking stick he had from vietnam - made of wood from there with a bunch of army inscriptions and stuff. pretty sad really - he never said one word about the war during his whole life and that is what he wanted me to have.

Yo...No sillyness here...It's just something that reminds you of your mom...My dad will be gone 4 in January and I still have trouble getting rid of the most random crap of his that I still have...I cleaned his place out and had some much stuff I didn't want to throw out..I have since got rid of alot, but it's real tough everytime...If your not ready now, you may be some day...If it doesn't take up much space, keep it for a bit...

they're just objects...the memory of your mother is in your mind not in them

My mom's 78. Last year she showed me some poems she wrote in 1945. I didn't know she ever wrote anything except indecipherable hen scratchings in tiny journals.

I'd want those poems after she passes.

Maybe you need to focus on how important certain other items of hers are to you so that the ripped bag will diminish in importance.

My parents and all four grandparents are still alive, yet I have a box of just about every single missive and birthday card for the past 10-12 years.

i agree with your train of thought, but it's not true.
objects have an amazing power over what we remmeber.

it's garbage. throw it out.

It's good that you kept it -- keeping things to remind you of a loved one helps one grieve. But now it's time to throw it out -- this is also good. It gives you the chance to move on.

It's normal to feel an emotional attachment like that to something, but it's also "adult" to get over this feeling eventually, which you will do.

It won't kill you to hang on to it. It's not a sign of weakness.

Is the bag beyond repair?

i COMPLETELY understand and am kind of in the same boat. (last week she was gone 2 years)

i'm also trying to unclutter my life and have been getting rid of A LOT of things. i have boxes of stuff in my basement of my mom's stuff that i KNOW that i don't need. but i can't even bring myself to go through them because i know that i'll want to trim that stuff down. and i'm not ready to do that yet.

i think that if this bag is causing you this much turmoil....then you should keep it. you'll know when you're ready to let go of it.

it doesn't matter if the bag was a huge part of her life or not. it was still hers. and it's nice to be able to hold something tangible that belonged to her when you're missing her.

i say...keep the bag until you feel like you don't need it any longer. it's only a bag and really isn't taking up much room.

I'm with Ayah & DayStar on this one.

Keep the bag. When you're ready to let go of it, you will.

I have a jacket of my dad's that I refuse to get rid of. He wore it all the time. It's probably in my head, but everytime I hold it, I swear I can smell him. I doubt that I'll ever get rid of it.