http://www.museumofconceptualart.com/accomplished/



At age 17:

Nicolo Paganini dazzled audiences with his virtuosity and pawned his violin in order to pay gambling debts.

Artificial heart developer Robert Jarvik began working on his first invention, a surgical stapler.

After giving birth at age 8, Nigerian girl Mum-zi became a grandmother at 17.

Rugby college student William Webb Ellis invented the game of rugby.

Author Joseph Conrad, wanting to be a sailor, first went to sea.

American author Jack London ran away to sea on a sealing ship headed for the North Pacific. After becoming a hobo and spending time in jail, he resolved to get an education.

Composer Felix Mendelssohn wrote his overture to Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream." By this time he had also composed twelve symphonies.

Walt Whitman began teaching school in Long Island.

cool site!

At age 35:

Based on a nightmarish dream, Robert Louis Stevenson wrote The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

Russian ambassador Aleksandr Borosovich Kurakin introduced the practice of serving meals in courses.

Frederic William Herschel, an English astronomer, invented the contact lens.

American sprinter Evelyn Ashford won her final Olympic gold medal at age 35, old for a sprinter.

Amedeo Avogadro developed Avogadro's hypothesis.

Law School professor Anita Hill charged that Supreme Court nominee Clarence Thomas made indecent remarks to her.

Margie Profet proposed a new theory of menstruation which claims that menstruation protects against infection and won a MacArthur Foundation "genius" grant.

Astronaut Buzz Aldrin achieved his life's ambition at age 35 and wondered, what do you do after that?

Mozart stopped composing and started, well, you know.

At age 38:

Poet Robert Frost sold his farm and used the proceeds to move to England where he could devote himself primarily to writing, and that made all the difference.

Dian Fossey became the first primatologist to be accepted by mountain gorillas in their natural environment.

French physician Rene Theophile Hyacinthe Laennec invented the stethoscope as a way to avoid having to place the physician's ear to the female patient's breast. What a dumbass!!

Robert Fulton developed the steam boat.

Physicist Georg Simon Ohm discovered Ohm's Law.

James Marshall discovered gold in California.

Earl Vickers started the Clockworks Project, in which he kept a detailed record of what he was doing and thinking each time a random timer went off.

At age 25:

The future mythologist Joseph Campbell decided to move to Woodstock to read the classics for five years, nine hours a day. Living on very little, he would make himself readily available as a dinner guest.

Orson Welles coscripted, directed, and starred in Citizen Kane.

By this age, Charles Chaplin had appeared in 35 films.

P. T. Barnum bought a "160-year-old" slave woman and began a career in show business.

Janis Joplin made her first recording, "Cheap Thrills," which grossed over a million dollars within a few months.

Chris Burden created "Painting Shoot," which involved the artist being shot in the left arm by a friend.

Charles Lindbergh became the first person to fly alone across the Atlantic, thus winning a $25,000 prize.

Fayette, N.Y. farmhand Joseph Smith founded the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. He claimed he translated the Book of Mormon from some golden tablets revealed to him by the angel Moroni.

Bavarian painter Aloys Senefelder invented the lithograph.

French engineer Benoit Fourneyron invented the first waterwheel turbine.

Sarah Bernhardt scored her first triumph, being asked to repeat her theatrical performance before Napoleon III.

Activist Mollie Steimer became the first person to be deported from both the United States and the Soviet Union.

Physician Roger Bannister broke the four minute mile. As he collapsed unconscious into the arms of his trainer, the loudspeaker announced, "The time was three..." The uproar of the fans drowned out the rest of the announcement.

This got me to thinking about the guy that invented the anal thermometer... Why?

At age 29:

The Buddha decided to renounce the world and abandon family and posessions. Seven years later, he realized this brought him no closer to the wisdom he sought. I'd be all for this, except for the possessions part. So sayeth Meat Loaf, "Two out of three ain't bad."

Scottish-born inventor Alexander Graham Bell transmitted the first complete sentence by telephone. I would have let it go to voicemail

Agatha Christie, the most translated writer in the world, published her first book. And I read part of one of them in 8th grade.

Michael Faraday demonstrated electromagnetic rotation, leading the way to the invention of the electric motor. I would have shocked all my friends. Repeatedly.

Blacksmith Kirkpatrick MacMillan invented the first real bicycle. I would ride bikes if it was one of those cool 6 ft. tall wheel monsters

English novelist Emily Jane Bronte wrote the romance Wuthering Heights. Then Kate Bush wrote a song about it. The video is magnificently cheesy.

Singer-songwriter Carole King released her best-selling album Tapestry. And I have a copy that is in Spanish!

French naturalist George Dagobert founded the science of comparative anatomy. Any o' you gals wanna compare anatomy? Ohhh yeah..

At age 19:

Writer, painter and filmmaker Jean Cocteau published his first volume of poetry.

By age 19, W. B. Yeats "lived, breathed, ate, drank and slept poetry."

French symbolist poet Arthur Rimbaud ("A Season in Hell") abandoned his writing. He had proposed that poets become visionaries by pursuing a complete derangement of the senses. Later he became a gunrunner in Africa.

Gore Vidal, who never bothered with college, completed his first novel.

Abner Doubleday devised the rules for baseball.

Russian composer Modest Mussorgsky resigned his Imperial Guard commission for a life of "meaningful endeavor" -- writing music.

Paleontologist Richard Leakey launched his first expedition in search of human fossils.

Tired of watching friends fall prey to drugs and crime, Matty Rich fought back by directing "Straight Out of Brooklyn."

Henry David Thoreau delivered a Harvard commencement address. Expanding on Emerson's 1836 essay on "Nature", he proposed that man should work one day a week and leave six free for the "sublime revelations of nature."

Horticulturist Luther Burbank read Charles Darwin's book, The Variation of Animals and Plants Under Domestication. Inspired by this, he went on to create hundreds of new varieties of fruits, vegetables, and flowers.

Dan Topliffe survived a 50+ foot fall from an oak tree in Clayvillle, NY while working for a tree trimming company. His boss said it was a miracle. He went from the tree to the ground and had only a sore spot on his back and a scratch on his elbow.

fuck these people

At age 30:

Mark Twain published his first short story, "Jim Smiley and His Jumping Frog."

Danish novelist Hans Christian Andersen published his book of fairy tales.

Nat Turner led a slave rebellion.

U.S. mariner Moses Rogers made the first ocean steamboat voyage.

Donald Trump persuaded bankers to lend him $80 million so he could buy the Commodore Hotel.

Samuel Morse's assistant, Alfred Lewis Vail, devised Morse code.

Physicist Armand H. L. Fizeau measured the speed of light.

Dr. Narinder Kapany invented fiber optics and designed a glass gastroscope which can be snaked down the throat for a detailed view of the stomach.

Hank Williams overdosed on drugs and alcohol.

Bill Gates was the first person ever to become a billionaire by age 30.

Earl Vickers started the Dollar Project, in which dollar bills were rubber-stamped as being lost, with a reward offered for their safe return.

At age 18 I could go out and drink 8-9 beers, come home by midnight, and have brief conversation with my mom before going to bed.

She TOTALLY didn't know I was drunk!!!!

What's up now!?!?

IN YOUR FACE GORE VIDAL!!!!

Hey Cemetery,

You look like you've accomplished some pretty good artwork and photo's yourself!

Are those your pics? You're cute!




That'll get all the guys to look at your site!

thank you

At age 39:

In the wake of the firing of Jocelyn Elders as Surgeon General for her use of the m-word, Earl Vickers proclaimed an International Day of Masturbation and used the internet to organize the biggest simultaneous orgasm in history, with media coverage around the world.

I've had issues before this website, i don't need them pointing out what a loser I am. After all, I'm 28, Brian Wilson released Pet Sounds when he was 23, and already had like 10 #1 albums before that. What have I done with my life?

Pretty much nothing.

That's why you need a reincarnation religion so you can have already been great in a previous life. Just taking a breather in this one.

My sentiments exactly. (About myself, I mean) I hate this kind of shit.

By the age of 20:

-Bill Gates founded Microsoft

-Mary Shelley wrote 'Frankenstein'

-Jane Austen wrote 'Pride And Prejudice'

-Charles Lindberg learned how to fly

-Alexander Graham Bell taught a dog to talk

Wha-wha-what?!? I thought that was Pavlov.

No, Pavlov taught dogs to slobber!

Just what we need in this world! more slobbering dogs!

...on command.

Rings bell.

Tee-hee. Hours of fun.

At age 27:

Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. dropped out from his job at General Electric to become a full-time writer.

Henry David Thoreau went off for two years to live alone in a cabin at Walden Pond.

Cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin became the first person in space.

Memphis millionaire Frederic W. Smith, whose father built the Greyhound bus system, founded Federal Express.

Scottish botanist David Douglas discovered the Douglas fir.

Ernest Hemingway published his first novel, The Sun Also Rises.

Boston dentist William Morton pioneered modern anaesthesiology after learning that inhalation of ether will cause a loss of consciousness.

Conceptual artist Piero Manzoni crapped in 90 small cans which were then factory sealed and offered for sale at the price of gold.

whoop de fucking do

I've got some catching up to do. I've barely managed to loosen the bars on my "mortal prison."