Pretty Penises: A Poll Mandated By blacklakebeauty

chowgurt · **Posted:** Tue Dec 06, 2005 10:01 pm

blacklakebeauty Wrote:

chowgurt Wrote:

oh really, this one...

blacklakebeauty Wrote:

And its fun to play with the sheath. Its like those water worm things you get at the dollar store.

So, you've had both, edited and unedited? and is there a preference?

Who cares what the mantle looks like when you're stoking the fire??

No wait, that one's for ugly women.

BLB you're the best!

Cotton · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 6:12 pm **Posts:** 17155

a bit late on the topic, but the previous discussion of giant vaginas reminded me of a joke:

A guy and a girl are fooling around one night and, feeling a bit frisky, he decided to insert a few digits down south. She hums and bucks a bit, so he figures she likes it and inserts a few more. After a few minutes of this she stops kissing him and says “put your whole hand in”. “Are you sure?” he says, and she nods excitedly. So he does. After a few more minutes of this she stops him again and says “I know this sounds weird, but could you put your other hand in, too? The guy is pretty much ready for anything at this point, so he starts to comply. As he inserts his other hand he feels something in there, and curious, he pulls out a set of keys with a purple keychain. Not wanting to embarrass her, he quickly slips them into his pocket. As this goes on, she’s getting more and more turned on and urges him to go further and further until he finds his head beginning to slip in there. At this point she’s really going crazy, so he keeps going until his ENTIRE BODY has fit into her vagina. Once in, he looks around and is shocked to see another man in there. They begin to talk about how they ended up in such a predicament and the first guy says “I thought it was strange when I found the set of keys, but this is ridiculous!” The second guy looks at him and says “You found keys? Was there a purple keychain on them?” The first guy looks a bit puzzled and replies yes, there is a purple keychain on them. The second man smiles and says “great. All we need to do now is find my truck and we can drive the hell out of here”.

Hey, I never said it was a clean joke. Or even a good one.

On an entirely related note, I’m looking at a picture of the largest vagina ever. I guess when large women get abdominoplasty work done, that’s one of the sensitive areas that can’t be worked on right away, so the patient must come in later for a touch-up like procedure. This picture is between those operations and I swear is nothing but elbows and vagina. Yikes,

I swear to god this is the last vagina-related post for at least 2 weeks.

Cotton · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 6:12 pm **Posts:** 17155

oh come on. I know like 4 jokes from memory and this is easily the least offensive.

Rick Derris · **Posted:** Wed Dec 07, 2005 2:16 pm

cotton Wrote:

On an entirely related note, I’m looking at a picture of the largest vagina ever. I guess when large women get abdominoplasty work done, that’s one of the sensitive areas that can’t be worked on right away, so the patient must come in later for a touch-up like procedure. This picture is between those operations and I swear is nothing but elbows and vagina. Yikes,

I swear to god this is the last vagina-related post for at least 2 weeks.

I am strangely intrigued by the thought of some giant meat drapes.

Cotton · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 6:12 pm **Posts:** 17155

trust me dude. it's not worth dwelling on. or in.

pollysix · **Joined:** Tue Oct 26, 2004 2:56 am **Posts:** 5174

OPA_SaidTheGreek Wrote:

This is a very disturbing topic.

Well I'm the one who stubbled into it while eating breakfast.

Elvis Fu · **Posted:** Sat Dec 10, 2005 2:07 pm

Rick Derris Wrote:

cotton Wrote:

On an entirely related note, I’m looking at a picture of the largest vagina ever. I guess when large women get abdominoplasty work done, that’s one of the sensitive areas that can’t be worked on right away, so the patient must come in later for a touch-up like procedure. This picture is between those operations and I swear is nothing but elbows and vagina. Yikes,

I swear to god this is the last vagina-related post for at least 2 weeks.

I am strangely intrigued by the thought of some giant meat drapes.

The people DEMAND pictures.

I saw this chick on The Block once that looked like she was birthing a flying squirrel.

Black Magic Putin · **Posted:** Sat Dec 10, 2005 2:10 pm

Elvis Fu Wrote:

Rick Derris Wrote:

I am strangely intrigued by the thought of some giant meat drapes.

The people DEMAND pictures.

I saw this chick on The Block once that looked like she was birthing a flying squirrel.

I'm not sure if you guys know cotton or know what his job is, but there's these rules, like don't feed that motherfucker after midnight, don't get him wet and never, ever ask for pictures of anything that he's told you he has pictures of.

chowgurt · **Posted:** Sat Dec 10, 2005 7:59 pm

cemeterypolka Wrote:

rpartridgeinapeartree74 Wrote:

i ain't scared of em. you just gotta look it in the eye and tell it who's boss.

I've always wondered why in sculpture in the past, the artists who were portraying figures from the upper class nude with extremely small genitals. Why did they do this? Through the past few months in art history, constantly looking at sculpture, I haven't yet seen a penis that was bigger than a AA battery.

found this today CP.
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/051209.html

Cotton · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 6:12 pm **Posts:** 17155

Joseph P. Crack Wrote:

I'm not sure if you guys know cotton or know what his job is, but there's these rules, like don't feed that motherfucker after midnight, don't get him wet and never, ever ask for pictures of anything that he's told you he has pictures of.

seriously. considering that i KNOW they're not appropriate for this board and I could theoretically get sued/fired for posting them, it ain't gonna happen. i have enough trouble looking at that shit in a work capacity, i don't need them creeping into my home or fake life. just take my word for it and thank me later.

Dusty Chalk · **Posted:** Mon Dec 12, 2005 3:46 am

Can I thank you now? Cause I have a clue. So thanks for not posting them.

Pretty Penises: A Poll Mandated By blacklakebeauty

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