Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 18 posts ] 

Board index : Music Talk : Rock/Pop

Author Message
 Post subject: Who is Kevin Federline?
PostPosted: Wed May 03, 2006 5:11 pm 
Offline
"Weddings, Parties, Anything…"
User avatar

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 2:55 pm
Posts: 836
Location: Annapolis, MD
A little something I wrote for KEXP today:

In my never-ending quest to provide you with the information you need on the artists that matter, today I’ll answer the question, “Who is Kevin Federline?” As you may know, Federline is occasionally referred to as Mr. Britney Spears. Well, that’s all about to change, bitch.

You see, Federline has been promoting his upcoming debut record, Playing With Fire and it sounds like we’re in for a treat. In a statement released through his publicist on Tuesday, Federline, billed as "performer and rapper," says: "The inspiration and meaning behind the title … is self explanatory, (because) my album is sure to set the dance floors across the world on fire!"

Wearing the ensemble that has become his signature look — wifebeater, jeans, ponytail, bling — Federline, says “I’ve been quiet for two years,” he says. “Now it’s my time to say, ‘Hey, I’m here, like it or not.’”

Federline says he’s been a bedroom rapper for years and actually got into dancing through hip-hop. Still, when he first stepped into a studio he worked on rock and alternative music before going back to his first love. He says, “I have other stuff I tried that actually sounds pretty good, alternative stuff, rock stuff, but I'm gonna go this route 'cause this is what I grew up with. This is what's in my blood. I don't know no different."

In fact, Federline says that sometimes, he “just gets hit with the beat upside your head and it's like, 'Put me in the booth right now. I don't even need to write nothing down. Let's do it.' That's it for me. It's like a rush, man."

Federline has already released his first single via the Internet, "PopoZao," which is slang for "nice ass" in Portuguese. But he told MTV that his "favorite joint" is the track "Down South," a crunk tune with the opening lyric, "Put your middle fingers up if you really don't give a f---." "Pot Roastin'" is a "booty joint" with sexed-up lyrics over a simplistic beat that includes the line "Between the cheeks/ Turn your little girls from sweet to freaks." Others songs recall his troubled teenage years, including "Untold Stories," which samples a Journey track. "Using your life situations and talking about 'em, that's what hip-hop is," he says. "I'm just a real person, man. That's it."

Most of his songs, however, are straight-up club tracks. "I want to be able to go out there and dance," he explains. "I don't want to give that up. That's a big piece of my life. So in order to do that, I need to get everyone else out there to shake their ass."

Unfortunately, new-wave trailblazer and apparently, party pooper, Thomas Dolby is considering taking legal action against K-Fed for violating copyright law by using his 1983 hit, "She Blinded Me With Science” in the future smash, "America's Most Hated." Dolby says he considered turning a blind eye to it before finding out the song had already aired on VH1. “It's like what Vanilla Ice did with 'Ice Ice Baby' [illegally sampling Queen and David Bowie's 'Under Pressure'], although I think Vanilla Ice is a superstar compared to this guy," says Dolby. Interestingly, Federline refers to the paparazzi that follow him and Spears as "Pavarottis" in the song. Opinions vary as to whether this was intentional.

But just who is this misunderstood genius? Let’s take a look.

He grew up in Fresno, California where he says, “A lot of just crazy, crazy sh*t went down, so I had to get myself out of that situation. Dancing brought me out of it.” Federline dropped out of high school to pursue his dancing career, and surpringly, has yet to complete his GED. He got his first breaks dancing backup for Pink and Justin Timberlake.

The relationship between Spears and Federline began with their meeting at a Hollywood club called Joseph's. Spears soon invited him on her European tour, The Onyx Hotel Tour, and she proposed to Federline on the plane ride back from the tour. On the night of September 18, 2004, two months after his second child was born to actress Shar Jackson, Federline and Spears engaged in a surprise wedding ceremony at a private home in Studio City, California. Although not legally binding, this "faux wedding" allowed the couple to finalize legal details of their marriage without the deadline of an upcoming ceremony. To celebrate their beautiful love, Spears gave Kevin a Ferrari 360 Spider that he repainted to read "Federline" instead of "Ferrari".

Federline and Spears have collaborated on a few tracks, but Federline is sitting on them for the same reason. "I think people need to get to know me a little bit more, and that way when we do something, people will respect it that much more," he said.

More good news - In fact, Federline's planning a promotional club tour, where he'll bring advance music for DJs to play so he can gauge fan reaction. "I'm excited about ... seeing the firsthand reaction of my fans listening to my songs for the first time," he says.

And he’s already putting together his live show! "That's going to be the best part of my album is watching me perform it," he says. "I've seen so many stage performances and so many shows, the ideas I have for this tour are ridiculous. It's gonna be something totally different. You don't see rappers dancing, and I'm dancing for sure. And it ain't gonna be no poppy dancing. The people I got with me are a bunch of street cats who are ridiculous."

While we look forward to that, we can read into the K-Fed mind with the lyrics from “American’s Most Hated”:

(Kevin Federline talking) Waitress, can I have another drink please? I'd like to formally introduce my self

Im the talk of the town
Thats the reason why they stare
4 karats in my ear
If you look see a glare
I’m - one of a kind
With a wonderful rhyme
Im skatin off in a 'rari
You'll get left behind
My raps fully automatic like an AR
Droppin - nothin but heat me an JR
I’m livin life in the fast lane
Then the cash came
Fire wont quit, still burnin like a gas flame
They watch me
So i duck and roll
Middle fingers still up sayin f*ck the globe
And my dawgs still down
We dont trust them hoes
I live life like a King
I was extra stoned
Kevin Federline -
I come tight with every rhyme
I built a kingdom down the street from pepperdine
This marijuana got me heavily sedated
Im Kevin Federline
America's most hated (what!)

(talking) Aww yea baby - JR mane, JR you there mane? Hey man, why dont you pass me that bottle over there guy

Im on the frontline
Dodgin cameras like the one time
Cant even chill in this california sunshine
But its okay, i got somethin for ya
Im handin out ass kickins like diplomas
Who the first to get it?
Ya know K Feds wit it
All that sh*t rappers talk about, I already did it
Im committed - to the game
The fames why I hustle
Lyrical exercise, workin every muscle on the double
Chief and commanda
Hand ya
Ass to ya in a basket wrapped in plastic
Im looney
All these model chicks wanna do me
Tabloids tried to screw me
Magazines try to kill me
But im nasty
Too f*ckin slick and sly
So high
I could prolly drop a sh*t and fly
You gonna need a big army
If you comin for me
K. Federline - I hit like tsunamis

(talking) whoo - yea baby, that sh*t is fire right there, you know what im talkin about? Lets get drunk to this one damn it. hoo, one more jack and coke bitch

Im bigga than you
Im sicka than you
Im here now
So they not gon pay attention to you
They listen to dude
I sizzle the booth
Im livin the truth
You f*ckas talk sh*t
Couldnt fit my shoes
I got my blue yankee fitted on
Watch to match
Little boys we can get it on
Watch your back
I got my name spreadin faster than crack
And thats just a fact
Sucked in Americas hate and now im passin it back
Uh
Who told this bastard that he cant rap
I got 50 mill.
I can do whatever I want
I dont need a deal
I can do whatever I want
I just keep it real
I can say whatever I want
Dont buy my sh*t
I bet your girl ridin to it
With her hair in the wind
And her mind on the new kid
The most anticipated
But still underated
Kevin Federline - Americas Most Hated (what!)

(talking) Ah - thank you baby. I got a tip for you after this too girl, we all gonna go swimmin with women...dont forget your swim suit.

Word.

_________________
When I spilled the milk It looked like the moon And I cried.


Back to top
 Profile WWW 
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed May 03, 2006 5:16 pm 
Offline
Whiskey Tango
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 26, 2004 9:08 pm
Posts: 21753
Location: REDLANDS
Awesome.

_________________
"To keep you is no benefit. To destroy you is no loss."


Back to top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed May 03, 2006 5:21 pm 
Offline
Go Platinum
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 26, 2004 1:20 pm
Posts: 7730
Location: Portland, OR
He's so gross.


Back to top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Who is Kevin Federline?
PostPosted: Wed May 03, 2006 5:21 pm 
Offline
Major Label Sell Out

Joined: Thu Dec 02, 2004 12:35 pm
Posts: 1997
Location: H-Town
KFed Wrote:
Dont buy my sh*t


Word.

_________________
frosted Wrote:
But, Juice, since yr both batshit and guilty, I guess s'alright.


Back to top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed May 03, 2006 5:24 pm 
Offline
The Great American Songbook

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 10:24 pm
Posts: 4584
Location: dystopia parkway
i want to just combine the previous three posts and make them my own.

_________________
Once she loved a boy. But he did not love her.
His name was Jun. Disillusioned she tried to forget.
She left everything and traveled to the other world.
But life was like a dream.
A series of meaningless movement.


Back to top
 Profile WWW 
 
 Post subject: Re: Who is Kevin Federline?
PostPosted: Wed May 03, 2006 5:27 pm 
Offline
TEH MACHINE
User avatar

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 3:28 pm
Posts: 16684
Location: Jiggin' for Yanks
djdan Wrote:
More good news - In fact, Federline's planning a promotional club tour, where he'll bring advance music for DJs to play so he can gauge fan reaction. "I'm excited about ... seeing the firsthand reaction of my fans listening to my songs for the first time," he says.


"Hundreds reported dead in wave of massive brain hemorrhages in dance clubs across US"

_________________
All I can say is, go on and bleed.


Back to top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed May 03, 2006 5:34 pm 
Offline
Go Platinum
User avatar

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 8:37 pm
Posts: 8889
Location: Lincoln, Nebraska USA
This guy personifies everything that is wrong with america and why we are hated. His commercial success will ruin all we at Obner have been doing for the last decade or so. I hope he knocks Britney up a few more times and they lose all their money. I'd love to see them living in one of those FEMA trailers in about a decade on some VH1 behind the music special.


Back to top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed May 03, 2006 5:35 pm 
Offline
Go Platinum
User avatar

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 8:37 pm
Posts: 8889
Location: Lincoln, Nebraska USA
Also When did being a backup dancer become a free ride to a record deal?

_________________
Rock 'n Roll: The most brutal, ugly, desperate, vicious form of expression it has been my misfortune to hear.
Frank Sinatra


Back to top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed May 03, 2006 5:52 pm 
Offline
frostingspoon

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 1:07 pm
Posts: 12618
this guy turned 0 talent into marrying a star, getting rich, becoming famous, getting a record deal, and getting a ferrari with his name on it. not too shabby, if you think about it.

props kfed. props.

_________________
dumpjack: "I haven't liked anything he's done so far, but I'll still listen."


Back to top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed May 03, 2006 6:00 pm 
Offline
TEH MACHINE
User avatar

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 3:28 pm
Posts: 16684
Location: Jiggin' for Yanks
Of course this also brought to mind:

Family Guy Wrote:
Peter: This is worse then that time when I was Kevin Federline's magic mirror.
(Flash to Kevin's apartment)
Kevin Federline: Magic mirror, how can I look like a douchebag today?
Peter: Well Kevin, um first of all, I would say don't shave and don't shower.
Kevin: Ok, I won't.
Peter: And you just got out of bed, right?
Kevin: Yeah.
Peter: Uh, I would say just go ahead and wear that tank top all day.
Kevin: Um...ok.
Peter: So let's see, we covered the hygiene, no collared shirts... um... oh! Don't forget to walk around with an undeserved sense of accomplishment.

_________________
All I can say is, go on and bleed.


Back to top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed May 03, 2006 6:28 pm 
Offline
Garage Band

Joined: Tue Oct 26, 2004 5:01 pm
Posts: 596
Location: Richmond, VA
Someone send the poor boy to Wiggas Anonymous. :?

_________________
Image


Back to top
 Profile WWW 
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed May 03, 2006 10:13 pm 
Offline
Indie Debut

Joined: Mon Jul 11, 2005 12:04 pm
Posts: 1580
Location: Sri Lanka
Kevin Federline Wrote:
Little boys we can get it on


Even in context I'm not sure this sounds too good.


Back to top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Who is Kevin Federline?
PostPosted: Wed May 03, 2006 11:47 pm 
Offline
"Weddings, Parties, Anything…"
User avatar

Joined: Sat Jul 09, 2005 11:02 pm
Posts: 963
Location: 10 stops from Coney Island baby!
djdan Wrote:


Im the talk of the town
Thats the reason why they stare
4 karats in my ear
If you look see a glare
I’m - one of a kind
With a wonderful rhyme
Im skatin off in a 'rari
You'll get left behind
My raps fully automatic like an AR
Droppin - nothin but heat me an JR
I’m livin life in the fast lane
Then the cash came
Fire wont quit, still burnin like a gas flame
They watch me
So i duck and roll
Middle fingers still up sayin f*ck the globe
And my dawgs still down
We dont trust them hoes
I live life like a King
I was extra stoned
Kevin Federline -
I come tight with every rhyme
I built a kingdom down the street from pepperdine
This marijuana got me heavily sedated
Im Kevin Federline
America's most hated (what!)

Aww yea baby - JR mane, JR you there mane? Hey man, why dont you pass me that bottle over there guy

Im on the frontline
Dodgin cameras like the one time
Cant even chill in this california sunshine
But its okay, i got somethin for ya
Im handin out ass kickins like diplomas
Who the first to get it?
Ya know K Feds wit it
All that sh*t rappers talk about, I already did it
Im committed - to the game
The fames why I hustle
Lyrical exercise, workin every muscle on the double
Chief and commanda
Hand ya
Ass to ya in a basket wrapped in plastic
Im looney
All these model chicks wanna do me
Tabloids tried to screw me
Magazines try to kill me
But im nasty
Too f*ckin slick and sly
So high
I could prolly drop a sh*t and fly
You gonna need a big army
If you comin for me
K. Federline - I hit like tsunamis

whoo - yea baby, that sh*t is fire right there, you know what im talkin about? Lets get drunk to this one damn it. hoo, one more jack and coke bitch

Im bigga than you
Im sicka than you
Im here now
So they not gon pay attention to you
They listen to dude
I sizzle the booth
Im livin the truth
You f*ckas talk sh*t
Couldnt fit my shoes
I got my blue yankee fitted on
Watch to match
Little boys we can get it on
Watch your back
I got my name spreadin faster than crack
And thats just a fact
Sucked in Americas hate and now im passin it back
Uh
Who told this bastard that he cant rap
I got 50 mill.
I can do whatever I want
I dont need a deal
I can do whatever I want
I just keep it real
I can say whatever I want
Dont buy my sh*t
I bet your girl ridin to it
With her hair in the wind
And her mind on the new kid
The most anticipated
But still underated
Kevin Federline - Americas Most Hated (what!)

(talking) Ah - thank you baby. I got a tip for you after this too girl, we all gonna go swimmin with women...dont forget your swim suit.

Word.


ooooh...my new sig!

_________________
"A part from the smoking and the drinking...
and the vulgar mother and the verbal diarrhea"


Back to top
 Profile WWWYIM 
 
 Post subject: Re: Who is Kevin Federline?
PostPosted: Wed May 03, 2006 11:55 pm 
Offline
frostingspoon
User avatar

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 11:24 am
Posts: 17359
Location: cogthrobber
Quote:
Others songs recall his troubled teenage years, including "Untold Stories," which samples a Journey track


I love this sentence.


Back to top
 Profile WWW 
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu May 04, 2006 12:05 am 
Offline
Go Platinum
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2005 12:58 pm
Posts: 7205
Location: Kzoo, Michigan
Promethium Wrote:
Also When did being a backup dancer become a free ride to a record deal?


it didnt....but being married to a "successful" selling artist did....

_________________
"When the music hits me, I feel no pain at all..."


Back to top
 Profile ICQ 
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu May 04, 2006 12:07 am 
Offline
Go Platinum
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2005 12:58 pm
Posts: 7205
Location: Kzoo, Michigan
Promethium Wrote:
This guy personifies everything that is wrong with america and why we are hated.


hmmm.......thats kind of a funny statement......you couldnt be more wrong..



christ there are worse cheese dick artists in europe......

_________________
"When the music hits me, I feel no pain at all..."


Back to top
 Profile ICQ 
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu May 04, 2006 12:09 am 
Offline
The Listerine Queen
User avatar

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 2:22 pm
Posts: 12677
Location: vermont
dnorwood Wrote:
He's so gross.


Back to top
 Profile YIM 
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 18 posts ] 

Board index : Music Talk : Rock/Pop


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 19 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Style by Midnight Phoenix & N.Design Studio
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group.