I've decided that i'm going to discuss 5 albums from my youth that had a major impact on my life. The impact of some of these albums may not seem major but they were to me and that's all that really matters.

***Note*** I just finished reading the first entry and i have to say that I laughed, I cried and i think i learned a little something about myself. Hopefully you'll do the same....well as long as you don't throw up i'll take that as a good sign.

The entries will happen in the order with which they entered my life and not the order of their importance.


1.) Def Leppard - Hysteria (released summer of 1987)

I don't have too many specific dates in mind when i think of this album but i do know that I watched MTV an awful lot around this time. I was heading into the 5th grade with two full years of cursive experience under my belt.....I was almost a man. Like everyone else in the country I was taken hostage by "Pour Some Sugar on Me". I didn't understand what the song meant but i knew that I wanted sugar poured on me and I wanted to play bass while wearing a microphone headpiece contraption. More hits from that album followed (hell, hits from that album may have preceded it for all i know...I was 9) and i knew i had to have it. I began lobbying my mother (a skill that was put to good use the year I represented Zimbabwe in the model United Nations) to purchase the album for me. She declined for months until I had finally pestered her enough that relenting to my request was her best option. Sure enough that dream was crushed when my mother got a good look at the album cover. "Keep dreaming" were the words that stick out most from that traumatic event....well, that and "quit your sissy crying". Less than 2 years later she'd buy my NWA's "Straight Out of Compton" album........I was 11 years old.

Impact #1 - My interest in 80's pop metal never took off (Thank God)
Impact #2 - I learned a valuable life lesson - If you beg a woman long enough she'll finally relent and give into your demands......just don't let her see the cover of Hysteria because then the deal will be off.
Impact #3 - I rub granulated sugar on my chest every night before I go to bed. That way i'm always hot and sticky sweet....just not from my head down to my feet.....mainly the chest region.


http://www.myspace.com/dhrjericho

Excellent post.

Even if that's one of the dumbest songs ever recorded.

Probably #1 on the list of strip bar hall of fame songs.

is that the one with 'armegeddon it' on it? what the hell were those dudes talking about? that band is missing 1 arm and like 3.5 brains.

Awesome. I'm taking this as my new sig. Thrillhouse, you're 2/2 now.

Props.

I laughed.

Nope. That would be Warrant's "Cherry Pie".


I was in 6th grade or something when this came out. I was on my way to basketball camp that summer and my mom told me that she would by me a tape to listen in my walkman for that week. I had to decide between "Hysteria" or Poison's "Open Up and Say Ahhhh".

Poison won out and I've regretted it ever since.Although many a yard was mowed to that tape and I totally bonded with this girl who went to my church who was into Poison. She had the huge hair, white denim jacket and everything. Hawt.

Did you see on that VH1 metal thing about how the record company wanted him to write a marketable song, and so Jani Lane wrote that, and he now wants to shoot himself over it? I would hate to have that song on my soul.

But one of the most awesome dumbest songs.

I seriously love this album. It's pure nostalgia for me, unlike Pyromania, which is just plain a great goddamn album. Back then, Hysteria was the best thing I'd ever heard and would ever hear, I just knew it, and I listened to the thing every damned day, including even that regrettable "Excitable" (a few years later I'd hear that used to back a cheerleading dance routine at a high school pep rally and was initially offended . . . and then had to admit that it really was a fucking dance song afterall.) I still have a really soft spot for a lot of this album, but I'll be happy if I never hear "Love Bites" again, that's for sure. Blech. I think "Animal" is an overlooked classic in the Def Leppard "canon."

I was confounded how he picked that song as any worse than any of their other stuff.

#2) Public Enemy – It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back (1988)

My sister is 5 ½ years older than me and is my only sibling. My parents probably felt that my sister needed a companion but took their sweet time producing me. Growing up I’d ridicule my sisters' music choices, but only after my parents would ridicule her music first. I distinctly remember my parents teasing my sister about INXS. My parents would constantly tell my sister that Michael Hutchence needed to wash his hair. They did this so often that I had initially thought that “Need You Tonight” was about a good shampooing. At some point around this time I started to think my sister was pretty cool and would no longer instantly dismiss her taste in music and movies (at least on the inside….i’d still try to annoy and mock her out loud as every young brother is required to do in accordance with the Nag Hammadi Corpus). One day I was in the car with my sister and her friend Jennifer Tinkle when they decided to throw on PE’s “It Takes a Nation”. I was mesmerized. I had listened to and purchased rap music prior to this (I still have my 7in of RUN-DMC’s “Walk this Way” and my mistake purchase of A Salt with a Deadly Pepa – I’m still furious that I didn’t buy the album with “Push It” on it which was my intention.) so I was familiar with the genre. However, this was different. There was anger, passion, humor and Flavor Flav. I only had a dubbed copy of most of that album until I got England when I was finally able to purchase it myself. When I threw that cassette into my little walkmen I was in heaven ( I always wondered if they released a different version of the album in England to include the British Concert footage at the Hammersmith Odeon – it was years later after I bought the CD version in the States that I realized I didn’t have an especially cool version of “It Takes a Nation”) and my world changed forever. I became a world class dancer overnight. No one would tell me this but I could see it in their eyes…..they feigned horror when deep down I knew it was a combination of admiration and jealousy. Along with my insanely sweet dance moves I began to embrace the culture of hip-hop and the social consciousness of the music. My quest for the most starter jackets from the most random sports teams and colleges began…..UNLV was my first while the Orlando Magic, Green Bay Packers (a team I truly liked), Texas Longhorns (no one else had one for good reason), Wisconsin Badgers, Tamba Bay Lightning, New York Knicks, Milwaukee Bucks and others followed throughout the years. I began decking myself out in sports clothing and gold chains (small and uncool gold chains) but fortunately never took on the hip-hop vernacular (prevelant in many movies that show white kids that like rap music) because deep down I always realized I was an undersized white kid who didn’t need to draw additional ire when my true focus in school was to avoid getting beat up. I did however yell “Bass in your Face” to my mother a few times which swiftly led to a slap across the face. I truly believe that the PE logo on my favorite shirt in middle school was used by the bigger kids that loved metal (if that’s what you’d call what they listened to…..they weren't exactly listening to Slayer) as a target for punching purposes. Some kids took my new discovery of hip-hop culture so personally that they’d harass me by calling my racist names. This abuse showed me that the subjects PE addressed in song where not only relevant but far reaching. My newfound social awareness led to my ill-fated decision to not only purchase a Malcolm X hat but to actually wear it to school and out in other public places. Malcolm X was surely turning in his grave at the thought of a 4’ 10” white boy wearing his name sake with a Starter UNLV jacket while busting out a multitude of hip-hop dances (including the running man, the flavor flav dance, the Ed Lover dance and of course the running man again). I went into what I like to call my hip-hop hibernation period for the next few years until my sisters’ influence changed the course of my life again.

Impact #1 - Became a dancing legend and was namedropped on a few album liner notes (The Fast and Crafty Boyz album “Don’t Make Me Knit You a Sweater” and Government Distrust‘s album “Social Security is Wack”)

Impact #2 – My sister permanently earned Hero status in my life. Chuck D would later gain that status immediately after my purchase of Fear of a Black Planet.

Impact #3 – On any given day you can find me cold lampin. Sometimes with a pack of franks and a big bag of frito lays or other times with onion and garlic french fried potatoes. If you’re very lucky you may find me cold lampin with rolls and rolls of lifesavers.

"Don't Believe the Hype!"

I guess Hysteria would be more nostalgic for me if I weren't already 21 when it came out.

There's probably some 70's nonsense I'd defend on similiar grounds.

But Public Enemy, so good.

My parents used to keep a change bowl/mug in their bedroom that was chock full of change. It contained more quarters (percentage wise) than any other change receptacle in any other North American household. I, lacking in moral fiber, thought that the discarding of my parents change into these assortment of dishes entitled me to use the change whenever I needed a fix (mostly baseball cards and candy). I took exorbitant amounts of money over the years….my guess is that I took anywhere from $50 to $100,000 worth of quarters and dimes (nickels weren’t worth the hassle). I was an evil genius. Invincibility soon set in and I decided to take the next step in my life of crime and venture into my sisters’ room. I could be mistaken but I ‘m pretty sure that when I used to get caught in my sisters’ room without her permission I’d get a severe beating. My sister would utilized the cunning “pin to the ground and pummel technique” which is always effective when you’re over a foot taller and 5 years older. Despite the risks I ventured into my sisters room and took two items that would help mold me into the person I am today. My booty? Licensed to Ill and Mothers Milk. For some reason these albums appealed to me greatly. I found both albums to be quite hilarious and both would cause/force me to start dancing/flailing. In the early stages of my dancing career (as witnessed by John Peel – according to my sister) I would move to the center of the dance floor, insert my hands into my pockets and bend one knee, straighten and repeat. That was my move. That’s the only move I had for years until Run DMC entered my life and my embarrassing foray into break dancing occurred. The Beasties and Chili’s got my butt moving, not just my knee. Songs like Knock Me Down and Brass Monkey would cause a tiny freak-out in my brain that would require me to move as many limbs and body parts in the opposite direction as possible. I pretty sure that nobody ever thought my dancing was very cool looking but I often tell people it was how I thought Lydia Lunch would dance to Foghat. That never really impressed anyone either. The next and most damaging effect of that music was that it gave me the bright idea that I could rap. If the Chili Peppers could ramble on about the Lakers and the Beasties could discuss subject matter near and dear to my heart (whiffle ball, pork and beans) then maybe I could rap as well. Years later while living in England the stars aligned for me to record my first and only rap song. I heard Nice & Smooth’s “Sometimes I Rhyme Slow” and it gave me one of the dumbest ideas of my life. My parents just happened to own a copy of Tracy Chapman’s self-titled debut album which contained the hit “Fast Car”. Fast Car just happened to have a 20 second outro of the famous guitar riff. My buddy Anthony and I decided that we’d dub that 20 second piece of “Fast Car” onto another tape then rap over it with clever rhymes. By clever rhymes I mean the stupidest unfunny rhymes ever committed to tape (granted I haven’t heard the Kevin Federline album yet). We wrote some rhymes about our current girlfriends and our suave intentions towards them. We probably added a few “gangsta” lyrics to give us street credibility (England isn’t all tea and biscuits) and make it one of the most laughable recordings ever. Not only did we go through with the recording but we decided to give our only copies of the recording to our girlfriends at the time. I think their parents heard the song and attempted to have us deported back to the US. I can never run for public office in this country for two reasons……the fact that a copy of this recording may still be out there is one of the reasons (the other will be addressed later when I discuss a different album). A few years ago my sister informed me that my parents knew we were taking the change and continued to fill it because it was better than us harassing them all the time for money. My life of crime was a sham…….except for those two albums.


Impact #1 – Recorded one of the most unimaginative rap songs of all-time.

Impact #2 – Had a hit ordered on my life by a Lutheran Pastor. (I have no proof of this)

Impact #3 – Despite all the odds stacked against me I avoided becoming a crazed frat boy. Give most pre-teen boys those two albums and watch them blossom into stereotypical frat boys…..but not this guy. That shows that I had mental toughness…..and skinny arms. Go me.


This entry counts as one album. If you don’t like it I only have one thing to say to you: “You like men and I like beers”.

Upon further reflection I’ve decided these albums can’t be listed in the order with which they affected me….there are many reasons for this change but the main one is that I already screwed up the order…..ok that’s the only reason.

I don’t remember the exact date my sister handed me a dubbed cassette of Pavement’s “Slanted and Enchanted” but it was sometime during the beginning of my freshman year of high school in England (the land of disappointing international football…..i’m not bitter). I was still heavily into my rap phase at the time but my sister had been able to introduce various bands throughout my hip-hop “journey” that had gradually opened my eyes to a variety of styles and sounds (i.e. Pixies and the Smiths spring to mind). Not only did my sister introduce new bands and sounds but the radio did as well (shocking, but it was England after all…..at least they mix decent tunes in with the drivel), so I heard bands like the Stone Roses, Happy Mondays, the Prodigy, and Blur. Slanted and Enchanted really affected me and became a staple alongside many of my favorite rap albums. The music was gritty, lo-fi, abrasive, and quirky while still being melodic and catchy.

Certain songs really hit close to home. “Zurich is Stained” in particular was eerily similar (at least in title) to the time I soiled my family couch…...wait forget I ever mentioned that. What……like you’ve never destroyed a couch cushion with some fecal matter. Ummmmmmm. My parents went through a phase of naming all of our living room furniture after cities in Switzerland. Why, I have no idea but I’ve always hoped it was because they’ve opened various Swiss bank accounts that’ll be handed over to me someday. Probably not. I’m not going to get into gory details of the incident but lets just say that Geneva the Lazy Boy, Lucerne the ottoman and Zug the bean bag were quite happy I chose to lounge on Zurich the couch that fateful afternoon. I was banned from sitting on Zurich for years after that incident (seriously though, when the cushion is flipped over nobody has a clue about “the stain”). When I first heard “Zurich is Stained” it really touched on the melancholy of me being banned from Zurich (in this case the staining of Zurich was my fault).

Other songs had titles that tricked my mind initially. “In the Mouth a Desert” was obviously going to be a song about a delicious treat being consumed or maybe a scathing attack on obesity in America. The fact that the word was desert and not dessert didn’t hit me for a while. I was going to write and record my second rap tune based on this experience. It was to be titled “In the Mouth a Dessert (probably a fudgsicle)” and it was going to explore the tastiness of a fudgsicle while growing up as a “gangsta”. I was once again going to sample Tracy Chapman’s “Fast Car” to drive home my complete lack of creativity. The fact that the key line to my chorus was “Yeah I’ve got a tasty fudgsicle, no you can’t have my bicycle” really solidified that I had no business writing music. On so many levels this song was a really bad idea. Using a fudgsicle as my choice of a tasty treat would certainly have raised a few eyebrows and I already had a tough enough time with the ladies that I didn’t need to add this dubious song into the mix. Looking back maybe I should have picked “cherry pie” as my choice of dessert and really caught the attention of the ladies…………in reality there was no way in hell I was going to be associated in any way with Warrant….ladies or not.


“Summer Babe” also had a huge impact on my outlook on the ladies with lyrics like “she’s eating her fingers like they’re just another meal” and “she’s mixing cocktails with a plastic tipped cigar”. Other album lyrics like “Lies and Betrayals, fruit covered nails, electricity and lust….won’t break the door” and “she’s got the radioactive and it makes me feel ok, I don’t feel ok” also impacted my view of the opposite sex. High School girls were no longer desirable enough for this guy, I needed more. According to Pavement I apparently needed a bulimic boozer who smoked cigars and was somewhat schizophrenic (or maybe they meant for us to avoid those girls). That’s probably the main reason I didn’t date anyone during my entire time in high school..….well it certainly wasn’t the fact that I was scrawny, pale, and had the most pathetic facial hair (or lack thereof, unless of course you consider tiny patches of squirrelly hair dotting my face as “facial hair”). I honestly believe that facial hair would have done a lot for my love life in high school, well that along with clear skin, muscles (of any kind), a wicked haircut and better clothes…….but excluding all of that, I was a mustache away from being a complete stud.

Impacts:

1. Solidified the fact that I have no career in rap….even after already realizing that after my first attempt at the genre.
2. My record collection gradually went from 95% rap at the age of 14 (out of 40 albums) to 10% rap today (out of 1500 albums).
3. Haven’t shaved my chin hair in about 8-9 years.
4. Love indie rock.
5. I hate Switzerland and most neutral colors.

make it brown and runny