I want Eddie Van Fucking Halen to get off the couch, pick up a guitar, and somehow come back to glory and rock my face off.

I just saw some dude from Thin Lizzy do The Boys Are Back In Town on the Tube, and the riffage got me thinking... I'd love to see him come back with good material, somehow, and absolutely embarrass/astound a whole new generation of kids.

You know he could do it.

I thought he didn't have a tongue

Having no tongue should not prevent you from doing a wicked guitar solo.


I am in agreement with the captain on this. Just as long as he steers clear of that guy from Extreme...probably DLR too.

I just know he's got some mileage left in those fingers. He's one end of the dial for guitar possibilities, embodied. He made it look easy.

If i understand correctly, his son is gonna be one humdinger of a guitarist too if he keeps it up. But yeah, he needs to make a come-back lesser people have done it, and i need to hear him putting some modern players in their places.

I miss competency in general on guitar. I don't want the levels of excess wankery we had in the late 80's, but some of it once in a while would hit the spot. Solos have gone to live in Country music.

that makes me shudder...

I wouldn't mind if I never had to hear or see him again. His music hasn't been good since 1982 or so, and he's a huge prick.

...eh. Catch Dwight Yoakum, or shit even someone down at the level of the Two Dollar Pistols, and you'll see (among other good things like songwriting) some amazing guitar work, most importantly a lot of good taste - because taste is much, much harder to come by. It makes me realize how few people in my more preferred genre actually use the instrument to its ability.

Agreed. Also reason #1 why I havent hooked up with any like minded musicians since you guys moved up north.

Your whole EVH theory, by the way, sounds like one of those harebrained schemes we used to come up with at the Gravity Pub. You sure you arent drinking?

That's funny as hell, though for perhaps a different reason. As I progress through the dry month, I keep doing things I used to attribute to a couple of beers.

Enlightening.

No, he doesn't have one of his hips. Or Valerie Bertinelli.

EVH is done...good riddance, did anyone hear those craptastic "songs" he did recently for that porno soundtrack...basically him wanking harder than the guys on screen during a money shot.

you know why they called it the "brown sound"...cause it sounded like fucking shit.

I refuse to believe he's doing guitar wankery for pron soundtracks.



The metal gods do not allow it.

The metal gods also do not allow Vince Neil sex-tapes, but somehow that got out.

Further, no sex-tape surfaced, from out the VH1 Surreal Life, Season 6 (?), featuring C.C. DeVille & Andrea Lowell (Playboy model, but not hot enough for Playmate treatment), so, strike two.

Strike three? Six albums from Shaquille O'Neal. Granted, not metal -- but somehow, the metal gods should have intervened on this one.