So this might drag one for a sec. But I don't really want to talk about it until tonight...

So my gf and her Mom don't get along very well, haven't for months. I just met her Mom about a week ago. Really nice lady, but after hearing stories about her from my gf, I understand why they don't talk too much.

Anyway, gf's gramdmother just went into the hospital on Tuesday morning with pneumonia. She 84 I think. Her Mom called me that morning and I went over there and stayed all day with thier family. Keep in mind that I just met some of them on Easter, and now I'm standing beside what we all thought was their dying mother not two days later. Pretty wierd for me.

The last 2 days have been looking very good. She has looked a lot better and has been talking and smiling and laughing with all of us. But the nights haven't been too great. She gets really restless and tries to get out of bed and tells all of us that she just wants to go home. But yesterday when we left she was eating a little and we kind of took the sassyness as a good sign that she might be getting better.

So I'm sitting at the computer a little while ago and the gf's mother knocks on the window, which I told her to do if she wanted to talk or anything (gf and I live together). She comes in and says she wants to talk. She says that gramdmother has taken a turn for the worse and the doctors aren't very optimistic that she'll be leaving the hospital alive. So my gf's Mom told me that she has decided to stop the antibiotics on Sat. morning if she hasn't gotten any better by then.

So she's telling me this and crying her eyes out and saying things like "I know that she's really close to you and I thought I'd come by and tell you all of this so you can tell her when she gets home from work". I don't know what to say except "Absolutely I'll tell her right when she gets in". I mean, it was the sadest thing I've ever seen. It was like it wasn't even happening. Like I was watching it on TV or something.

I've never sat and watched anyone die before. It's something that I don't think I could take if it were happening to someone in my family. But I'm trying to be there for my gf and her family as much as possible. It's just really surreal, ya know?

I'm not asking for any advise or anything. Just wanted to kind of get it off the chest. I don't want to call her (gf) up at work and tell her this stuff. It'll just upset her. But I wanted to tell "someone". Thanks for "listening".

Edit: Cap'N- Obviously don't say anything to her at work (Cap'N works with the gf). Thanks.

i know where you're coming from. i watched my mother die from cancer 2 years ago.

just be there for her and her family. i'm sure it's rough having to see that they're not getting along, but just be there....for both of them.

I figured on the silence, including not telling my wife (also works here... it's a tangled mess).

Damn, man. That's surreal, for sure. And she was just doing better! That is god-awful. You're carrying a pretty heavy load lately, with all this and the new job. But you're doing the right thing, letting it out, I think. Let me know if there's ANYTHING I can do. I mean that.

Been through this more times than I want to think about.

You're doing a very good thing for your girlfriend.

I don't understand why she would do stop the antibiotics.

Hang in there.

I listened.

I have recent experience of hospitals as you probably know and it's fucked up. My brother was in intensive care for four days. The ward is locked and they only let people in one at a time at certain times so they had a little waiting room next to the ward. You'd get to know other families that had relatives in there and you heard a lot of sad stories. Then the next day the people you had been talking too wouldn't be there. You were like "Shit, did their mum die or did they get moved out of IC or what?"

Best to you and your girlfriend's family, Busty. Lots of love cross-pond.

That happened with my gf's grandfather last year. He was somewhat delusional at the end but i was of the few people he recognized. It was strange. Eventually the family stopped dialysis and he passed away a few days later. It was a weird experience that i can't really explain.

Best of luck Busty.

I'm sending you my best... not fun, I know.