Alright, $50 is in the bag, and $50 or $100 more is forthcoming when I next get paid.
Sept 8, 2005
Senator <> LooGAR
123 Gar St.
Garbile, AL
Honorable Senator LooGAR,
Thank you for taking the time to donate your ill gotten cash to those worse off than you, we as a nation are going to have to call on my friends for the support that is needed to win.
I would like to also thank you for committing to give $50 or $100 more toward our efforts. We Joey Crack's corporate whore company has taken time out of it's busy schedule of ruining people's lives to match donations, so your cheap ass can give half what you would normally have given, and not feel too bad about it.
We need this money urgently to give it away to black people. Though we know you hate them, it is better to just give them money, than have one of them show up on your doorstep with a shotgun, or worse, expect to stay with you, or other respectable white members of your community. This should delay your impending meal of hot lead by at least a week.
It is our job as citizens to take up the slack for the government. Be thankful you are in a position to give, and remember, if the next tragedy is a chemical, biological, or nuclear attack, the slow response time will not be nearly as crippling to our efforts, because we will be bulldozing bodies, instead of making people stay in ill-fitting and underfunded shelters, where they will raped, beaten and otherwise taken advantage of.
Yours is Jesus,
The American Red Cross
_________________ Throughout his life, from childhood until death, he was beset by severe swings of mood. His depressions frequently encouraged, and were exacerbated by, his various vices. His character mixed a superficial Enlightenment sensibility for reason and taste with a genuine and somewhat Romantic love of the sublime and a propensity for occasionally puerile whimsy.
harry Wrote: I understand that you, of all people, know this crisis and, in your own way, are working to address it. You, the madras-pantsed julip-sipping Southern cracker and me, the oldman hippie California fruit cake are brothers in the struggle to save our country.
FT Wrote: LooGAR (the straw that stirs the drink)
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