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bort
 Post subject: my fat upstairs neighbors won't stop having sex
PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 8:10 am 
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good grief.

bort

ps - i'm up too early.

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Dalen
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 8:12 am 
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don't be so jealous.
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no guru
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 8:34 am 
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Best Onion thread title of the year.
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splates
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 8:56 am 
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Forever moderating your hearts
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join them
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chowgurt
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 9:13 am 
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Dalen Wrote:
don't be so jealous.

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Sketch
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 9:55 am 
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Fat people need love too, man.
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no guru
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 9:55 am 
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You forgot the Hurley pic with that, Colin.
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bort
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 10:06 am 
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also here's another thing, it was like 5am til 7:30 that they were going at it. they have two boys, ages 8 and 10. we all live in small two bedroom apartments. those kids must have been woken up by the bed rattling and wall knocking. isn't that weird? maybe i'm just on the prude side or something but at least wait until 7:50am and the kids go out to the school bus stop.

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Elvis Fu
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 10:10 am 
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Who else is gonna hold the video camera?

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HaqDiesel
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 10:22 am 
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they'll be done when they're done, bort.
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Aural Fixation
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 10:31 am 
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I wish I lived upstairs.
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bort
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 10:48 am 
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HaqDiesel Wrote:
they'll be done when they're done, bort.


see this is weird too because i could've sworn i heard the shower going upstairs, but the bed was still rocking. it's all a very weird day today.

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Stop Breathin'
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 10:53 am 
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I'm sorry, but I seriously doubt that they have the cardio fitness to go at it for 2.5 hours. Maybe the kids got in on a little tag team action and dad took a shower. Wait a sec, you're not in West Virginia.

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I'd probably just drink myself to death. More so, I mean.


"Hey Judas. I know you've made a grave mistake.
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Kerre Li (xix)
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 10:55 am 
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the gay couple above us go at it every morning.
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Stop Breathin'
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 10:57 am 
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Mrs. Neuro Wrote:
the gay couple above us go at it every morning.


for 2.5 hours? geez, which one of them wears the Depends?

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Cotton Wrote:
I'd probably just drink myself to death. More so, I mean.


"Hey Judas. I know you've made a grave mistake.
Hey Peter. You've been pretty sweet since Easter break."

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andyfest
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 10:58 am 
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Fu Wrote:
Who else is gonna hold the video camera?


:lol: + :cry:
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Aural Fixation
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 11:02 am 
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Stop Breathin' Wrote:
I'm sorry, but I seriously doubt that they have the cardio fitness to go at it for 2.5 hours.

Speak for yourself. We, fat people...ok, maybe just me...wait, nevermind. TMI.
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Stop Breathin'
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 11:42 am 
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Aural Fixation Wrote:
Stop Breathin' Wrote:
I'm sorry, but I seriously doubt that they have the cardio fitness to go at it for 2.5 hours.

Speak for yourself. We, fat people...ok, maybe just me...wait, nevermind. TMI.


OK. I don't have the cardio fitness to go at it for 2.5 hours.

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because you're empty, and I'm empty

Cotton Wrote:
I'd probably just drink myself to death. More so, I mean.


"Hey Judas. I know you've made a grave mistake.
Hey Peter. You've been pretty sweet since Easter break."

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Cotton
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 11:44 am 
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frosted Wrote:
Best Onion thread title of the year.


no, that would be "Man's Prayers to God Loaded with Reverse Psychology"
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Twilightkid
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 11:47 am 
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2.5 hours?!?! Wow...

That includes the 2 hour 24 minutes of cuddling afterwards right?

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OPA!
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 11:49 am 
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That's not too long. It takes me over 30 minutes just to lube.
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MontyTheMongoose
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 12:08 pm 
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Sketch Wrote:
Fat people need love too, man.


Yes, they do, but we do not need, nor should we have, to be able to visualize the coital act of two fat people. Further, I say this as a fat (morbidly-obese, truth be told) individual. So, I'm not being mean... Erm, I'm not an hypocrite, at least.

FAT PEOPLE HAVING SEX IS JUST DISGUSTING. They can do it, but be as discreet as six hundred pounds hitting itself can be.

... Oh. Even more disgusting. When a fat chick scores a thin dude, or a fat dude scores a thin chick. Seriously, what are thin people thinking?

PEOPLE NEED TO FUCK THEIR OWN BODY-SHAPES.
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Flying Rabbit
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 12:15 pm 
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Stop Breathin' Wrote:
Wait a sec, you're not in West Virginia.


wow, calling the kettle black now aren't we?

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ayah
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 12:18 pm 
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knoblauch, p.i. Wrote:
Sketch Wrote:
Fat people need love too, man.


Yes, they do, but we do not need, nor should we have, to be able to visualize the coital act of two fat people. Further, I say this as a fat (morbidly-obese, truth be told) individual. So, I'm not being mean... Erm, I'm not an hypocrite, at least.

FAT PEOPLE HAVING SEX IS JUST DISGUSTING. They can do it, but be as discreet as six hundred pounds hitting itself can be.

... Oh. Even more disgusting. When a fat chick scores a thin dude, or a fat dude scores a thin chick. Seriously, what are thin people thinking?

PEOPLE NEED TO FUCK THEIR OWN BODY-SHAPES.


are you high?
distance is the only thing that keeps me from running over there and beating you down with a rolled up newspaper.

an aside: i loathe the word fat. it has turned into one of the cruelest words in america.


Last edited by ayah on Wed Apr 05, 2006 12:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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MontyTheMongoose
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 12:23 pm 
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KILLFILED

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ayah Wrote:
knoblauch, p.i. Wrote:
Sketch Wrote:
Fat people need love too, man.


Yes, they do, but we do not need, nor should we have, to be able to visualize the coital act of two fat people. Further, I say this as a fat (morbidly-obese, truth be told) individual. So, I'm not being mean... Erm, I'm not an hypocrite, at least.

FAT PEOPLE HAVING SEX IS JUST DISGUSTING. They can do it, but be as discreet as six hundred pounds hitting itself can be.

... Oh. Even more disgusting. When a fat chick scores a thin dude, or a fat dude scores a thin chick. Seriously, what are thin people thinking?

PEOPLE NEED TO FUCK THEIR OWN BODY-SHAPES.


are you high?
distance is the only thing that keeps me from running over there and beating you down with a rolled up newspaper.

an aside: i loathe the word fat.


Then loathe me... Oh, wait, you (all) already do.

Problem solved, innit?

Signed,

The fat kid that the even fatter people he's known have been able to pigeonhole into the position of Lord High Fats, Obesest of the Rotund... Got-damn! I still want to fucking rip their hearts out and feed them to wolves.
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