So this morning, after my lady friend left my house to pick her sister up at the airport, and I worked a little bit in the vegetable garden, I went to drop off a videotape at the movie store (Loverboy, 1989). After that I went to buy some killer breakfast tacos at Mi Madre's. I'm sitting there in this 5 table cafe, drinking my coffee, and who walks in but my ex-wife and her boy, the one she cheated on me with last November before I became the monger y'all know now. It's the first time I laid eyes on him since the party we both met him at right after last Halloween. She looks straight at me, but didn't see me (she's never seen me with a mustache before).

I say, "Hey ex wife." Twice. She realizes I'm talking to her, looks at me, says "Oh my God. Um, hi." He studiously avoids eye contact or acknowledgement of my exitence. She and the guy go, sit down not more than ten feet away from me, and order their brunch, while I drink my coffee and eat my breakfast alone, aside from a couple of phone calls.

I get up, nice and full, and go pay my tab . . . AND I PICKED UP THEIRS, TOO.


What is my logic here? All I know is that it made me feel good. Was it an olive branch? Was it some weird self-satisfying fuck you? I don't know. I just know that I was highly amused by the idea of them going up to pay and the girl behind the counter saying "Honey, your ex husband picked up y'all's check", like I asked her to.

I have weird ideas sometimes.

np: Rolling Stones - Let it Bleed - "Let it Bleed"

I wondering about the logic behind renting a Patrick Dempsey movie.

i dont see any logic in it..

It's probably one of the other, but if you can't guess which, nobody else is going to be able to either. You seem more like an option (A) than an option (B) guy, however.

When the girl you go home with demands Patrick Dempsey, you rent the movie, fall asleep during it, then wake up during the credits, claim to have enjoyed it, and reap the benefits.

I think it's a great gesture. It says "you haven't crushed me and I'm fine."

Just don't EVER take her back.

Yeah, you're probably right - I'm an option (A) guy who would like to pretend he's an option (B) guy.

lol. did you actually say "Hey Ex-Wife", or "Hey _____"? The former is pretty damned funny.

As for picking up their tab, all I can say is good for you - it will certainly cause a bunch of head-scratching on their part, and honestly the beauty of it is that can be BOTH an olive branch AND a self-satisfying fuck you.....but in my book it makes you a much better person for it.....on SO many levels.

Your logic = self-punishment.

Yeah, realizing "never, ever again" is the hardest part of this all. My voided 5 year wedding anniversary is May 25th. I'll probably be doing some serious Obner-witnessed mongering right around then.

I said "Hey Ex-Wife". That's how I roll. I am so full of breakfast taco right now. Why does Mexican food make me feel stoned?

But I don't feel punished, babe, I feel bemused with myself.

i can't explain it but i think it's brilliant.
i think it's a fuck you to them. like you've taken the high road or something.

i see my ex's guy that she cheated on me with all of the time. we used to be friends and he runs like a litle sissy when he sees me now.

once i saw him in the grocery store and before he could run i said, "hello, loverboy."

By paying for their cheque you were asserting that you still retain possession over your ex wife with the added bonus that you de-masculinised her partner by psycologically linking the ability to pay for breakfast with the ability to sexually satisfy to orgasm.

I dunno, I'm just making this shit up but it sounds good to me!

Six Degrees of Dr. McDreamy

I think this is the right answer. To verify, ask yourself if you would have done it if they both walked up to you when they saw you and had been friendly rather than avoiding you.



Do it...if you have divorced friends drag them along and have fun with it. I had more fun on my anniversary the first few years after I was divorced than I did on my anniversary when I was married.

Regardless of your motivation, the effect will be to your advantage- the element of surprise at work.

I had a somewhat similar experience back when, with my ex and her silly bf, except that I buried a baked potato in dude's face, and had to do some serious talking to dodge another assault charge.

high-larious.

You know, I really wouldn't have bought their meal if they hadn't avoided me. Good point.

Yes, I'll try to make the ex-iversary epic. All I know is I have a belly full of good Mexican food and a hot date lined up for tonight, so I'm still feeling beneficent.

But do you prefer your cabana boys smart or dumb? (I can play dumb, if necessary)

i love me the smart girls but have never considered "smart" an option when considering boys at all.

I'm late to the game on this, but I think your move was completely fucking awesome.

A little bit of an "F you" but you were also passive-aggressively marking your territory in that they won't be able to think about eating there again without that incident coming back up in their memories.

You said they met at a Halloween party... was it the one I was at? Eerie...

Passive agression is unfair in a relationship but delightfully malicious when you don't owe either of them anything, least of all fairness and honesty. Nice one, it'll bug the shit out of her but she can't say you were anything but generous.

i have never understood the logic behind becoming the bf of someone who is cheating on her husband. seems like asking for trouble to me. one kind of trouble you can get for instance, is that the ex might be lurking in your taco shack waiting to pick up your check. that's nothing compared to what happens after next year's halloween party tho.

Pretty smooth, lad. Who cares what your personal intentions were, she's the one who'll be speculating about them.