i hate it when this one co-worker comes into my department's cubicle and hangs out for 10-20 minutes talking to my other co-worker, every fucking day! She stands there behind me while i'm trying to work (surf) and just talks, talks, talks. i can't even hear what i'm listening to when i'm listening to music. the cubicle is just too small for an extra body, it's so annoying.

not only that, she's a mooch. i hate people who say they're going to do something and never follow through, but instead keep eating all the damn chocolates i bring to work for everybody, not just for her! leave! get the fuck out of this cubicle. go take a damn cigarette break! donate some money to the candy fund damnit!

i would like to date you.

Since I don't have MSN anymore, (well I do just can't be bothered to update it and I can't sign in until I do) I'll address this purely to Tania. No one else will be interested.

So, Tan....I was in W. H. Smiths at Central Station the other day and who appears to be served at the next till? Guess? Go on....OK....

None other than Thicko Vicko! Man, I was sweating but fortunately she either...

a) didn't recognise me with long hair and a beard and no shirt and tie on

or

b) completely snubbed me because I never responded to her e-mail request.

I suspect a) is more likely. I'm a lucky, lucky man that I got away with out having to have a conversation with her. She looked like she has a job somewhere....god help them and in particular whoever she's 'assisting'.

Before I left work just now I had to keep two massage therapists from trying to kill each other.

Seriously.

One was in a foul mood and kept bitching at all of us and especially the other. She started in on her again and I told her to go take a time out. lol

Then I left and told the girl closing if there is bloodshed no one is to call me. I don't want to hear about it.

Holy shit, not Thicko Vicko?! And wait...you were topless at Central Station? How come I always get to see you in layers of clothing?

Btw, wanna know how to get rid of annoying people who visit your cubicle way too many times? Stand up, grab a piece of paper and pretend you need to make loads of copies. Or say you've gotta pee and walk away.

Ironic, since aren't massage therapists there to set a relaxed mood and soothe the nerves? Too bad they can't massage each other.

I think I've put a stop to the annoying co-workers who come in to chat with the woman I share my office with. I finally came out and told her that if she wanted to have extended conversations with people, she should take a coffee break and go in the lunchroom, because it looks unprofessional when they're chatting away. I don't want any association with that. I've also got the "frosty" look down to make people not stay long.

There is one woman though, nice enough, but man, she doesn't not know when to stop talking. She'll ask me an innocent question, and somehow it turns into a 20 minute rap session about her life. I like her well enough, but it's gotten to the point where I try to avoid making eye contact with her because if I do, I'll be entangled in another wasteful half hour of listening to her rattle on and on while I squirm uncomfortably, trying every method possible (including turning away from her to compose an email) to get her to leave. <homestarrunner>Seriously.</homestarrunner>

Another thing I hate (and perhaps this is my own damn fault with my frosty look) is when people approach my door to ask me a question, and you can tell they're hedging outside of my door, like I'm going to bite their head off. There's one guy down the hall who does this often, and I'm so tempted to just yell at him, "Spit it out, man! What do you want???"

Ha! I was actually fully clothed in 'civilian' apparel. Oh and my body is awesome, provided you see it from an angle that doesn't expose my disturbing hairy back.

I would like to hang with you Darrin, although i'm sure its not mutual.

There's a guy at work I've just about had it with. He's in his 50's and acts like he's 7, he's loud and obnoxious and not even remotely funny. He yells like Curly from the 3 Stooges "WOO WOO WOO WOO WOO" every 8 minutes or so. He can never just talk normally, he has to YELL EVERYTHING! I wrote a note today that said...

Woody,
Please shut up, you're annoying everyone.
The Office

But I didn't give it to him, mostly because I think he might know my writing.

this will just encourage her to stay longer if i walk out of the cubicle. i thought of just telling her, but knowing me i would just blow up at her. then i would look like the psychotic co-worker.

i should just put on my heavy duty headphones and blast the volume so they can hear it. maybe she'll get the hint that i don't want to listen to her damn conversation.

type it out.

i'll probably do just that.

i also can get his phone number and leave a message.

Maybe Tania can relate to this, but I've also decided that aside from Rachel (whom you met at Coachella), all the women I work with are psychos. I can't tell if it's my company only, or in general, but these women are crazy and love, love, LOVE the drama. Can I share?

- there's a woman down the hall who lives with a drug-dealing/abusive husband
- there's another woman upstairs living with a man who has been sent to prison twice for growing marijuana (we're talking fields here, folks) and he regularly cheats on her. Prior to this, she was married to a guy who would fake injuries for insurance payouts.
- there's a woman I work with who thinks she's God's gift to graphic design, but couldn't design her way out of a paper bag if her life depended on it. She also is extremely fashion-challenged. Also, very VERY loud.
- I'll give this one the benefit of the doubt, but there's another woman, recently divorced with a young daughter, who is going crazy with her social life, to the point of rolling in most days of the week late and hungover, bragging about all the men she's shagging and all the illicit drugs she's been doing. Let me repeat: this woman has a young daughter living with her full-time.

edit: oh, and I shan't forget one of my female co-workers who speaks in "voices," i.e. whenever she's talking about something someone else said, she has to put on a voice to do it. Very annoying.

I'm not very interesting I'm afraid. If you want to be very, very bored indeed, then feel free to hang.

this one girl who sits near me is SO FUCKING LOUD. like i'm on the phone with someone and i hear her cackling out loud. she's right outside the senior vp's office too- i'm surprised she hasn't gotten bitched out yet.

another girl is driving me absolutely crazy here... she thinks she knows everything but doesn't. and also the way she talks, it's that attitude that she is better than everyone else. i wanted to punch her after reading an e-mail from her and she apologized after reading my reply. ha!

man, i could go on and on about annoying co-workers. and all the drama around this place... damn music biz is drama.

Next time just let loose a nasty fart or alternately, open up a bottle of Korean Kim Chee. Same thing.

then they'll really believe my "oh i had stomach problems" sick days.

I'm socially retarded and very quiet until i feel comfortable. I'm happy to be bored but i feel you would be the bored one. One day maybe!

you guys should hang out. hell, you're on the same continent!

Its not really a recipe for a good night out though is it!

social bore + social retardation = A MOST BITCHIN' TIME

You should hide the good chocolate and place some really vile candy in the dish. Someone makes candy that turns your mouth funny colors...like all black, you should get something like that. I checked Archie McPhee and they don't seem to have that candy but they have some with insects and other oddities, see:

http://www.mcphee.com/categories/candy.html

Yeeesh! I think I'd go crazy.

I have a fairly new co-worker who is actually quite nice --- I enjoy working with him, except when he won't shut up. He loves to chat. Everyone that passes by, he needs to say 'hello' to. He's finally gotten the message that if I have my back to him or answer him with a grunt, it's because I'm not interested.

Sure it is! Darrin is an easy drunk and I've a feeling we could get you properly pissed. Drunk boys are always fun!

Methinks you're a lonely chap as well.