You know you wanna cash in on some o' that J.K. Rowling / Lemony Snicket BLING.

I know i've got some ideas. But I lack the self-discipline.

But I do have an OATMEAL SPOON!

I hear it's harder to get a children's book published than a novel, but I don't actually know. I guess there are a lot of people who are like, "I can write a 250-word story!"

well, i CAN write a 250-word story. In fact, I think I have written several of them already.

It's the illustrations that are difficult.

What kind of diseased mind fuck would a childrens' book authored by an Obner member be like?

I've had ideas, but not the impetus to write them down...
I should do that.

I smoke crack, you think I can be a semi-successful author?

Dude I thought it might be a good idea but all these asshole celebrities have decided they need a little more of the economic pie to gorge their fat asses on. Now it seems cliche. Not that the rantings of a guy who always talks about wanting to write but ends up watching 3 dvds a day should mean anything!

You forget.

Some of us have kids and we aren't completely warped as the rest of you.

I've entertained the thought actually. I'd write one using my son as the model for the character.

Yes.

That said, I've given it some thought, but never put pen to paper.

and then

what about comic books, they're short, just add drugs to any kids story and it works for adults

LOL

i've written a 50 page story about a really good athlete, but then i got bored.

When the kids were little, my wife did freelance editing and ghostwriting. One guy she was working with was a doctor from Melbourne, Australia. They were working on an epic children's parable. A sort-of Australian take on Pilgrim's Progress-by-way-of-The Phantom Tollbooth. His rates for her ghostwriting skills were at least triple what she'd gotten from others. Unfortunately, he turned out to be severely bipolar, but was too proud to admit it, so he'd sometimes go on about how the sun rose and set on her intelligence, wit and beautiful soul and other times lecture her like she was a 10-year old Catholic schoolgirl. Eventually, she told him to go fuck himself. She's still got the drafts of the manuscript and is thinking of using the guy as a character in a book if she can ever take the time to get to work on one.