Okay, if you don't care, don't read. It's personal, but I need advice or another point of view from people outside of my circle.

I just found out that my so-called "best friend" slept with a guy I dated... (as if I'm not already having a shitty fuckin week) I was pretty into him, things didn't work out, and I was bent about the situation. This happened a few months ago. NOW, she's moving to SF next weekend (good fuckin riddance, bitch) but all this time, I didn't know... I had my suspicions here and there and gave her the benefit of the doubt thinking she wouldn't do something like that to her best friend. The source who mentioned it to me KNOWS for a fact because 1. he's her roommate, 2. he met the guy when I came over when we were going out that night and we were hanging out again, 3. that guy came over again (obviously without me) and the roommate realized... hey wasn't that Dri's guy? and when introduced, the guy said "oh yeah I met you before." He didn't want to say anything to me because he didn't want to get caught in the middle, but he felt horrible that he was hiding it from me.

I'm a pretty confrontational person. If you piss me off, you'll be damn sure I'll confront you if you backstab me like this. The only problem is, I planned a going-away party for her on Sat., now I can't even fuckin look at her in the face or even want to be 10 feet near her without wanting to beat the fuckin living hell out of her. I want to confront her, but I don't know how, without losing my temper. This is such fuckin high school bullshit, but I have never felt so betrayed in my life. It fuckin hurts.

My friends are saying "oh she's moving away, she'll be out of your life." FUCK THAT. All these years I've been nothing but a good friend to her, and she totally betrayed me like this... and I'm so damn stubborn that I can't let her get away with this. I don't get how she could look at me in the face when I was talking to her about him... what would you do???? I seriously don't even want to show up on Sat. because we'll be drinking, and you're damn straight I'll want to say something- but for the sake of everyone else, this drama is between me & her and I rather resolve it in a different situation.

Defenitey worng of her to do...

How long did you date him for? And how long ago did you date him?
Is their a cut off point where he is free reign?

Although, she should have came to you first.

do whatever you want that helps you and isn't motivated purely by spite. be glad that you found out that she's a backstabbing bitch before you lent her any money.

"if you loan someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it."

It was at the beginning of summer, it only lasted a couple of months- and it happened RIGHT after. We weren't serious, but I was more into him than most guys. Oh, and not to mention she was already dating someone at the time.

She gets around. But of all the fuckin guys she gets, why do you have to go there? Not to mention she's fucked over quite a few people before (including her roommate), and she's extremely selfish, but I've always looked past that and defended her.

There's absolutely no way to be civil about this, but I'm trying to think of what I need to do before Saturday comes around. I planned this fuckin party, so if I don't show up... people are going to ask questions and I really don't feel like explaining to our friends what happened. But if I go, I'm just going to want to kick her ass, so either way, this shit sucks.

What I want is to kick her ass. Would you call that spite? Seriously, no one's ever had the guts to tell this bitch off...

Confornt her at the parry. tewll her you know what she did.. tell her to enjoy her party that you set up, then walk away...

hopefully she'll feel like shit for quite a while.

i just don't see how dri profits from anything that's designed soley to hurt this girl's feelings, when the girl has obviously proven that she doesn't give two shits about you. if i had just go so far as to fuck one of my friend's exes and he came up to me and snarled "i hope you're happy. enjoy the party!" i'd be all like "yeah, i will, thanks. give me a makers and ginger" and look for his other promiscuous exes. it certainly wouldn't make me feel guilty.

Tell her the place for the party has changed. Send her on a real long fucking goose chase.

Then, enjoy yourself with your real friends at the party, without her to worry about. If she shows up, THEN kick her ass.

So, you two were broken up when she slept with him, right? Who broke it off, you or him?

All this stuff is way to dramatic for me to offer any advice, I'm just curious.

Damn, it's too bad we don't all live in your area, because we could gang up on her, all posse-like! I had a similar situation happen to me recently (not nearly as heartbreaking as yours, but definitely feelings of betrayal and finally opening my eyes to see my so-called friend for what she truly was-- a self-centered bitch). Is the party at your place? If so, have the party anyway, but confront her quietly somewhere during the party, and hopefully she'll leave (or you could ask her to leave). Then that leaves you to enjoy the party with the rest of your friends. If the party isn't at your place, I would probably still go, make the rounds, glad-hand the folks you want to see, confront her before you leave and then exit.

I'm really sorry to hear this happened. I so wish that women could be more supportive of each other and not regress to backstabbing behavior like this. It makes the rest of us look bad.

edit: by the way, there's no sense in putting too much energy into confronting this girl strongly... she clearly doesn't deserve it. You have better things to do with your life than concern yourself with someone as shallow as she appears to be.

Well you seem pretty pissed off so I don't think you should do her any favors by showing up at the party for the sake of appearances. I guess on one hand you're helping yourself out by avoiding future questions about your no show but then if the chances are pretty great that you'll slam her while there well there will be those questions too. Either you go because you want to rail into her publicly or you say fuck all and not go and tell the inquirers that you guys had a falling out and leave it at that.

I'm sure it's more complicated, but I would choose the latter. She's dead to you, and good riddance.

Dis-invite her from the party and have a "She's going away" party.

And don't forget the old maxim that I just made up:

Betrayal begets revenge. Revenge is a dish best served...often.

You and the guy had already broken up. I don't see the dilemna.

Yeah that, and just let it go, don't give her the time of day and fuggedaboutit. Don't let crap like this get in the way and under your skin.

I got the impression it was pre-break up. Take revenge anyway--if it turns out you're wrong, a simple, "Oops, my bad" should cover it.

No WMD? "Oops, my bad." You're only 14? "Oops, my bad." I should've signed The Beatles? "Oops, my bad."

Cancel the party.


Doesn't the boy deserve a little ire?

Seriously, what did you expect? She sounds like a terrible person, but I bet she's FUN AS SHIT to hang out with
Just cancel the party. Call the people you actually want to hang with and do something else.
Giving people who've revealed backstabbing behavior in the past the benefit of the doubt is never a good idea. I'm not saying you shouldn't trust anyone, just don't be surprised when they shit on you.

don't even have the party.

don't let her get away with it....

... and all this time, I just kept telling people, "You just don't know Damone"

Sounds like less of a foul, take revenge anyway...and film it.

If they screwed while you were together, by all means go to town and kick her ass. And his ass. Takes two to tango.

If they screwed after the two of you broke up...

you've got less of a leg to stand on. But do what makes you feel better. Like kicking both of their asses.

And why do you like asshole guys that screw your so called friends?

-Phil

Take a page from the Drive By Truckers and cut that bitch's head off and dump her body over a spillway at the Wilson Dam.

Failing that, understand that some people fucking suck, but don't allow her any free time in your head. The more time you spend wasting thinking about this person, the more they have won.

Don't Get Mad, Don't Get Even, Get Ahead.

i.e. don't craft spend time being pissed off about it, don't spend time crafting some clever revenge. Laugh at the bicth next time you see her when you are a happy well adjusted person with a good job and she's a street hooker with multiple STDs and a bad weave (or somesuch)

And why hang out with girlfriends who cheat on their guys? If a woman cheats on her guy, it's a pretty safe bet she wouldn't think too hard about cheating with yours.

ding motherfucking ding.

note to self: betrayal never works out. repeat x 1000.

KPH

I could understand you being upset...
If you knew they were sneaking around while you were with the guy, I'd say give her a good confrontation. However, they did get together after you and the guy were finished (at least that you know of). If you've always defended her as a friend before, and have been able to look past things like this when they've happened to other people, I don't know why you can't try and look past it when it happens to you.

Keyword - after. and it must've been a one-time thing (or at least nothing long term, as far as I can tell from your descriptions / the fact that she has/had a boyfriend).

I can see you being a bit upset, but to the point of throwing away this friendship? Yesterday you were planning a goodbye party, and now you want nothing to do with her because she slept with never-your-boyfriend?

Sorry, but someone has to take a more rational side without just calling the girl a skank (which she is)... as of next week, you won't even have to be in the same social circles anymore. Maybe you should be cordial on Saturday, then let her go...