this has GOT to be a holiday thing dudes. no XXL meals at Wal-Mart or Publix near me.

but they did has this...



it says XXL, so i had to grab it. full review with pics later.

i will still have to try the meal when i can find one though. i'll be in Orlando later this week, so possibly there. i'm going to have to hide eating it from Angelique though. she'd kill me. it's not organic.

I expect a pic of you and that brick lying against some tear-stained pillows sharing a post-coital cigarette.

my stomach already kinda hurts knowing that this is in my immediate future.

I feel like after the holidays you need to do the full XXL meal though with brownie and mashed potatoes.

oh yeah, totally.

i need to do this.

It's only 8 oz. You need to eat 3 to get the full weight of an XXL meal.

nah, gonna save myself for the meal. i want the fixin's guy.

holy shit, you need to put a cd case or something next to that sandwich for some scale. I'm excited for you.

also we need a screenshot of the "Nutritional" Values.

Disappointing.

man that's not even as bad as a Chipotle burrito, I think.

Of course the burrito is free range chicken instead of zebra meat...

bacon up that pork-shaped patty, boy.

hahaha! bacon will prolly make it taste at least half way "real".

are zebra endangered?

that would make this so much better.

I'm just wondering how much that BBQ sauce is gonna burn when it gets in your pee hole.

I love that the box says "Serving Suggestion." Usually you see that on like a cereal box when they've added some fruit or put some orange juice next to the bowl or something. What are they suggesting here? That you serve it on a blue paper towel? Or is this an acknowledgment that this shit will look nothing like a real sandwich when you actually prepare it according to the box instructions? "We suggest you go out and buy a real sandwich, made of real pork, on bread that isn't soggy and freezer-burned. Failing that, eat this dyed offal."

This reminds me of when I was in college in the dorms. We had this vending machine that had a "rib" sandwich, along with a pressed beef sandwich that came with A-1. Normally those would taste like ass, but when you're drunk or high at 3 in the morning they were amazing.

A-1 can make even the most vile edible.

Confirm this. Often imitated, never duplicated.

Seeing as this is low brow though, I strongly suggested have a side of Cheez Whiz, warmed and ready to dip or as a chaser.

You should just purchase a box of On Cor BBQ Rib Pork Patties

http://www.on-cor.com/OnCor_products.html

I'm a firm believer in using A-1, cheese whiz and various hot sauces with low brow meals.

And if you go back to Wal-mart to pick up a proper XXL meal, be sure to try one of these.



They usualy come with a "steaK" product and sell for about $2.

Alright, here we go.

The unboxing of the mighty Hungry Man XXL BBQ Pork Rib Sandwich.



As Haq pointed out, let's notice the Serving Suggestion label (ALL CAPS). So wait, they want us to only eat 1 at a time? Good lookin' out. Also, I noticed the company that produces these meals is from New Jersey.



First thing I notice is the dark spots that cover the meat product. They definitely give you that BBQ'd meat-hey guy your backyard is awesome-your son is drowning in the pool-fuck it, it's summertime kinda feel. What exactly creates these dark spots?



Take note of the size.



What the fuck kind of shape is this? Oh wow, look at the ribs stickin' out! Authentic! Notice....no sauce on this side.



Oh, there's the sauce!



Prepping for the task.



In the microwave, 1:35 seconds. Look at those grease splatters! Hopefully that was enough time to kill anything that could potentially kill me.



There it is! Let's let it rest just a moment.



It shrank quite a bit. Dog on the cover knows that I'm about to eat his food.



First bite. Notice, it's not that big.



The bun is good. Nice texture. The "meat product" has a soft, weird, and rubbery texture and is kinda scary, yet familiar. I want to taste that delicious flame grilled BBQ flavor that those spots had promised me, but I don't. The sauce is actually kind of good. Not overly sweet. After I swallow my first bite, my mouth is filled with a greasy film. It has coated my entire mouth. I'm picturing it closing up my throat as I collapse on the kitchen floor. Instead, I go in for another few bites.



Hey, look at that delicious sauce! Oh wait, it's all grease and oil.



At this point, it can't end soon enough. It's really bad guys.



I can see the finish line!



At this point (in a matter of 5 minutes) my stomach is already beginning to rumble. Dead serious. Might be the wine/BBQ pork product combo, but yeah, my body doesn't like this too much.



Now I'm not looking forward to an entire meal as much.