probably vcu. my mom is forcing me to make my final decision tonight and i dont fucking know what to do. i dont fucking know.
i hate her so much right now. i can't believe she's making me decide right now.
i haven't heard back from one school, and i haven't heard back about financial aid from another.
what the fuck is she thinking?

darlin, there shouldn't even be a decision...CHICKEN AND WAFFLES EVERY SUNDAY ON THE CORNER!!!! Even if you don't like chicken, you will once you get introduced to the NYC weed that all the trust fund kids smoke.

what more could you possibly want out of your education...pot, chicken, and waffles.

i (every now and then) smoke marijuana but i will never ever ever ever ever eat chicken nomatter how high i am.

oh yeah... and my decision is now resting on where my best friend is going.
i don't want to go to college unhappy. i'm going to be miserable and depressed without him. which is why i hope he wants to go to pratt because i think that's where i'm telling my mom i want to go tonight.
his gpa is higher than mine so i'm pretty sure he'll get more financial aid than i did which will hopefully mean he can go to pratt.

i hate my mom sometimes though. not hate.. but she confuses me so much.
she pushed pratt out of my mind completely even after we got the financial aid letter.. she didn't speak to me for a week because i wanted to go there..
now she's so angry that i won't make my decision between pratt and vcu. what the fucking hell?

Follow your heart.
I truly mean this.

Refuse to decide. What is she gonna do, enroll you in VCU?

finally someone puts me as a signature...Loog...you're the king.

the friend I spoke of (the one around the corner from campus) said the same thing

That line is an obner classic, my friend.

And, more importantly: THE TRUTH

bluemilk told me to refuse to decide as well but it's not that easy when it comes to my mother. i'm terrified of her. i don't know.
she's being ridiculous right now, though. she wanted me to decide a month ago. it's a little difficult to decide when i haven't heard back from all of my schools and i haven't gotten financial aid information and the like.
i'm so angry.

That would be a mistake to base your decision on that. It's your education, and no one else's. If you went to different schools, it doesn't mean you are forbidden from being friends, and you will meet alot of people in the same boat, with similar interests, and all kinds of interesting differences. You will make friends wherever you go, and regardless of whether you go to school with him or not.

Change is ultra scary, and it's nice to have a partner in crime, but your education is your investment in yourself, so buy some good stock that's going to bring you some dividends.

If it'll get her off your back, make a decision. You can always change your mind later. I did that with NWU vs. CWRU.

She's the one who should be terrified of alienating you. Use your leverage as the adoptee and turn it around against the adopter. If she's not above emotional blackmail/terrorism, you shouldn't have to just sit there and take it. You've got hand, as George Costanza would say. Work it!

my heart is an idiot.

i know but i want him to go to new york too. i love him too much to let him go. it doesn't feel right, right now. everything feels really perfect and it's very stupid to ruin a friendship such as this when everything is going so well.
i'm not compromising my education, believe me. i want to go to pratt.
god. i really don't know what to do. if i say pratt then we have the forms to fill out for all of the loans and everything that we can do tonight... and then there is no turning back. i want to say pratt but be able to change my mind if i need to.

would it be weird to call his mom and talk to her about their college ideas for him? i don't know what to do right now.

You say that now, but there are people I once thought would be characters in my life forever whom I haven't spoken to in 5-10 years. I only talk to one friend from high school with any regularity.

I mean this as constructive criticism, not harsh judgement or anything pejorative, but it's this sort of influence on your decision making that leads to being labled as immature.

Also, even if you fill out loan papers and such, you don't have to take the money if you get it. You can just send it right back. Taking a loan doesn't mean you are required to go the school you got the loan to pay for. Does it?

<=== has never had a loan

my parents just told me that i have to go to vcu because they are financially unable to pay off 10,000+ loans for a four year period. they said that if i want to go to pratt i can seek out loans myself and pay the 23,000 dollars that is left after what pratt is giving me.

like i'd be able to pay that.
i think if i go to vcu i can network and get in the right group in richmond. then i can go to grad school. preferably pratt or yale. i'll go to one of those schools and network.
wherever i go, after school, i'll most likely be moving away from richmond. probably to new york. and i will hopefully become the professor i want to be and maybe i'll be able to show my work and inspire some people like the artists i know of and love more than anything have done for me.
that's all i want in life.. is to make someone passionate about art and life just like i've had others do for me.

I thought you had 10 years for a student loan

10 years... 23,000 dollars multiplied by four.

edit... per student loan? i don't know a single thing about loans.. but you know. i really feel like if i get to know the right people and build up my name i can go somewhere with my art.. but if i work as hard as i can in college and i get the best grades and make the best work possible then i can definitely get into yale.. and i guess going to a school where i got a free ride will enable me to go to an expensive school like yale or pratt for grad school.

i don't know. i haven't even grasped this notion yet. i don't feel like i'm growing up or going to college. i'm feeling sort of delirious and i really don't feel like anything has happened or changed.
maybe that's why i'm not upset.

Wait, so they won't help you @ all financially if you go to Pratt?

That's a truckload of bullshit right there. Where's ayah when we (or, rather, you) need her?

It's obvious that Pratt is the place where you're supposed to be (best friend in tow or no) and I can't imagine being a parent and totally slamming the door on my kid's dream by not helping pay for anything. Not saying I'd cover the whole shot, but work out something to make it manageable.

I really hope this isn't the final straw in this whole decision for you. That'd be criminal.

wherever you go, take your loans, then go straight to grad school so you can defer till after your grad degree which will give you more earning potential.

They'll arrange a payment plan, you adhere to it as best as you can, and if you're in academia, they take that into account. If at any point in your life that you're unemployed, you get a hardship forbearance (interest free break, or low interest, typically six months), live within your means, live your own life, and owe nothing to your family.

Then you own your own shit.

It might be shit, but it's your own.

i'm going to drive my car off of a bridge if i lose my dream school and my boyfriend. he doesn't want to go to vcu.
if i lose the two most important things in my life right now.
elizabeth+car+bridge+windows down+seatbelt on=eventual death

ask yourself this: you were willing to go where he was going, why is it not vice versa?

mail me all of your art first, and I'll start a museum.

If you worry about losing anything, you never really had it in the first place.

Work on being secure in yourself (i know, coming from me that's a big fucking joke), and that'll keep you from placing strain on the relationship. Just tell yourself you'll make it work. If you both work at it, and you both want it, you'll be considerate of each other and it'll work.

As far as the school thing, it's just a means to an end. Keep the end goal in sight, tackle the details one at a time. Otherwise you'll drive yourself nuts.

college + boyfriend/girlfriend = disaster

you have a better chance of getting through a season of the Real World with a boyfriend back home.