My ex had a cousin who, for his tenth birthday, wanted tickets to "Phantom of the Opera." So yeah, sometimes the families figure it out before the kid does.

not that theres anything wrong with that.

I don't even know if my cousin is aware he's gay yet, but the rest of us knew when he was 8 and spent 3 days designing a table centerpiece and name cards for my extended family for thanksgiving.

Very interesting reading these... I think it's interesting how some of you (not all of you) seriously questioned yourself as kids, when deep down, you already knew. I think it's a much more open environment these days, and kids in highschool are braver to come out these days. I knew kids in school that were clearly gay (one was my junior prom date, and I couldn't have had a more fun time!), but like HideousLump says, most of my friends had that whole WASPy background too, and plus growing up in rural Georgia? Well, you just didn't talk about those things. At this point, I don't think my junior prom date has come out of the closet yet, and he's 35.

Anyhow, I applaud all of you.

Wait, you realized you were gay after you sucked dick? Several times? I just can't imagine that. You're like in a completely different world. You do realize that most people who are straight wouldn't suck a dick? Or am I the one in a different world?

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I was confused about it but I never knew for sure that I was gay until I was a bit older and mature enough to realize what that meant. As a child, and later on, a teenager, I always knew there was something odd about wanting to play with boys but I never really came to grips with it until later.

Does that make sense?

Came to grips, eh

As much as I think it's going to, to me.

More straight people would suck a dick than admit to sucking a dick.

I would guess that in OPA's situation, it started out as a kind of "playing around" just because it felt good--he hadn't intellectualized the idea of homosexuality at that age, he was just trying things out.

I think that a lot of people who start their sexual activity early are probably a little more experimental in those early years. They haven't set their sexual role in stone yet; it's just a teenage version of "playing doctor"--you're curious about what makes these groinal devices tick.

I probably just pulled this statistic out of my ass (or from a half-remembered viewing of Kinsey), but something like 25% of straight people have had homosexual experiences. Sexuality can change in different circumstances. They talk about "situational homosexuality" happening in same-sex environments like private schools or prisons; men and women will temporarily go gay if that's all that is available, then switch back to hetero with no lingering homo-osity.

(Phrases I originally wrote above but changed to avoid snickering: "OPA's position," "sexuality is fluid," "their sexual roles haven't hardened.")

Wasn't Groinal Devices the second album from Codpiece?

I was at the doctor's yesterday, all day so I only just got a chance to read these.

The thread has turned out to be much better than I had expected. Thank you for sharing your stories.

I suppose that I have always had a fascination with any sort of fringe group and been baffled as to why any entire group would be marginalized: Black people, Jews, Gay people for just a few examples.

So thanks for your candor.
I have found it very enlightening reading and I hope that others here have too.

And as far as my "qualified distancing statement" --- I was just anticipating the "So are you saying that you're gay, Todd?" posts and trying to head them off.

And I am glad that most of you have the unconditional love and support from your families. It's important for us all.

For my friends here in Texas it's not an option to be open about it. There was a news report where a college kid was murdered and they reported he was gay, like it mattered. My friends they get made fun of by their family, by old friends and their not even "out", just to have the tendencies here is a death warrant. I took a lot of trash when i was in junior high cause i was into death metal and wearing all black, even for that i got called a fag. I could not imagine how painful and isolating it would be to come out... too much drama that doesn't go away.

Those years i was into metal and goth... it was hard, i had to switch schools, i hated myself, i couldn't talk to people i knew... i wanted to dissappear. I eventually had to walk away from all of it. Buy into the whole clean cut image. And for me it was just that, an image thing, just the music and apparral i liked, it had nothing to do with who i was. I couldn't imagine the pain someone would go through knowing it's who they are that people hate.