FT Wrote:
My job rocks, because I fell asleep in a meeting and had to be woken up by the CEO, who instead of firing my narcoleptic ass on the spot decided to just have a good chuckle.
I've actually been using it as a running joke. I gave a presentation during the following week's meeting and said it probably wasn't a good idea for me to voluntarily dim the lights, which got a big laugh. I also brought in a ginormous can of Monster Energy drink ("The Assault") to a subsequent meeting.
Actually, I didn't really ever fall asleep as much as bob my head and blink my eyes a couple of times trying to stave off drowsiness, but I still love the fact that I work somewhere that appreciates what I actually do contribute (at least when my eyes are open) as opposed to all those other places I've worked that were all more interested in keeping me down. And I never even fell asleep at any of those places!
Oh, here's some of the other great stuff about working at this place:
1. They gave me a 20% base salary increase over my previous job.
2. They gave me a Treo 650 SmartPhone/PDA with Palm OS.
3. They give us an annual company Christmas party at a fancy hotel with all food and booze on the house.
4. They gave me a brand-new DVD burner with laser engraving capabilities (for "training videos," of course).
5. They just built a brand-new office building at less than half the commute from my previous job.
6. They gave me a brand-new Dell Latitude D610 laptop with 100 GB hard drive, Centrino and docking station.
7. I'm on a first-name basis with the entire executive team, including the CEO (with whom I meet weekly).
8. I've been invited to multiple happy hours at a nearby bar with tabs for all picked up by the CEO.
9. They equipped this new building with a 33-seat state-of-the-art training lab wired for surround sound with a high-def DLP projector and all brand-new Dell PCs and glass-top desks containing flat-panel monitors underneath.
10. They gave me the full 10% for my first quarterly bonus, even though I only officially qualified for 5%, because my boss runs HR and figures she can call an audible if she damn well pleases.
11. Apparently, there is no way I can be Squirrgled from this gig.
And to think, I never even so much as APPLIED for this job. It was just a totally out-of-the-blue phone call from someone who saw my half-assed resume on Monster.com.
Good times...
np: Stevie Ray Vaughan - "Riviera Paradise"
The CEO interface is huuuuge. I'm hoping for the same when my new gig starts in three weeks. My current Veep hasn't said a single word to me since I gave my notice last week.
