i like philly.

i think the greater problem is her flip-flopping on where she wants to go.

I do to, Jewels. I think everyone else here got mugged or left in grays ferry while visiting.

so she should just tell you where she wants to go?

well, if i'm to put her interests ahead of mine, then something like that. I've already ruled out where I wouldn't go, and I'm not about to tell her she can't go to where the greatest oppurtunity lies.

Greatest opportunity or easiest opportunity?If I were her, I would follow my OWN path, not my boss'. So that means no Claremont.
Cotton, are we talking literary publishing?

well, she's not quite sure what her own path is, being that she hasn't started grad school yet. Her boss's path just happens to be the one with the most benefits.

we're talking whatever publishing I can get steady work in. I'm working in medical editing/publishing right now.

CHESTER!!

I saw that movie The Sixth Sense and apparently there are dead ghosts walking around there all the time.


I say move.

i'd say move to boston but you really don't want to listen to me.

i'm probably the wrong person to give advice here because i don't believe in moving in with a significant other, let alone to another city unless i'm engaged to the person and KNOW i'm going to marry them.

however, i also wouldn't move to claremont. you definitely want to move between claremont/la. i'd check out the 626 area... pasadena, west covina, etc. it's not too far from la so you'll be able to maintain a social life and the commute shouldn't be too bad from work. EVERYONE commutes in la so no matter what, there will always be traffic. it's la.

but i'd visit the places that you're thinking about moving to first to see if it's something you really want to do......

yeah the whole traffic thing is a whole other deal. ugh.

Ive been in similar situations a lot of times given the nature of grad school. So I will talk, and then you can ignore it.

Advice for her - go to the best program possible. But 'best' doesnt necessarily mean most prestigious but the best fit (assuming it is a good school). Never go to a po-dunk school-- let alone pay for it.

Advice for you:

If you move, do so with the understanding that you would be doing it for her- all for her- and dont expect anything except maybe 1 or 2 meals a day and a place to sleep. In other words, get this out of the way so that when you are working a job you dont like, you cant easily resent her for it. The point being- be clear on the worst possible scenario and then work from there.

I also agree with Chase- you are worthless without her- but Id say the same thing about him.

Put a ring on that finger so that you can bask in the bono coniugali... i.e. good benefits and a 401k not to mention alimony down the line

The traffic is no worse than any other major city. The size of L.A. is what makes it take forever to get anywhere, it's not like it's bumper to bumper. You're moving. You just have to go alot farther to get places, but I'm sure you'd learn surface street shortcuts to deal with when the highways are effed.

it sounds like its on her shoulders to make a descison.

paul wins the best advice award (for the entire post, not just that nugget). and i'm probably gonna marry her just to be able to afford moving out there at this rate.

and a married me is just as worthless as an unwed one. you guys think i'm gonna change a damn shade with a ring on my finger?

haha such a cute notion.

Think of it like this, even a substance as hard as a diamond can be shaped by incessant constant grinding ..day after day after day

you know I've lived with her for about 5 years, right? I know those are famous last words, but the only changin' I do is self-initiated. next thing you're gonna tell me i'm gonna sober up. and have kids.

a hahahahahahahaha.

"Ok Im going to change this so that you shut the fuck up"

thats the married version of self-initiated change.

But hey, I am not bitter.

no, i feel you and you're probably more right than i, but i'm pretty up front about what i'm willing to change and what i'm not. and my adamant stance on never spawning pretty much rules out the "think of the children" clause.

Tania you'd know that drive waaaay better than me but isn't Pasadena like 30 miles from Claremont which in rush hour would equal about an hour & a lot more expensive property wise?

In Claremont you'd be close to Pomona, which actually has that area around the Glass House that gets going at night.

Rancho Cucamunga has a single A minor league team

But yeah Pasadena you'd be close to Downtown LA, Silverlake, Dodger stadium, Rose Bowl etc

I'd say 25-30 miles depending on where in Pasadena and about 10 or so from downtown la, hollywood, etc but going from Pasadena to Claremont would be a reverse commute against traffic and would probably be more like a 30-40 minute commute to the school. That's my best guess anyway.

I wouldn't want to live in Claremont if it were avoidable but I'm mainly thinking that the job prospects in LA/hollywood/etc would be a lot better for cotton than in Claremont and that they'd want to live somewhere where the commute was reasonable for both of them. The commute from Claremont to LA would certainly suck.

yeah, midway between them would probably make the most sense, since I doubt i'd be working in claremont. is public transportation onexistent out there? I was planning on selling my car.

and just the thought of living somewhere called rancho cucomunga is AWESOME.

This would be a lot more valuable if Rickey Henderson were still playing for the San Diego Surf Dawgs like he was last year.

Its possible to take the subway or bus to work if you have regular hours but I don't know many that do it.

I wouldn't want to be without a car for social reasons though. To say the mass transit system isn't that great would be an oversell of it.

that seems pretty retarded for an area with as many transportation problems as LA. We have 2 cars right now is the only reason i'd sell mine.