i dated a co-worker once.

she is now mrs. elephantstone.

i say go for it.

That's the advice I'm feeling.

She's my boss' assistant, and only has been for a number of weeks. I've thought that she's cute all along, but figured I'd be passive about it until an out-of-office opportunity presented itself (I wasn't gonna make it happen). Then yesterday she suddenly starts sweatin' me: e-mailing from next door, dropping her number, dropping this hint and that. We spoke on the phone last night, and now we're heading to the Ninja Tune Karate Chops hockey game on Saturday. We'll see how it goes but I'm tempted to quell this before it really starts. I don't think I can deal - not with the relative intensity with which she's newly pursuing this. And the history of intra-office relations (see: the hole in the wall outside my office).

I'm surprised at the encouragement I'm getting from this lot.

can you put your weiner through it into her office?

Not very far off.

take the chance. you're going to, anyway.

Whoa, your bosses assistant is sweatin' you. Danger, will robinson!

- If it goes well, your boss will find out and think you unprofessional. Also, one of you will be let go.
- If it goes badly, she can toast you with your boss. She has a lot of power there.
- If you blow her off, she can toast you with your boss. See above.

Let her down very very easy. Perhaps you have a sick child, or are gay, or your dick was cut off in a tragic accident and the arousal she produces in you causes only pain. Something. Something not "you are not hot enough for me to risk my job".

Don't be so sure. Because she is ...



Besides. I'm being the hesitant, cautious one.

And I have more clout in this office.

my parents met at work. and work together today, although now it is much less than it used to be. They have now been married for 30 years last march.

I used to work in a restaurant. It had 4 owners. I did the sous chef thing and got to experience that interactions of both couples nightly. One set of owners were married. She had a kid from a previous "thing". And, she was older than him by like 4 years. However, you could count on every night those two getting mad at each other and arguing every now and again. It got pretty irritating. However, I also lived with them for a while and I got to see that that argument really had very little to do with them as people. Tehy loved each other and made it clear in post work scenarios. They were/are great people. The have since sold the restaurant and moved on and no longer work together.

The other couple/set of owners were just together. Not married but living together as well. They would fight non-stop. I would hang out at their apartment sometimes after work and would be unbelievably shocked not only that those two were still together but that one or the both of them were actually still alive. It was horrible. Made others extremely uncomfortable, and was notably not the right thing for them to do (work and love together).

I guess going out with someone from works has its ups and downs. You spend unbelievably amounts of time together. It can create tension. However, it can also be a good way to really get to know someone you are with. You get to see them stressed and how they respond. It can be quite insightful really. And, it can be a good experience if you're really looking for a serious relationship with possible marriage.

As that one person said, if you're just looking for a lay than look elsewhere because that can create loads of issues at work, gossiping, etc. But, if you think she's a serious candidate for future happiness then I can't really tell someone to NOT do something for fear that you'll always regret it later. all the what could have beens and such.

I say go for it if you're serious, but don't if you're just horny.

In this, and most situations, I find it is better to defer to the natural wisdom of The Butthole Surfers: "Just remember, it's better to regret something you have done, than something you haven't."

or it doesn't work out, she may not toast you at all. some people are stable.

It's obvious that you have a lot more to lose than she does. She's new and parttime and probably won't take this job as serious as you may.

As a general rule, I don't associate with my co-workers outside of work and they know nothing about me other than I can put a mean presentation together. I like it that way.

I think it comes down to priorities. Would you be willing to risk losing your job for a relationship? I, myself, wouldn't knowing that's it's probably harder to find a good job than it is a good woman/man. Think about it.

Sure, she might not. The operative word is 'can'. Me, I don't dig the sword of damocles thing. YMMV.

If she's part-time...they'll can her way before they fire you. If it upsets you so much, just ask your boss what the policy is. Don't mention who it is.

It's a small company, kids. 6 or so full-timers and then a handful of parttimers. Intraoffice relations are jokingly illegal here, but ain't no one getting canned over this.

1. Murphy's Law, plan for the worst.

2. Female Insanity Syndrome. Chronic in most females, present in all females to some degree, see #1.

I work at a large company, so it's not as taboo as it seems for you. Still, I don't think I'd let people know if I were dating someone here, nor date anyone I'd have to see every day after I mess it up...

Just remember, small office = big drama in a hurry...

If you're seen twice with her alone people already think it, why waste such beautiful thoughts?

I hear people do it all the time, but it's a nightmare when it doesn't work out. I've done it once ("courted" someone at work), and would never do it again.

Sounds like you're not feeling her...

if that's the case, then tell her you think you like guys.

She saves face, it isn't HER fault that you don't like her as much as she likes you, and then you can be friends.

Then when you get a girlfriend and she gets mad, that's when you say, "hey. I said i like guys. Doesn't mean i don't like girls too."

By this point, you'll have a solid friendship that can withstand such barbs. Or you'll realize that you don't want to be friends with her.

Either way you win.

-Phil

Supposing you really don't want to kill Independent George... Or, more precisely, if you believe that hokum, that Independent George will die if you mix your pools, then I agree with DN. Otherwise....

What Timmy Joe said.

She's young (and tight?) and/or well-off, so hit it. Hit it now. Hit it hard.

According to N.W.A.... A bitch is a bitch.