I pharmed in a workacy.

Never stolen anything.

I worked in a couple of restaurants, so:

Black Forest Cake
Ice Cream
Untold litres of fountain pop
various foodstuffs
a single granule of table salt

beanie babie knock-offs actually

yea i know
in retrospect it seems pretty tarded
i don't know what my plan was for them
but im sure i had some sort of plan

i bet she still thinks of you

I have never stolen anything in my entire life
just glances and hearts...and maybe some mp3s

There were a couple of things I kept on a tab at my first job after high school. I intended to pay for them eventually, but I quit and she closed the store before I could.

A t-shirt, a porcelain apple, fortune telling dice... the store didn't really have anything that useful.

Not even 40 winks? etc.

nothing, even though i should have stolen everything i could get my hands on because my boss treated me like shit.

Mostly Mt Dew, frozen pizzas, and beef jerky. Hey, it was high school.

lots of cigarettes

Soccer store that no one (and I literally mean no one) ever shopped at:
- took a Kappa rain jacket
- should have taken some nice cleats, but the best brand they had was Patrick (though they were pretty expensive) and I didn't really dig them

Jersey Mike's sandwich shop:
-obvi a bunch of sandwiches, but you were allowed a sandwich per shift
- took a UPS (uninterrupted power supply) to college with me...not really sure why

oh man. just high school? I had at least 4 or 5 jobs through high school, from which I stole the following:

Lifeguard:
35 floating foam noodles
20 kickboards
2 pair flippers
1 giant bottle, ipecac
1 basketball
6 lawn chairs
1/4 lb, marijuana
2 plastic golf clubs
about 25 t-shirts

contracting:
a buncha beer. I think that's it.

dishwasher:
75 lb industrial fan
2 rocking chairs
1 gross, mini cereal boxes
3 dozen eggs
1 brick, spanish peanuts.
1 case, fruitopia
1 case, whipped cream canisters
enough ingredients for about 45 omelettes
2 vending machines' worth of candy
4 or 5 international flags, though I only remember having Australia, Brazil, and Switzerland.
1 golf cart (repeatedly, always returned)
1 bottle, russian vodka (from sleeping Russian)

landscaping:
more beer, maybe some cigarettes

bookstore: ha ha ha ha.

library:
nothing, actually.

Sadly, I'm probably forgetting more than I'm remembering. What a dick. I'd also like to point out that over 90% of this stuff was stolen from YMCAs and Encore Books.

I worked in an army/navy store right after HS and man was I a klepto..That's what ya get when you pay people 5.35/hr., treat them like shit, and expect top notch work. I basically worked there for 4 years and when I left I was making 5.85/hr..But you name it, clothes, coats, hockey/basketball jerseys, camping stuff(although I kick my self for never getting a tent or sleeping bag) leather man tools, batteries, expensive long underwear for those long cold nights..You name it I took..And I was dumb enough to wear the stuff to work..They basically treated their employees like shit and, so we got compensated in other ways. I wouldn't do that shit now, but 18-21 years old..Hell yeah.

The only thing I try to steal from my employer now is internet time.

Damn cotton, impressive memory, did the sleeping russian awake and pound you?

never really had a job where i could steal that much. when i delivered pizza i had the cooks make up some extras for me and id drop them off at friends places or my own house. we used to also grab a ton of coupons that were for $5 off and add one to every cash order and pocket 5 bucks cash.

took some office supplies here and there. took some movies home from the rental place where I worked - not really stealing. made myself a bunch of espresso drinks when i worked at a cafe in college. overall not too egregious.

I had a lot of really shitty jobs that I loved. and loved to steal from.

no, but probably 10 days after that he was found passed out in his underwear.

in the woods.

clutching a different bottle of vodka.

by a group of 8 year old girls.

He was an foreign exchange counselor at the YMCA summer camp I worked at. shit, I could tell stories about the foreign staff at that place for days.

crazy ass Russians

Hmmmm...I guess the statute of limitations is through by now. I worked at Eckerd, and we took whatever we wanted -- cartons of smokes, condoms, 50 boxes of blunts, every magazine I wanted, random OTC drugs, drinkes, candy, and anything else I fucking wanted. When my buddy was named manager we took it to another level.

And, as always, the dudes who worked at subway next door would give us bags of sammies for cigs and other stuff.

That's nothing compared to college, when my boy Sonny Guns invented "The Loomis System." How we're not in jail, I still have NO IDEA.

Jesus, Cotton, you stole some huge things. I mean, rocking chairs?

And why on god's green earth do you need 35 of them noodles? Or did you just steal a case of them that was missing one?

who can tell? Better not to think about it.

rocking chairs were to decorate our summer porch.
I stole all the noodles and kickboards and threw them into a friend's pool to confuse him. It was a blurry summer.

the pot we found in a YMCA van. We didn't know about it at the time, but the next fall my buddy's boss there was arrested for having 85 lbs of marijuana on the grounds of the Y.

the other really heavy quantity pot dealer I knew of in high school was a Jamaican janitor at a synagogue.


camouflage.

Because you havn't lived half as hard as you allege. I like your hyperbole, though. As cemeterypolka's erstwhile boo, & prologue to danny don't rapp, Mr Verbal Intercourse put it, "JAIL4LIFE".

"Wow, you leave a couple of noodles in your pool, and overnight, they multiply!"

Keep telling yourself that