I'm pretty sure he's a batting coach for the Mets. I know it's a NL team. But I've been wrong once before.

At the first division?

I could see, maybe, roving minor-league instructor, but hitting coach for the big club... Damn.

Never.

He ain' no Mattingly -- meaning, Straw may be middling, but he's not well-liked, 'cause he's not white.

If Mattingly were black, he'd be Ellis Burks.

Yup, it's the Mets. Apparently he's mentoring the new, young players on the team. Recently asked about the steroid scandal: "I never saw anyone using steriods. Of course it's hard to see much of anything when smoke as much Crack as I did back then." Then he broke down in tears, and the reporter and cameraman backed away slowly.

I wonder if he looked like this in the interview:

Either that or what LT looks like when he turns on the waterworks. These guys have taken manipulation to a new level and should be commended. No drug, prostitute, or ridiculous amount of community service can stop these two. And like the rest of America, I'm okay with this.

Joe Borchard hit like 4 home runs in spring for the White Sox while only having like 6 hits.

Either way, Aaron Rowand is the shit.

AL : Mark Teixeira = 46
NL: Albert Pujols = 42

AL : Mark Teixeira = 48
NL: Adam Dunn = 50

The Vanilla Gorilla lives!

(Sorry, FT, for ripping you off. I know TVGL is your line... But, you know, I am shameless. Shaftless. A pissy hermaph who cannot take a hint.)