Funniest thread since I went overboard with repeat posts of the Eno pic, (at least to me).

Not sure whether to laugh or cry.

Aaahh...Hipinion.

Aaahhh...OPA...



Np - "Too Much Information" - Duran Duran

Tap-tap! You give a damn good shake! Kinda like a bad tempered mom hitting a kid in a supermarket.

Hey presto - no teeny drops.

QUAL!

I prefer to think of it as a lone man doing battle with an unwieldy python.

for me it is more like a child playing with a gummy worm

why do i continue to keep reading this thread?!

A+

it must be the lack of sleep.

yeah, but if you shake the thing too hard, it'll spatter all over your jeans/slacks/super tight jogging shorts.

ya gotta be gentle with it.

If you're gentle it means you're playing with it. I suggest smacking it roughly against the cold, dirty side of the porcelain, or butting it out like a cigarette on the urinal puck.

Yeah, I hate that.

Totally dude(tte)

Oh god, fuckin' hilarious! And why am I visualizing it??

if you want to know my urination tricks, you will have to pm me. moves this good you don't share for free.

Even Steven King has mentioned this problem in at least two novels:

“No matter how much you squirm and dance, the last two drops go in your pants.” - It.

“It matters not how much you jump and dance; the last two drops go in your pants.” - Desperation.

Wait, you mean to tell me that shirt hems aren't for blotting?

(Actually, like squeezing just a little too much out of a tube of ointment, if you squeeze the sides in just the right way, you can suck that drop back in. Ancient Chinese secret.)

This is why I sit down to pee.

Also, sometimes when I get a little over-zealous I shake it mightily and get a few drops on my pants. Then, in a "stroke" of genius, I decide to wash my hands intensely so I can then go and tell everyone that the faucet is crazy and sprays water everywhere. It's much easier to deal with socially.

As far as the cheese formation, I am pretty sure that the cheese is NOT from left over urine, rather from a dirty unclean uncircumcised man not washing after climax. How's that for gross?

Let's raise the roof for those who are not circumcized! woot woot.

<------unsnipped.

"Mom... Dad... Doctor... I want my foreskin back."

god damn. this is pure comedy.

reason #832 i'm glad i'm a girl.

But what about when there's no TP?

Also, do are the ladies of the board partial to the public stall hover manuever?

i am a seasoned professional and never allow myself to be in such situations.
i am quite phobic about public restrooms (for starters) and when i have to use them have a system for everything.
oh yeah, and i can hold it forever.

Cool.

Not me, I have the bladder of a six year old, and I don't believe in "holding it".

When the feeling hits, I go. Lord knows where I might end up 20 minutes from that first urge.

I quote King Tee: "Nigga you's a bitch, sit down when you piss"

Actually I don't care, that's just what popped into my mind.

Ayah, I too am loathe to use a public restroom, especially for #2. That dude in American Pie who goes home to go to the bathroom, that was me in HS.