she's probably the shortest non-dwarf i've ever seen.

and no 'walking-headjob' jokes, i've heard them all.

so whats the problem

crap it's already been touched upon

is the use of the word 'touched' some kind of pun that i'm yet to get? 'Cause if it is......

I would get an STD and then have sex with her. That would teach her a lesson.

Yeah, try to get one that doesn't affect men much but can cause women to get cancer, like HPV.

sign her up to a bunch of porn magazine subscriptions

holy fuck how did i not think of that?

You are a genius.

wait i just realised you said porn magazines, not porn websites. And junk-mail filters these days normally remove these from inboxes anyway...

from your description of her, I doubt she'd mind the free porn. she'd probably be thankful, and would kill everyone you know and love just to thank you for your charity.

THIS made me laugh.

You should have a few drinks and then go back to her place, tie her up and pull a Max Cady on her.

dude, she's the stalker, not me...

this does look kinda fun though

Have a double swishy latte and call her in the morning.

Go out with her, treat her like shit and cheat on her and she won't like you anymore.

yeah go out with her a few times, then take some skanky whore back to HER place when you know she's out and then let her catch you doing the deed.

though this has more than a possibility of happening...

If that happens then he'll be living the dream

except it means id have to be dating a fucking psycho who probably has a large collection of medieval weapons.

Do you have her picture?

Put her up on a skanky internet sex hook-up personals site.

You mean www.obner.org/bb?

Damn, how did DeNiro get into that kinda shape? He had to be pushin' 50 when that came out.

he could strangle someone to death with those bulging neck muscles alone.