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The "Pretty Penis" litmus test
It's Not Important 18%  18%  [ 3 ]
It's Somewhat Important 82%  82%  [ 14 ]
Total votes : 17
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 10:22 pm 
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In response to rparis:
would you want to eat a pussy that looks like your grandmothers? or a monster vagina as FP spoke of earlier?

guys have standards for women, too.


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 Post subject: Re: Pretty Penises: A Poll Mandated By blacklakebeauty
PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 10:24 pm 
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blacklakebeauty Wrote:
south pacific Wrote:
Girls, how important is it that your date has a pretty penis?


Oh, I thought this was going to be a multiple choice poll with pictures. Cause you know beauty is in the eye of the beholder. :wink:


If you behold it too long I'll glue your eyelids shut.

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 10:26 pm 
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Cap'n Squirrgle Wrote:
...Don't you guys sit around in next to nothing, occasionally scratching your taints? I would think you'd get ample time to kick the tires and check for blemishes.


Whoa there, padnuh. There is to be ABSOLUTELY NO KICKING OF THE "TIRES".

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 10:26 pm 
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not really sure what my grandmother's pussy looks like...and a monster vagina, that's fine. just wrap my dick in duct tape - for her pleasure.

seriously though - i've never found pussies to be very attractive so I just close my eyes and jump in.

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 10:28 pm 
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rpartridgeinapeartree74 Wrote:
never knew women were so picky about ugly penises. guess mine must be pretty cute. probably the little top hat I put on it.


Image


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 10:29 pm 
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rpartridgeinapeartree74 Wrote:
not really sure what my grandmother's pussy looks like...and a monster vagina, that's fine. just wrap my dick in duct tape - for her pleasure.

seriously though - i've never found pussies to be very attractive so I just close my eyes and jump in.


Penis's have always been prettier than vaginas. Vaginas are frightening.


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 10:31 pm 
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i ain't scared of em. you just gotta look it in the eye and tell it who's boss.

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 10:33 pm 
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pumachik Wrote:
if they know how to use it, then it's alright i suppose. if it's ugly, it's usually a 100% deal breaker... so shallow, i can't help it.


so you went from "you're crazy" to "i'm totally with you" in one post. how's that work?


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 10:34 pm 
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shiv Wrote:
check out the first image that comes up when you search for small penis in google.


Did you ever see the Smallest Penis Contest on Stern? Sweet Jesus. I walked a bit more confidently after seeing that.

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 10:35 pm 
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rpartridgeinapeartree74 Wrote:
i ain't scared of em. you just gotta look it in the eye and tell it who's boss.


I've always wondered why in sculpture in the past, the artists who were portraying figures from the upper class nude with extremely small genitals. Why did they do this? Through the past few months in art history, constantly looking at sculpture, I haven't yet seen a penis that was bigger than a AA battery.


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 10:36 pm 
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cemeterypolka Wrote:
rpartridgeinapeartree74 Wrote:
i ain't scared of em. you just gotta look it in the eye and tell it who's boss.


I've always wondered why in sculpture in the past, the artists who were portraying figures from the upper class nude with extremely small genitals. Why did they do this? Through the past few months in art history, constantly looking at sculpture, I haven't yet seen a penis that was bigger than a AA battery.


maybe it was really really cold when they were posing


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 10:39 pm 
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cemeterypolka Wrote:
rpartridgeinapeartree74 Wrote:
i ain't scared of em. you just gotta look it in the eye and tell it who's boss.


I've always wondered why in sculpture in the past, the artists who were portraying figures from the upper class nude with extremely small genitals. Why did they do this? Through the past few months in art history, constantly looking at sculpture, I haven't yet seen a penis that was bigger than a AA battery.


Jeff Stryker didn't invent Penis Pump technology until 1987 or so.

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 10:43 pm 
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rpartridgeinapeartree74 Wrote:

seriously though - i've never found pussies to be very attractive so I just close my eyes and jump in.


even really nice ones?
man. nothing better than a really nice one.

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 10:44 pm 
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Was CP measuring penii with a battery? An AA battery? in length or diameter?

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 10:49 pm 
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Elvis Fu Wrote:
cemeterypolka Wrote:
rpartridgeinapeartree74 Wrote:
i ain't scared of em. you just gotta look it in the eye and tell it who's boss.


I've always wondered why in sculpture in the past, the artists who were portraying figures from the upper class nude with extremely small genitals. Why did they do this? Through the past few months in art history, constantly looking at sculpture, I haven't yet seen a penis that was bigger than a AA battery.


Jeff Stryker didn't invent Penis Pump technology until 1987 or so.


Haha but really. Someone MUST have had a big penis back then.

Examples:
[img][268:500]http://harpy.uccs.edu/greek/sculpt/hermes.jpg[/img]
I see his balls, I don't see a penis anywhere.

[img][255:500]http://harpy.uccs.edu/greek/sculpt/satyr.jpg[/img]
He has the AA battery look going.

I just want to take this time to point out that in the Hellenistic period absolutely beautiful sculptures were created.

Look at these: Image

[img][326:500]http://harpy.uccs.edu/greek/sculpt/laocoon3.jpg[/img]


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 10:54 pm 
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chowgurt Wrote:
Was CP measuring penii with a battery? An AA battery? in length or diameter?


both


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 11:02 pm 
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At the same time, didn't a bunch of those artists diddle their apprentices? Maybe they misrepresented their genitalia so that they wouldn't get scooped up by some up-and-coming (oh my!) sculptor.

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 11:07 pm 
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rpartridgeinapeartree74 Wrote:
i ain't scared of em. you just gotta look it in the eye and tell it who's boss.

This is officially my new sig. Thanks, Rodney!


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 11:08 pm 
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Elvis Fu Wrote:
At the same time, didn't a bunch of those artists diddle their apprentices? Maybe they misrepresented their genitalia so that they wouldn't get scooped up by some up-and-coming (oh my!) sculptor.


you and your puns. I don't know. It's a possibility. Or maybe everyone had a small penis back then, and the large penis is just a product of evolution.


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 11:10 pm 
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*Looks down*

Guess I better start believing in Intelligent Design, then.

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 11:11 pm 
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I don't like this thread...mainly cause it's about peni

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 11:12 pm 
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paper Wrote:
I don't like this thread...mainly cause it's about peni


vaginas are briefly mentioned throughout the thread if that makes it any better..
and if you like sasquatch pussy.


Last edited by cemeterypolka on Mon Dec 05, 2005 11:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 11:13 pm 
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Elvis Fu Wrote:
*Looks down*

Guess I better start believing in Intelligent Design, then.



*Looks down*
Or reverse evolution.

*sigh*

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 11:18 pm 
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cemeterypolka Wrote:
Elvis Fu Wrote:
At the same time, didn't a bunch of those artists diddle their apprentices? Maybe they misrepresented their genitalia so that they wouldn't get scooped up by some up-and-coming (oh my!) sculptor.


you and your puns. I don't know. It's a possibility. Or maybe everyone had a small penis back then, and the large penis is just a product of evolution.


Well, people were a lot shorter back then, so maybe it's a proportional thing. Dunno, but I have wondered the same thing before. Nikea had small tits, tho. :lol:

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 11:22 pm 
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almost Wrote:
cemeterypolka Wrote:
Elvis Fu Wrote:
At the same time, didn't a bunch of those artists diddle their apprentices? Maybe they misrepresented their genitalia so that they wouldn't get scooped up by some up-and-coming (oh my!) sculptor.


you and your puns. I don't know. It's a possibility. Or maybe everyone had a small penis back then, and the large penis is just a product of evolution.


Well, people were a lot shorter back then, so maybe it's a proportional thing. Dunno, but I have wondered the same thing before. Nikea had small tits, tho. :lol:


have you seen the minoan snake goddess?

Image

Though not a depiction of a "real" woman... it proves that there were large breasted women back then.

Men just weren't as well endowned in their parts as women were with theirs then, I suppose.


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