I worked in a restaurant recently. I have a theory that all wait staff are not only incompetent and lazy but are extremely stupid as well. At the most recent job, one of the waitresses came up to me and my coworker in the kitchen. We were really dead at the time. And, as a cook, when it's dead and all the prep is done, you try and find things to do to make the time go by faster. So, what I was doing was counting, one by one, the croutons that we made earlier that day as I was placing them in their container.

The waitress asked me, "what are you doing?" To which I responded with a fake yet sincere sounding irritation in my voice, "I have to count the fucking croutons." Luckily my coworker was there to back me up when she initially argued the claim to be bullshit. After about 45 seconds we convinced her that we had to count the croutons in order to make sure that we were not cutting the bread too large or too small when making them. I got to about crouton #342 when she walked away shaking her head. Close to closing time, I heard her telling another waitress how crazy it was at the restaurant because we, the cooks, had to count the croutons one by one.

'counting croutons'.