how's that going, btw?

i'm not feeling it anymore... but it hasn't been that long anyway so time to move on. we come from 2 different worlds and the music thing is starting to get to me. seriously music IS my life - my career, social, etc. so if that person can't hang with that... i have to kick them to the curb. what is wrong with me!

Tania, I do not think you are too picky. Believe me, it's better to be choosy than settle for less.

Clearly, since I am married, I don't have any experience with the dating websites, but I do have friends who do the websites though. One of my girlfriends has done both match and eharmony, and hasn't had a ton of luck with either of them. She's met a lot of nice guys but no one that really "sparks." She's also coming out of a 19 year long relationship, and doesn't quite know what exactly she's looking for.

What about friends of friends? I mean, I know it's awkward if you date a friend of a friend, and then things don't work out, but sometimes the best people can be met through other friends with similar interests. I know you're socially active, so it seems that you would have have no problem going to parties where you didn't know a ton of people and mingling.

Another note-- When you're younger (say, early 20s), you tend to overlook a lot of bullshit that you see later in life. So I think as we get older and more experienced, we see things in people that we wouldn't necessarily put up with these days. Does that make you too picky? Not necessarily. Is it a deal-breaker? How irritating is the personality trait? Clearly, I don't think you need to be dating guys who want to "stay at home" all the time. As for the drug thing, that would need further clarification... maybe the guy(s) had a really bad experience with a friend who was seriously addicted.

Whatever happens, stick to your guns. Be open-minded about the things you can put up with (i.e. is it really so bad if someone squeezes the toothpaste from the middle vs. the end?) and those you can't (i.e. he likes to dip his wick wherever he can because he's a "love addict" and "addiction is a disease, baby").

edit: actually I find it funny when people say that they absolutely cannot date someone who does drugs. Have you ever met a FUN 12 stepper? I haven't.

btw, Tania, I think you should date this guy. Since I'm married and can't, I have to live vicariously through my friends, and this guy is HOTT!

Tom Boonen, World Champion, Road Race Cycling. Rides on the Innergetic/Quick Step Cycling Team. Belgian. Drinks. Young. Tall. Huge thighs.



or this guy, Dave Zabriskie (however, he's married too so that might pose a problem). Rides on the CSC Cycling team with another hottie, Ivan Basso.



I'm telling ya... be a bicycle betty and hit those races!

Hook it up, Dana! I like Tom over the other guy.

As for meeting friends of friends -- the friends that I went to HS with, forget it. They have nothing but femme friends or married friends. My ol' party crew (includes Dri), I've been MIA for awhile and know a lot of their friends. My more current crew -- the guys...sigh...I'd hit one of 'em, but we're more like family than friends; as for the girls, while they have great taste in music, I have never met any of their male friends. There's a new guy in our midst who I've KINDA flirted with, but my inner Gay-dar has been flashing the last couple of times we've hung out.

It's slim pickins, I tell ya. Plus, lotsa guys don't wanna date fat chicks no matter how sexy they are.

Well, it certainly appears that he knows the way to a woman's heart is knuckle deep.

i guess if it's important to you, no need to feel bad about it. you'll find a good one.

God, I hate to say it...but it's the same thing I was thinking :blush:

<<I know a few women who've had eharmony tell them they were 'too independent' or some such, and thus unmatchable>>

I just had a feeling from the commercial something was up with that site. That old dude seemed too smiley and oily. Like they only want squares. That would probably be an effective personal ad: 'if eharmony thinks you are unmatchable, you might be my kind of woman/man! '

<<There should be a music geek dating service. You put in your top five bands and you get matched with someone who has similar taste. No more blind dates with boys who only have Kenny Rogers and Lionel Ritchie in their cd player. >>

It certainly could be done like with that algorithm Amazon uses to predict what they think you want to buy. But then you'd have to watch out for users just out for one thing-- your record collection!


<<I can't stand someone who uses illegal recreational drugs. >>

Just say 'I prefer not to date anyone who uses illegal drugs'. It sounds too Ayatollahish to say I HATE YOU IF YOU TAKE DRUGS! If you are reading a personal and sense gratuitous hostility, you're thinking i bet there's something they hate about me too. next.


<<they have to love the grateful dead.....OR AT LEAST respect the fact that i do. >>

that is genius. you could spot both a sheep and a closed minded type with that question.

don't drag me into this.
i'm all about the recreational drugs.

I've shared this with a couple of you already, but thought to throw it out to the rest of you. Examples of profiles that have been 'matched' with my personality:

EXAMPLE #1:
The one thing mikel wishes MORE people would notice about him is:
I am simple. It is frustrating when people have preconceived notions locked in their minds before even meeting me. I am somewhat shy, and even a little aloof, but this comes across as intriguing, and intimidating, which is a joke. Me and my family, we are complete goofs, simple people.

One thing that only mikel's best friends know is:
I am extremely niave, and idealistic. I had a beautifully protected childhood. I did not have my first TV until I was 30, and it was a gift. I am extremely intelligent, but clueless about popculture, and the darker side of human nature. I am pleasantly eccentric because of this, and an idiot savant of sorts.

The above screams of "I'm a virgin, socially retarded and have been a hermit most of my life."

EXAMPLE #2:
The one thing Kent is most passionate about:
I am passionately caring toward people in my family. I am passionate about finding the right woman for me, and equally being, and becoming the best man I can be for her. I am passionate in that my greatest joy is making you feel good... whether that may be with something funny to see you smile, listening so you know I care, or with the touches that leave you breathing deep and being satisfied - I passionately love to make you feel good. I am passionate about honor and duty, faith and justice, and striving to follow what one's heart tells them is right.

The above is entitled "Let's see how many times I can incorporate the word 'passionate' and still come across sounding like a complete idiot in my paragraph".

Needless to say, they were sent to the garbage pile.

Augh, t. That first guy sounds clingy and scary and like he has an excuse for every shitty stunt he pulls.

The second guy, better, but only because he passively refuses to tell you anything about himself ('lets talk about you!'). You're supposed to like him becuase he likes you, and for no non-you-dependent reason at all. I hate that. I want more from a partner than them liking me.

I already had one of those boyfriends..."Tania, you're so beautiful, everything you say is right...Tania, I wrote poetry (godawful too) just for you..." It was nice for all of a couple of minutes, then it got old.

wow. what losers.
"passion for life" and "live life to the fullest" are two of the most overused phrases in the personals.
that and if i could be anywhere i'd be: "walking on the beach", "anywhere with you" or "staring into you eyes."
hahahahahaha.....

what a bunch of crap.
my other favorite is when people say they never lie.
puh-lease. everybody lies at one time or another. of course there's the little ones and the huge psychopathic ones but to say you never lie is a lie. i'm convinced.

When in doubt, leave it out.

I thought maybe Example #2 was offering me an oxygen tank or respiratory therapy.

"Breathe deep, the gathering gloom..."

eharmony paid for itself tonite!

I take it you had a successful second date?

Grrr...send some of your luck my day!!

Heh-heh...Dov got laid.

that was the funniest shit i've read in forever.

ladies, ladies, did you ever wonder that the problem could be you.
...

that said, to the ladies:

http://s63.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=0FYY ... 7MXJ9KMKKI

Hey Tanny, any updates?

I've bitten the bullet and made a profile myself. Not on eHarmony, though.

why do you hate the christians?