I've had several small sharts over the last few years. You can set a clock by my bowels, so if I'm not near a toilet in the morning, there is some prairie dogging / turtle head action.

The last time I distinctly remember letting something go was about 10 years ago after I'd done a lot of a certain sniffable substance which had to have been cut with baby laxative. Luckily I was near a bar bathroom and it didn't leave a stain in my pants.

i feel really close to all of you right now

"successful"

oh and my answer is 1981

oh man. that's the year i was born.

d-d-d-d-d-daddy?

I feel like it's not that hard to keep from shitting on yourself unless you're some kind of sweaty monster. No? It's really that hard?

Man, being a sweaty monster would be bad enough even if I wasn't shitting my pants all the time.

i feel like there is a difference... between pooping your pants... and letting out a tiny shart... im talking like a couple tiny drops of poo.

i haven't ever shit my pants to the point where it would be noticeable to the public.
as a potty trained adult.

yeah, this was a nice board we had here.

i've been too busy to post lately but this is the kind of thread that can get me out of mom's basement.

Cotton share a story or get the fuck out.

You are already a broken man. Gotta take more risks, brah.

2002: I don't remember the background, I just know I was living in a house where I parked in the alley in the back, did the Ed Grimley walk through the back yard, unlocked the door at the bottom of the stairs, hurried up to unlock the second door, but just before the key made sweet, sweet love to the lock, I fumbled them, and in slo-motion, I watched as they went Plinko halfway back down.

I gently surrendered.

man, i feel like i've shared this story here before. because i goddamn know i haven't shared it in real life.

2001. haystack golf course. early morning. wicked hangover after abusing jim beam the night before. 3rd hole. sphincter quaking. port-o-john on 6, or back to the clubhouse? i opt for the clubhouse. somewhere between the 2nd green and the putting practice green, i lose my battle, (hopefully) somewhat obscured behind a large oak tree. luckily there was a creek close by which may or may not still house my soiled boxers. regardless, it provided a nice clean up area.

incidentally, this golf outing was a job interview of sorts, for the job i still hold today.

mine was just a little bit of poo. not some regular unload or even one whole log. Prior to this happening, I hadn't shit my pants since i was a toddler and was just like some of you non-pants-shitters, pointing and laughing. Your day will come. You WILL poo thy pants and you WILL reveal all details on Obner. It's the right thing to do.

Shitting the pants during an interview AND getting the job. You can't hear it right now, but I am clapping my hands together. Bravo, good chap, Bravo.

8th grade/Football Camp/Northwestern State University

It's a five day camp, so I've been off my normal diet for awhile. Also, they worked the hell out of us all week, even the young 'uns. The reason that the shitting incident is not at the forefront of my memories of that week is because this is a camp that was guested for the full week by the likes of Franco Harris, "Mean" Joe Greene, Mel Blount, Joe Ferguson, Sidney Thornton, Pat Tilley, and several more NFL greats. On the final day of camp we have to go to the field at 10 AM to be timed in the 40. I'm down to my last set of clothes, a grey school t-shirt and a pair of white (yes, white) shorts. I'm out of undies so I'm only wearing a jockstrap and the shorts as I walk the quarter mile or so from the dorm to the field. About halfway there I feel a rumble coming on, it quickly descends, doesn't feel unusual, so I turn it loose. It was more than unusual. It was pure liquid. I pick up the pace, because the timers actually call you out when it's your turn, and if you're not there, someone comes looking for you. I make it to the field, and luckily, a bathroom with about 5 minutes to spare. I dash into the nearest stall to check the damage. Not good. No need to try and salvage the jock. Straight down the toilet it goes. Now for the shorts. About a 3X3" brown-rust colored stain has tainted them. I get them off and head for the sink where I start running hot water over the stain to get as much out as possible. While I'm standing there, wearing nothing but a grey t-shirt and a pair of cleats, who should walk in but two big guys that had to be seniors. They see what I'm doing, but I quickly duck my head and they don't ask any questions. I got 90% of the stain out, quickly slipped on the drenched shorts and headed out to the field. The same guys are in my group and though I think I heard a few mumbles and chuckles as I was called, I can't be sure that they ever were sure what was going on. Other than the fact that they saw me in the bathroom with my shorts in the sink and I show up minutes later with said shorts on and soaking wet, they would have to be idiots not to figure it out. I guess they were just decent guys or they could have hazed the shit out of the young guy.

it really was about as clean a drop through shorts that one could ever hope for. that and a long tennis tail on my golf shirt...no one in the foursome had a clue.

Damn, Fu's story had me crying.

i don't remember exactly. i think i was around 14 or so and was waiting for my dad and stepmom in the car while they were in the mall. i realized i had to go and ran into the nearest department store but didn't make it in time. finally found the bathroom and cleaned up as best i could. it wasn't a lot but enough to require more of a cleanup when i got home.

i will shit anywhere now if i really have to go.

Go thread go!

Shart in 1999 at Outback due to beer shits from the night before.

also, i usually always have baby wipes with me. plain tp is just nasty.

I only use them in extreme circumstances, but yeah. Always have a baggie with some of these in the backpack ready to go.

On tour we called this "the charge".

Once i saw the bassist from the Aquabats get a little "sick" on stage and shake a log out of his pants leg on stage right before we had to go onto the same stage. I felt bad for him.

how does your poor girlfriend deal with your disgracefulness?

holy christ