cotton Wrote:
alright....so as many of you are aware i'm getting ready to leave my job managing a cafe. As it so happens, there are a guy and a girl from the office building next door, both friends of mine to a degree, that ahave left their jobs as of this afternoon. They've been planning tonight for weeks now, and it involves crisscrossing the city tonight in a veritable orgasm of drunken behavior, drunk driving and poor planning. As one who's learned the lesson oh too well of drunken driving I told them I'd meet them at the bar up the street for a few drinks before they started this whole thing.
Please keep in mind that I know these people, but no more than you know the friendlier people you work with. A what's up in the morning and an "i'm gonna party my ass off tonight" in the evening. But we're friendly and I wanted to be there for their sending off. Well it turns out, the woman of this group was pretty hammered by the time i got there and proceeded to open up to me in the most insane torrent of confession I have ever yet to witness. She unloaded it all on me, how she was a stripper up until last year, bisexual, nymphomaniac, pain fetishist, she's sore from having sex with her tattoo artist last night, etc... pretty personal stuff from a girl who i know as relatively conservative "michelle from the office". She was doing body shots off of random guys in the bar (which is in essence a family restaurant)
When I look to Kevin (the guy she works with), it turns out h set up this entire night solely to watch her get wasted and dry-hump everything in sight. Kevin is dead sober and has volunteered to drive her around all night just so that later he can take her to the strip club and watch her dry-rape her stripper friends. He also gave her $100 in ones for ammunition. So yeah, he's psyched. I have three drinks and then leave as they're about to head to the next bar on their itenerary. On the way out we pass by the ice cream place next door (a cold stone creamery) where they have to break out into song when you tip them. Kevin dares Michelle to make them sing. So she goes in there, slams a fiver into the tip jar and demands that the poor girls behind the counter sing all five of the tip songs they know. They do this, with these louts cheering them on, and when they're done she not only flashes the staff but plants a big fat wet kiss on the register girl. At this point i'm embarrassed so i take off to my work so's I can pound espresso for the ride home and make sure nothing's burned down yet.
When I get inside there's like 15 people there all wasted and trying to get people to come back to a party their having later. Please bear in mind that it's only 8:00 or so and, after a 64 hour week i'm just ready to go home and pass out. But no. The two girls throwing the party, who I sort of know, are trying to get my girlfriend and I to go to their party, which is more or less a swinger thingy (I'm sure there's a word for this somewhere). The girlfriend and I are going into town tonight to check out some band that she's friends with from Pittsburgh. So I tell them thanks but I'm not really in that but to have fun and all that.
So I just got home, a bit wobbley, a note on the fridge says she and some friends have already gone down there and since I'm pretty beat up from the past week she assumed (correctly) that I'm not really in the mood for dealing with some bullshit band at the Khyber she figured I wouldn't really want to go.
so now i'm home alone with a fridge full of booze and most of my friends out or on the other side of the country. I plan on getting good and wasted, however, so I'm gonna sit here and type the shit out of this bitch since I'm freaking out and unable to smoke pot to calm myself down.
note: I swear to god i was making this all up. i was hoping to be in bed by 7:30 tonight. So I'm gonna do something I haven't done in awhile and just listen to a bunch of the new stuff on my iTunes and discuss what I hear as I descend into a stupor. I can assure you I'm well aware how pathetic drinking alone and posting on this board about songs everybody else has already heard is, but i'm too tired to get anby work done so cut me a fucking break. I'm gonna take a shower and crack a beer and be back in a few minutes.
someone call project greenlight.
