I have 12 sitches in my arm because someone didn't put their dog away.

So why don't I have an animal bite your bicep open and then you can poke the blood vessels and muscle gristle back into your arm and I'll rush you to the hospital to wait for a couple of hours while you're in shock and bleeding profusely and when someone finally gets round to seeing you we'll give you a series of innoculations and shots before stitching up the gaping wound in your arm.

And THEN you can all me a pussy.

People who are first in line at a red light/turning lane and end up sitting there when the light turns green.

You have a goddamn responsibility as the first person in line to get the train rolling. Especially when it's a quick turn lane light. You sitting there for 5 seconds cost me at 5th in line when 4 cars got through.

Happened this morning.


Living in Atlanta has made me an angry driver.

Haha. That shit don't happen in North Louisiana cause "Red" means 2-3 more cars can go through.

People who pronounce WimbleDon with a "T"

"Wimbletin"

DIE! DIE! DIE!!

I swear I said this exact same thing to my dad last week right after I was screaming out the passenger window, "GOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

I have horrible road rage, I'll still scream at people knowing full well they can't hear me. So most of my pet peeves involve driving.

One other I can think of..

People who stop in the middle of the aisle at the grocery store, blocking the entire thing, and stand there for a minute completely oblivious that someone is trying to get by.

Also, I'm horrible when it comes to quoting pop culture. But I tend to keep it under wraps if I'm around someone who I know probably won't get it. I keep it between my best friend and my girlfriend mostly.

When riding along the lakefront path, I want to steamroll the people who walk side by side in groups of four or six, nearly blocking both bike/walk lanes. It slows everything down and is pretty dangerous to get around when bikes/people are coming from every direction. And the lane blockers are typically very slow walkers with small children that dart into bike traffic.

Another pet peeve of mine is when people play live recordings at a high volume. Just like my roommate is doing now. Live Evan Dando B-sides so loud, I can hear it over my fan and typing. He's acoustic, so the music is turned up really loud and when the crowd starts cheering, it's like my apartment has become the United Center.

cranky jasmine.