spill it. Which one(s) of you all have been convicted of felonies.

I'm not saying.

I didn't know that sodomy was a felony.

The day before Fast Times at Ridgemont High opened nationwide, I got taken in for criminal tresspass, because the diving spot at our old fishing hole had become inhabited by a restaurant which did not care to be held liable for massive head injuries suffered by amateur Louganii with poor aim, and we didn't want to stop leaping from their premises (actually, just BELOW their premises). Had to see a juvy officer, but my record was expunged when I turned 18, so I guess for all intents and purposes I am expungeworthy.

When pledging my frat back in college, one component of our Austin-to-San Antonio scavenger hunt was to obtain pachyderm feces from the S.A. Zoo. The cops who caught us trying to surreptitiously gain access to the premises were more interested in making a massive DWI bust than pursuing Grand Theft Elephant Shit charges. I had not been drinking at that point, due to the massive amount of driving required, so the cops let me go. Thanks to frat herd mentality, I took a massive amount of grief from the entire house for having not joined my brothers behind bars. Sorry, but I don't think I'll be volunteering for a sympathy DWI.

And that is pretty much the extent of my criminal escapades...or at least those of which the fuzz became apprised.

I've gotten nabbed for bootlegging and drugs. Nothing too serious either time.

Not a felon. But been to jail a few times. Nothing serious.

Well, that's just troubling.

A load of stuff in my youth. Drugs, trespassing, car theft, public disorder. I was a right little shit.

did you inject an unconscious fan with las drogas ilegales?

No way, i was just taking blood for an art project.

Never convicted or caught on anything, but I did make Crimestoppers once.

Never nothin'.

I'm a pussy.

Arrested twice in late teens. Nothing that stuck.

I don't know why, but there's something very naughty about you. It's very sexy.

I've been to jail on many occassions, but a few times I had the 'get out of jail free' card i would use, or if you roll doubles on any of your next three turns, you get out as well....

No, i only get tickets for DWB (driving while black), but the pigs never seem to believe me when i tell them i'm a safe little dothead.

Nope, I'm a good girl (although if making catty remarks were a crime, I'd probably have a 20 year sentence).

I wish I had more time to write you a little story...

i almost got "kicked out of school" (or so said the lady) for smoking a cigarette in the dining hall of my dorm. i actually got kicked out school twice for other things, though.

and i got an expensive drinking ticket once.

I've never been arrested. I should have been busted for an open container one time at the park across the street from my house and nearly got caught peeing on the biology building while I was in college. Both times the cops spotlighted me, but didn't notice I was there or just ignored me.
The greatest amount of police harassment I have dealt with was with practicing with a band during college and skateboarding on private property as a teenager.

been to jail a few times.

been arrested once. never been to jail though. nor did i ever get caught for anything i did back in the day... i got away with a LOT of shit. kicked out of 2 high schools... man i was a troublemaker.