now, i can't top this, but i had a few of my own, namely:

1) i thought that all animals came in gender pairs like this

• men and women
• horses and cows
• dogs and cats
• lions and tigers (not sure where i got this one)

2) I thought that Lutherans worshipped or followed my uncle Luther, who lived in the upstairs bedroom at my great grandmother's farm house and peed into a pot which he tossed out the window, leaving a yellow trail down the white wooden slats of the house. i was greatly relieved to learn the truth at, like, 20.

anyone else this stupid? just me?

i thought 'grilled cheese' sandwiches were actually called 'girl'd cheese' sandwiches.... and i always ate them because, well, because i am a girl.

I thought this white plantation home in Houma was the actual White House where the president lived.

i once asked a teacher why south and north america don't float apart due to the panama canal?

I thought that Al Jolson actually was black.

Black-face never occurred to me as a rationale.

I didn't quite get the difference between Vets (veternarians) and Vets (those who have served in the armed forces).

Steve

The only thing I knew about Jews was that they eat bagels. I ate lots of bagels so I thought I was Jewish.

Before, I took sex ed, I thought men peed in women and that's how babies came about. Then, later in my teenage years, I learned that men do indeed pee in women, but for entirely different reasons.

1. Girls don't have a penis
2. Girls sit when they pee

ergo:

3. Girls pee out their butt

God, if I thought about it, I could come up with a million of these.

First one that came to mind: I once got a handful of peanuts and kept opening and closing my hand somehow expecting a Snickers bar to majically appear like on the commercial.

That Lutherans' one is a pisser. (no pun inteneded.

Growing up in long Island, and hearing people talking about goig on vacation to Jamaica and how lovely and tropical it was.....

but then taking the LIRR into NYC and having to stop and transfer at the Jamaica station, I never understood why people wanted to vacation in such a shitty dirty place....

I WILL PEE IN YOUR BUTT!!!!


I thought that Clutz = Sluts..and called my sister and brother sluts at the dinner table. ONCE.

LOL!

I only remember mis-hearing things that my parents slurred, for example:

winshoe wipers (instead of windshield)
next store (instead of next door)

i always thought that if you froze milk.....it would turn into icecream. and could never figure out why it didn't work.

and milk was actually vanilla flavored.

I, too, once called my sister a "lucky slut" (unsure of where I heard that phrase). My dad made me look up slut in the dictionary. It didn't help that I wasn't familiar with the term "prostitute" either....

As a kid, I saw footage of a gay pride parade on the local news, and assumed that all gay men wear makeup and dress in majorette costumes.

This one still baffles me to this day....

I thought that jumping made you taller, hence basketball players all being so tall...

It doesn't work.

I used to think that poop was stored in your buttcheeks and every time you pooped it would alternate coming out of each cheek.

no misconception there.

I grew up in the 1970's in a conservative poor Baptist family in a rural Maine town of 1,200. The misconceptions I had about everything until after age 10 are far too many to list. Needless to say, I set out to discover a truckload of things later on.

When I was a kid it was common knowledge that if you swallowed chewing gum it would 'tangle' around your innards and you would die.

I heard that if you swallowed watermelon seeds, one would grow inside you.

[img][367:500]http://www.msstate.edu/Images/Film/WoodyAllen.jpg[/img]

"Dad?"

Y'all were stupid kids, seriously.


I remember my little brother asking me if English was the "universal" language of the world, meaning that everyone first learned English then other languages later if they wanted to.

He also believed me when I told him that JELL-O was made from dead jellyfish.