i am very stressed.

i'm at the library, now going on my twelveth hour of studying today, and probably 30th something of the week, writing a paper that is due tomorrow that i should have finished days ago. it's taking me way longer than i thought, but i'm almost done, which is good considering i have yet to start on my 25 page research paper that is due on friday. my hands are shaking because i popped two adderall at 9 PM, it's stiflingly hot in here and the lights are too bright. sleep does not look likely. ever. and i could really use a fucking drink right now.

ok, that's all, carry on.

as much as i like to bitch about my job, i soooo do not misss school!

how I miss the multiple all-nighters. I find that writing 25 pgs. in a day produces strong product.

the key to adderall is small bumps

haha, but it still makes your nose run blue.

and yeah, i usually work better under pressure, but right now i feel completely overwhelmed. and that is not really conducive to anything productive.

yeah, i know what you're saying. i've read a semester's worth of material in one ridiculous speedy haze. all i can advise is try to just focus on the task at hand, don't think about what you've got to do next. take a minute to relax after you're done with this first paper, you deserve it.

Just finished up a paper for a seminar last night, straight into a 2.5 hour logic test tonight and from there to finishing up the research paper that I'm still working on right now.

The week before finals certainly blows.

yeah, tell me about it. i'm just finishing up my first semester of law school--4 finals, and all of them are the only thing that determines my grade, which determines class rank, summer internships, entire future, etc.

can i vent too?
my tummy hurts.
and i'm awake because of it.
and i'm reeeeeally tired. i need sleep.

I have a group project due tommorow and I don't know anyone in my group and despite my attempts to email them I havent got in touch with them yet and will probably end up doing all of it myself. Plus I have two novels to finish before the end of the week that I haven't started on.

That's fucked up.

You're being a bit overly dramatic. I've found in life that there's few holes that one can't dig their way out of if one tries hard enough. And if anyone cares what grades you got in grad school 3-5 years out, then the grades you got are probably the least of your problems.

As someone with a little more life experience than most students I can confirm this is absolutely true. I certainly won't be missing any sleep over my exams or papers. I'm not saying I won't be trying (I worked really hard to get into a good university as a mature student) but at the same time I don't have the fear of some apocalyptic future just because I got a upper C for an essay or whatever.

damn, that sucks. on a brighter note, you guys are starting to make me feel a little better.

Hi Ficky!

On another note, I talked to the guy that is on the board of the Special Olympics and he said he would get some names for you to contact if you are still interested....

It's 12:45am, just got home from a gig and need to update my resume. I get up at 5:30am. Caffeine will be my salvation in the morning.

Best of luck, Ficky! You're gonna be just fine.

You kids are letting us old non-parental types down. I can remember having a 20 page paper due (unstarted) the next day and accepting tickets to see the Mighty Lemon Drops on the Inside Out tour 100 miles away.

So I suffered a 10 hour day on my start time, typed it from scratch on a typewriter (not a computer) while drunk from scratch, and got a C. I guarantee you I remember the concert much more than I would remember the damn paper or any benefit a few extra points on my overall gpa that taking that paper seriously could have obtained.

The trick is make dean's list at least once to prove you can do it and then coast as long as you make sure you actually graduate.

np: Gil Scott-Heron "Pieces of A Man"

see the problem here is that i did my fair share of fucking around and fucking up, and got kicked out of school (twice) for it. i've got about three weeks of college left, and i'm actually trying to make the dean's list this semester.

i've also developed a pesky little problem of not being able to turn in shitty work. compulsive, borderline-perfectionism, the inability to just breeze through things. i have no idea where it came from or why.

chow- that would be amazing!! i promise i'm going to send you a PM when all this craziness is over.

This is apparently a relatively new phenomenon, no? Otherwise your post taken as a whole doesn't make much sense.

that avatar is the perfect exclamation point for everything you say.

You have bigger things to worry about than that right now girl! I'll let you know what happens as soon as I find out anything OK? but for now, nose in the books!

Later!

well, kind of... without going into too much detail, i know i had those tendencies before, but i would often get frustrated if i felt like i wasn't living to my own standards, doing something as well as i knew i could. so i just wouldn't do it at all. if that makes any sense.

i have different priorities now, though, and more driving factors to get things accomplished for myself.

or something. am i still typing?

do you ever sleep?

Ficky - hang up the internet and get back to work!

Is this a continuation of the flu thing D? Are you feeling better? shall I rub your tummy for you?