"once a cheater, always a cheater."

Not necessarily.

I'm gonna cop out and say yes and no. I know some people who are just born cheaters, and they'll never change. But I also know some people who have cheated after their marriage had already fallen apart or something to that effect. They're quite capable of not cheating and have shown themselves over time to be that way.

Once a smoker, always a smoker.

Cheating is a character trait. Not everyone would do it, but those who would do it once, would think it's OK to do it again.

I don't agree with this.

Usually, but not always.

For the most part, yes. It's a pattern of behaviour that's difficult to change. What OPA said pretty much nails it. Personality characteristics are practically impossible to modify.

How so? People who have cheated at least once in their lives are more likely to cheat than people who have never cheated. It's in the person. Some people would never even think of cheating, won't even give it a second thought. If you decide to cheat once, there's always the possibility that you are capable of cheating again.

A bigger question is why do guys and girls go out with guys that cheated with them on their respective bf and gf? Do you think you are uncheatable?

I'm touchy with this subject having been a victim of a cheating gf, who broke my heart and pushed me to darkness for like 4 months.

People cheat for various reasons not only because it's their character(it can be).I know someone who cheated b/c they were dealing with insecurity issues. Eventually she worked that out, and has never shown that behavior again.

i'm going to say no. i've cheated before, been cheated on, been the "other" woman... lesson be learned it's something that i don't ever want to deal with again.

if i ever feel the temptation that i'm going to cheat, i break it off immediately. what's the point of being with someone if you cannot remain loyal? why would i ever put someone through that pain again? (nor would i ever want that pain endured on me again either). why do you think i haven't been in a serious relationship for so long? i just wasn't ready to commit.

granted, situations do come up where you're tempted, but YOU'RE ONLY HUMAN and it's natural to feel these tendencies.

smart lady! See, if more people were like you, this world would be a better place relationship-wise. So simple, yet profoundly complex.

I believe reform is possible, but rare. If a sufficiently bad thing happened as a result of cheating, I would suspect that the person could be sufficiently mortified never to do it again. But I'd want to know about it. And not necessarily from the presumably ex-cheater.

that was the exact reason i cheated. as lame as it sounds, at the time i had some serious insecurity issues. eventually i worked those out because i realized the type of guys i was dating were the reasons why i felt that way.

i also cheated out of revenge. he cheated on me first, so i felt i needed to do it back. boy, was i ever stupid.

I understand that but...it ultimately depends on a person's character of whether they'd cheat or not. Cheating because you're insecure is not accurate. There are millions of people who are insecure who would never approach the subject of cheating. To me, cheating is a decision you make. Not a result of your insecurities.

Will agree to disagree. People handle situations differently. Everything in life is choices you make to some extent. But choices don't always define the person.

I used to do it but then my nephew caught me trying to get the card outta my sleeve and i got slapped.

So no, cos i would never do it again.

I learnt my lesson

no.

No, what?

To some degree, I agree with the statement. People clearly learn from their mistakes, but there are also people out there who are so self-absorbed, they just want what they want when they want and fuck everyone else's feelings.

Having said all this, I have never cheated on anyone. (I was the "other woman" once, but I didn't know it until after the fact).

word.

cheat in bad relationships that are already pretty much over but don't cheat in ones that are strong? maybe?

Now you've backed off from your original statement a bit. Sure they may be more likely and there's the possibility to cheat again, but that doesn't mean they will. Some people have seen how wrong it is and how much it can hurt others, and are "reformed" (and wouldn't necessarily think it's OK to do it again).

Sorry to get all lawyerish on you, but those two things are very different in my mind (that they're likely to do it vs. they will do it).

Anyone can and will cheat given a reason/situation.

I've never been presented with a reason or a situation where I would be comfortable doing it, but don't kid yourselves.

It's like asking if humans are inherently good or evil. Look at your own life and you'll probably think that you're inherently both.