OPA! presents to you all, Lubes

Stop Breathin' · **Posted:** Fri Jan 06, 2006 12:55 pm

gonna have to wait for OPA on this one.

thread-clogging complainers, bite me.

Cotton · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 6:12 pm **Posts:** 17155

wow a mock thread. that's about OPA being gay.

OPA! · **Posted:** Fri Jan 06, 2006 1:01 pm

K-Y Jelly, but as I like to call it, K-Y Gelee...

Stop Breathin' · **Posted:** Fri Jan 06, 2006 1:02 pm

cotton Wrote:

wow a mock thread. that's about OPA being gay.

i figured if take all the board's originality and combine it.

daystar · **Joined:** Sun Apr 17, 2005 10:14 pm **Posts:** 3298

cotton Wrote:

wow a mock thread. that's about OPA being gay.

heh. i didn't even KNOW until, like, two weeks ago.

OPA! · **Posted:** Fri Jan 06, 2006 1:10 pm

DayStar Wrote:

cotton Wrote:

wow a mock thread. that's about OPA being gay.

heh. i didn't even KNOW until, like, two weeks ago.

Well, just to bring you up to speed...the gay men of the board: Me

, Vincent, Harry, Yail Bloor, and Hideous Lump. There, now you know.

daystar · **Joined:** Sun Apr 17, 2005 10:14 pm **Posts:** 3298

heh. i knew about all but you. :lol:

(just kidding, yail.

)

OPA! · **Posted:** Fri Jan 06, 2006 1:17 pm

DayStar Wrote:

heh. i knew about all but you. :lol:

Hmmm...I must not mention it enough. I'll have to remedy that.

daystar · **Joined:** Sun Apr 17, 2005 10:14 pm **Posts:** 3298

nah. you know what, i think i'm the only person who didn't know.... so, you can tone it down now. the message is out.

i'm just a little oblivious sometimes.

ayah · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 12:03 pm **Posts:** 6402

DayStar Wrote:

.... so, you can tone it down now....

THIS...is funny.

wenchlette · **Posted:** Fri Jan 06, 2006 2:24 pm

[obligatory] Wait, OPA!'s gay? [/obligatory]

Red House Vincent · **Posted:** Fri Jan 06, 2006 8:18 pm

I used know a guy who was obsessed with this shit. And it ain't cheap, either. The scariest/funniest thing was what it said on the case:

____

Stroke 29, Empowered Products' premium cream lubricant, is designed to take masturbation to a whole new level. Unlike Silicone- and water-based lubricants, this thick, non-greasy formula provides more than just wet slipperiness. After years of research, our team has developed a lubricant that gets better the longer you use it. As the cream heats up from repetitive stroking of masturbation, the product texture transforms at or around the 29th stroke to simulate the sensation of aroused human tissue. With the combination of heat and friction, a guy might actually forget he's using his own hand. Stroke 29 provides a glide unlike any other masturbation lubricant available. The product's viscosity stays intact and doesn't break down during its transformation, so there is no need to re-apply. Stroke 29 skin-beneficial almond oil, Aloe Vera and Vitamin E and is fragrance- and irritant-free. Not recommended for use with latex condoms. Approximately 60 applications per jar.

____

(All First Impressions Of Earth Jokes Can Go Below This Post, now.)

Dalen · **Posted:** Fri Jan 06, 2006 8:42 pm

Vincent Wrote:

I used know a guy who was obsessed with this shit. And it ain't cheap, either. The scariest/funniest thing was what it said on the case:

____

Stroke 29, Empowered Products' premium cream lubricant, is designed to take masturbation to a whole new level. Unlike Silicone- and water-based lubricants, this thick, non-greasy formula provides more than just wet slipperiness. After years of research, our team has developed a lubricant that gets better the longer you use it. As the cream heats up from repetitive stroking of masturbation, the product texture transforms at or around the 29th stroke to simulate the sensation of aroused human tissue. With the combination of heat and friction, a guy might actually forget he's using his own hand. Stroke 29 provides a glide unlike any other masturbation lubricant available. The product's viscosity stays intact and doesn't break down during its transformation, so there is no need to re-apply. Stroke 29 skin-beneficial almond oil, Aloe Vera and Vitamin E and is fragrance- and irritant-free. Not recommended for use with latex condoms. Approximately 60 applications per jar.

____

(All First Impressions Of Earth Jokes Can Go Below This Post, now.)

ok, i'll be the first pervert to say i'd love to test this shit out.

Yail Bloor · **Posted:** Fri Jan 06, 2006 8:42 pm

OPA! Wrote:

Well, just to bring you up to speed...the gay men of the board: Me

, Vincent, Harry, Yail Bloor, and Hideous Lump. There, now you know.

1-06-06-----it's still Exit Only. Sorry.

OPA! · **Posted:** Fri Jan 06, 2006 8:47 pm

Dalen Wrote:

Vincent Wrote:

I used know a guy who was obsessed with this shit. And it ain't cheap, either. The scariest/funniest thing was what it said on the case:

____

Stroke 29, Empowered Products' premium cream lubricant, is designed to take masturbation to a whole new level. Unlike Silicone- and water-based lubricants, this thick, non-greasy formula provides more than just wet slipperiness. After years of research, our team has developed a lubricant that gets better the longer you use it. As the cream heats up from repetitive stroking of masturbation, the product texture transforms at or around the 29th stroke to simulate the sensation of aroused human tissue. With the combination of heat and friction, a guy might actually forget he's using his own hand. Stroke 29 provides a glide unlike any other masturbation lubricant available. The product's viscosity stays intact and doesn't break down during its transformation, so there is no need to re-apply. Stroke 29 skin-beneficial almond oil, Aloe Vera and Vitamin E and is fragrance- and irritant-free. Not recommended for use with latex condoms. Approximately 60 applications per jar.

____

(All First Impressions Of Earth Jokes Can Go Below This Post, now.)

ok, i'll be the first pervert to say i'd love to test this shit out.

And I'd love to watch.

Dalen · **Posted:** Fri Jan 06, 2006 8:50 pm

OPA! Wrote:

Dalen Wrote:

Vincent Wrote:

I used know a guy who was obsessed with this shit. And it ain't cheap, either. The scariest/funniest thing was what it said on the case:

____

Stroke 29, Empowered Products' premium cream lubricant, is designed to take masturbation to a whole new level. Unlike Silicone- and water-based lubricants, this thick, non-greasy formula provides more than just wet slipperiness. After years of research, our team has developed a lubricant that gets better the longer you use it. As the cream heats up from repetitive stroking of masturbation, the product texture transforms at or around the 29th stroke to simulate the sensation of aroused human tissue. With the combination of heat and friction, a guy might actually forget he's using his own hand. Stroke 29 provides a glide unlike any other masturbation lubricant available. The product's viscosity stays intact and doesn't break down during its transformation, so there is no need to re-apply. Stroke 29 skin-beneficial almond oil, Aloe Vera and Vitamin E and is fragrance- and irritant-free. Not recommended for use with latex condoms. Approximately 60 applications per jar.

____

(All First Impressions Of Earth Jokes Can Go Below This Post, now.)

ok, i'll be the first pervert to say i'd love to test this shit out.

And I'd love to watch.

at 11:15 pm tonight, the 3rd East window of my house will have the shade open on the right side. but shhhhh....be quiet. i have neighbors.

rogneeb · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 1:07 pm **Posts:** 12618

SpontaneousPoet Wrote:

[obligatory] Wait, OPA!'s gay? [/obligatory]

when I first joined the board he wasn't.

OPA! · **Posted:** Fri Jan 06, 2006 9:03 pm

rparis74 Wrote:

SpontaneousPoet Wrote:

[obligatory] Wait, OPA!'s gay? [/obligatory]

when I first joined the board he wasn't.

Actually, I don't think I've ever mentioned this. Carnivalkid, I dunno if people remember him from CMJ, was a huge factor in me coming out. I had met him in person and we talked and stuff, and I made the decision soon after that to come out to my friends and family. So there you have it, Rodney.

MontyTheMongoose · **Posted:** Sat Jan 07, 2006 12:03 am

Yail Bloor Wrote:

OPA! Wrote:

Well, just to bring you up to speed...the gay men of the board: Me

, Vincent, Harry, Yail Bloor, and Hideous Lump. There, now you know.

Effective 6.1.06: Yail Bloor, still GNA.

Red House Vincent · **Posted:** Sat Jan 07, 2006 2:31 am

Dalen Wrote:

ok, i'll be the first pervert to say i'd love to test this shit out.

I'll save you some time and let you know that the reall reason it's called Stroke 29 is that you'd be the dumbass paying $29 for something that looks like (and probably feels like, but I don't have that much time on my hands) Noxzema....thank god it wasn't my money. :roll:

HideousLump · **Posted:** Sat Jan 07, 2006 3:35 am

OPA! Wrote:

Carnivalkid, I dunno if people remember him from CMJ, was a huge factor in me coming out.

Did you use your Carnival cruise line on him?

[/apologizesprofusely]

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