when i get embarrassed, i need to tell someone about it so it's not as embarrassing, but moreso funny or.. something. i don't know.
one time i tripped and fell onto a gas pump and had nobody to laugh with, and when i went to pay the cashier was howling laughing at me.

anyways.. on present terms... this girl i've been on bad terms with because i disagreed with some of her actions pertaining to important people in my life, well, i've been on better terms with her. i asked her to hang out before we hang out in a group later tonight. i thought maybe it'd be a nice offer and it'd be appreciated and she'd tell me yes or no or something. she completely ignored what i asked and didn't say yes or no and i sent her a message saying "well if you want to go i'm leaving in a half hour, give me a call if so. if not i'll see you at 9" and she said "bye" and...
i haven't dealt with rejection in a while. that's the worst kind. the "i'm going to pretend they didn't ask me anything" kind of rejection.
so i'm embarrassed. it's like being rejected by someone you want to go on a date with.
only i don't want to go on a date with her. i just wanted to try and make things better between the two of us.
oh well. atleast i tried.

anyone else have this shit happen? i feel dumb and like i shouldn't have asked.

haha hey now. it means nothing.

You did the right thing, nothing to be embarassed about.

Now if the opportunity arises to reverse the situation, do it.

Revenge is awesome. Unless you want to take the high road and make her feel like shit. That's good revenge too. Maybe even better revenge.

coincidentally i'm listening to "You Fucked Up" by Ween. "you fucked up, you bitch, you really fucked up"
those were old feelings. i have not forgotten, but have tried my best to forgive what's been done to the people i care about. but i mean.. we have two months left in high school, i'd love to be remembered as the "i'll fuck up your shit if you mess with my friends" girl but i'd also like to be nice.
i don't know... i thought at first maybe it'd be awkward if we hung out but she has a bubbly personality and i think it'd be just fine.
so i asked. i thought it was a nice idea.
oh well. i'm going to the record store alone.
atleast i have a cute outfit. black tanktop, white lacy tanktop underneath. dark jeans, black pointy toed pumps.

and converse for when i go bowling.

You are the better person, she can go to hell. Now you know and knowing is half the battle.

I love this girl!

Though not in an Ayah way.

aww

i actually felt remotely cute tonight. i already have my outfit planned for tomorrow. new ween t-shirt with brown and plaid skirt (same one i wore with black shirt) and white pumps.
i guess i shouldn't post that. i want to attempt to "wow" bluemilk. verbalintercourse. whatever.

oh well. tonight was a lot of fun. i thought about saying "i asked you if you wanted to go to carytown with me but i guess you didn't get my message" but i just figured, i knew she got it, and she obviously ignored it for a reason.
so whatever. i attempted to build some sort of friendship or something. i had fun with her tonight but i guess she doesn't want to hang out with me outside of a group.

hee hee

i laughed too... but it was because i was embarrassed as hell and had nobody to laugh with me.
except the fucking cashier. i can't blame him though. my foot slipped off of the ledge where the pump is located and i fell face first into the machine.
i caught myself, though.

remember, revenge is a dish best served cold.

but remember, you got to do it classy

like a bottle of champange

[Jerry]"A revenge date? I dunno...that sounds more like you than me."[/Jerry]

i wish i could have found the actual image of george wiping his mouth on his collar as he delivers the line. one of my favorite seinfeld moments.