seriously, is it based on who gives the better gifts or what. because i feel like i'm going to lose this negotiation.

What are your choices?

i assume her parent's house vs my parent's house.

neither... start your own traditions at home, is what I say! But that's coming from someone who lives across the country from said families.

Ugh. Stay home and have a nice romantic Xmas dinner or something.

isn't there a law or something keeping you from having an opinion on this?

yeah, my parents never had that problem because we always lived in a remote part of the country and my dads parents lived in britain. so we just stayed at home all the time, and i can say that comparing that with the christmases ive spent with the rest of my family that the ones at home are a lot better. maybe its because i dont really like the rest of my family.... anyway, im flying back today, so im fairly happy about that.

If that was a joke, it was a pretty good one.

you have to bring in thanksgiving and negotiate from there.

I'm Jewish.
She's Lutheran.
So it's easy for us... we spend it with her parents, at our place.

One way to solve it though would be to do X-Mas Eve with one family and X-Mas Day with the other, if you can't combine the two. Then, if it really matters to anybody, switch it around the next year.

Last year we were in NH to visit his family for xmas.

This year we aren't seeing them at all during the holidays.

We agreed that we switch off each year, or work it so that we go on xmas morning out to NH next year cause of my son and all.

I actually come from divorced parents and have a child from a divorce so me and my ex being remarried each to a person who's family is out east is kind of sticky now. It's a pain in the ass.

Chase, is her family near? Then if so I suggest maybe splitting up xmas eve with one family and xmas day with the other.

nah, they're in RI. my fam is much cooler and closer.

well then maybe this year stay close to home with your family and maybe next year go out there.

This way it keeps everyone happy. And if they start to get on your nerves next year you can always just make it a one day trip. Like xmas eve to xmas afternoon and fly back.

we do everything with her family, and make a visit to my family briefly, but her family is a lot more fun, and have normal christmases, whereas my family just fasts and prays and goes to church alot for a week.

Thanksgiving is a normal holiday at my parent's house. We usually go to her family's on Thursday, and then mine on Friday. Double thanksgiving is cool.

As far as I can see in regards to your negotiation, you have no bargaining chips because you're not the woman.

yeah, this is becomming a running theme.

Get used to it big guy. That's the way that the world goes round.

Just remember... half of pussy whipped is pussy. Except in my rare case.

lucky me, i've got myself a woman who hates traveling for holidays almost as much as i do.
we havent been out of the hood for xmas or thanksgiving in years, and usually just invite people to come around whenever it's convenient.
xmas is eve is for drinking with friends, and xmas day is for sitting around in pajamas doing fuck-all.

I got divorced. That took care of that problem.

When I was married, we went to one place one year, and the other the following year, and usually stayed home for Thanksgiving (being long distance from both families). Once kids are in the mix, that probably won't work as well, but I don't know your specific situation (what your in-laws are like, etc.). All I can say is: good luck.

Well, we alternated families annually until this year.

This year, we're ditching everyone and going boozing in Miami.
Which is awesome.

Take that.

- T

np: I Am Kloot

my wife decides where we go, which is fine by me.

usually her parents, which i enjoy because her mom is a superb cook.

We have been alternating - one year we have Thanksgiving here in OR and Christmas in NC, then switch it up.

This year - since nearly all of my family is dead or in communicado, we are going to go to NC even though we went last year. We usually do something with both sides - just might be before or after the actual day.

We hit up both since our parents only live like 1 hour from each other.

Having my family over 800 miles away pretty much settles which side of the family we spend the holidays with.

It would be nice to spend them one year with my parents, but, we're not driving and I'm not putting up with the airports in the holiday rush.

Steve

We alternate - this year, we're spending Christmas with my family, but then going to Maine from January 4th - 11th to visit with Laura's family. Since we just had our Christmas yesterday, this means we will have several different small Christmases, which pretty much rules.

I guess I'm not the typical girl then, because I absolutely hate spending the holidays with my family. My husband (then boyfriend) spent every Christmas with my family during the college years, just because we were both in Atlanta and his parents were in Utica, NY. After we moved away, we spent exactly one Christmas at his sister's house in Delaware, and then the next Christmas at my parents house in Atlanta (we lived in Oregon at this point). Not only is going home for the holidays exhausting in itself--seriously, I felt like I needed a real vacation after that trip-- but having to deal with all the rednecky aspects of my family is mind-numbing (i.e. like Northern Soul said, I don't necessarily like my extended family). We both swore after that last Christmas at home that we wouldn't go to either family's house. To be fair, both his parents and my parents have come out for the holidays to spend them with us in Oregon. This will be the first Christmas since living in Oregon that we'll be on our own, and quite frankly, I'm looking forward to it. More mimosas for me on Christmas morning, ha ha.