Some local radio guys came up with a list of the worst 80 songs of the 1980s. Whether or not you agree with them, some of the reasonings are pretty funny. List can be viewed here.

Although I haven't heard "Mr. Sandman" by Emmylou Harris, I'm not sure I agree with the guy's complaint that she should have updated the sound so it sounded more "80's." That sounds like a really bad idea.

Where's T'Pau? Where's Stacey Q? Where's Taco? Where's Teena Marie?

but yes, I agree with all of that list. Some of the songs I don't even know.

I won't argue with any of those choices - although, even though I don't like it, I'm sure I could find a hundred songs worse than "Emotional Rescue".

Glad to see Bowie and Jagger's "Dancing In The Streets" on there. Bowie keeps dodging that particular bullet in everyone's rush to claim him a genius. But bullseye, man, bullseye.

i dont think I have heard more than a few of those songs - at least I cant recognize by name. they sound pretty fucking horrible though.

For those interested, their top 80 of the 80s list can be read here.

Amen.

yeah, that one's pretty much their post-coital cigarette--somehting they should have shared between themselves and with NO ONE ELSE.

I recognize quite a few on the list, and they're all pretty bad. Some good-bad, some just plain old bad-bad. 'Boy in the Box' is good-bad to me, because that chorus is so insanely ridiculous and he was always sullen and puckery with his spikey hair.

Shoot Komrade Kiev, oh-oh.

i was shocked to see Police – "Don't Stand So Close To Me '86" ranked so high.


there are WORSE songs then that version

I really like Sunglasses at Night and Emotional Rescue, so he's wrong on those two. While I'm not a fan of Europe, Final Countdown is a classic cheesy track that should be shown some respect.
I think the list is a little too obscure or songs that were so short lived during their time that nobody really remembers them. It should have been a list of the really big craptacular songs we are still forced to here from that era.

I like Emotional Rescue and although I can't place the tune I find it impossible to believe that Emmylou could ever deserve to be on a worst list.

I can't defend anything else but there's lots of awful crap in every decade and I'm not sure these are really THE worst.

I'll admit, Corey Hart was pretty easy on the eyes, but a cute boy doesn't necessarily equal good music.

I actually think I saw him on this tour... he played at Six Flags in Atlanta, and my girlfriend's dad, who worked for Owens-Corning, was having their big corporate picnic there, and my friend and I got to see him for free. Probably around 1985, I guess.

Quite a lot of their 'Top 80' could be interchanged with their bottom 80.

So much comedic gold here. I actually remember that Ewok song. Too funny.

Highlights:

76. White Lion – "Little Fighter" - 1989 #52
I could have chosen pretty much anything from these pussies. I'm sure it was more the record label that made White Lion the hair metal ballad leaders, so it seems like when they try to create a song with a little rock in it they forget all musicianship. The music is poor, the vocals are terrible and the lyrics are super cheesy. The worst of many bad White Lion songs.

57. REO Speedwagon – "In Your Letter" – 1981 #20
This is a rock group? This is a 60's pop song that should only be sung by teenage girls. REO Speedwagon were pussies.

48. Barry Manilow – "Let's Hang On" – 1982 #30
Barry Manilow was the original "Punk'd". The guy had 30 some hits and they all sucked. Barry Manilow had to be an experiment to see how long one shitty artist could have a career. Somewhere, someone is still collecting bets on this one.

47. Bobby McFerrin – "Don't Worry, Be Happy" – 1988 #1.
Fuck you Bobby McFerrin.

45. Corey Hart – "Dancin' With My Mirror" 1987 #88
I'm happy to finally get to Corey Hart. He's my least favorite hit maker of the 80's. Why? It wasn't the music, because if I went by that –some of his songs weren't bad at all. It's the lyrics. They are totally ridiculous. Why the fuck is he dancing with his mirror? I don’t get this at all. Is he so lame, no girls will dance with him? Or does he want himself so much that he loves looking at himself? Maybe both?

38. Rolling Stones – "Emotional Rescue" – 1980 #3
God I hate this track. Mick Jagger singing in the higher register he could get to and it was still a few registers above what sounded good.

36. Great White – "Save Your Love" – 1988 #57
I'm surprised their fans didn't burn down the venues in '88 just to get away from this turd in concert.

35. George Burns – "I Wish I Was Eighteen Again" – 1980 #49
What's worse than listening to 90 year old comedian try to sing? When the song isn't a comedic track. Yes, folks. This is a serious track. Oy.

32. Powersource – "Dear Mr. Jesus" – 1987 #61
Another one you have to hear to believe. A really really creepy song about child abuse sung by little kids.

27. Sa-Fire – "I Will Survive" – 1989 #53
It doesn't take long to hear why this is bad. The cheesy beat gives it away but the lyrics are the worst part. Is she munching on a cock while trying to sing? These vocals just aren't coming out right.

19. Starland Vocal Band – "Loving You With My Eyes" – 1980 #71
"Making love to you with my eyes is a beautiful, natural, impossible high." What? No, making love to you with my ginormous schlong is much better.

17. Europe – "The Final Countdown" – 1987 #8
How could this not be in here? I know it's clichéd – but that's why it's bad. It's the benchmark for 80's cheese.

13. Stryper – "Honestly" – 1987 #23
Do you remember back when this was released? Remember when Christ recorded a commercial that said simply "Those pussies in Stryper don't represent me. I don't want to have anything to do with these pansies." That was awesome. Rock on Christ.

9. All Sports Band – "I'm Your Superman" – 1981 #93
This is so gay. I wasn't expecting a ballad this poor from a group called the All Sports Band. Gay McGay would have been a better name for this band. "I'm your superman, a man of steel, I'll protect you from all eeeeevilllll."

5. Meco – "Ewok Celebration" – 1983 #60
The first half of this song is sung in Ewok. The second half is rapped in Ewok. [shaking head]

4. Get Wet – "Just So Lonely" – 1981 #39
These poor little kids must be damaged for life. I think the boy (yes, boy) singing this was like 12 or something. I mean, how bad must he have gotten picked on? He's singing a song that sounds like it's from 1965 and completely off-key. I mean wincingly off-key. This guy is in his late 30's right now and I guarantee you is a waiter at IHOP.

3. Corey Hart – "Boy In The Box" – 1985 #26
Hands down, this to me is the most retarded chorus of the 80's: "Pull up your socks, you're the box in the box. What did the Rebel say? When the wolf cried fox to the boy in the box, will you come out to play. One, Two you can't get enough. Three, four open up the door. Six, Five alive is the boy in the box." Six-Five? Six-Five? Is that the only way this could rhyme Corey? If so, start the fuck over.

um, no, that one WAS pretty bad. I remember hating it in 1986.

Bottom List Comments:

I actually really used to like that Bulletboys cover of The O'Jays hit.
The guy who made that list REALLY hates Steve Miller.

Top List Comments:

"C'est La Vie," "Break My Stride," "You Spin Me 'Round (Like a Record)," "Glory of Love," "Who's Johnny" all belong on the Bottom 80 list.
"Hourglass" probably should have at least made the Top 20, if not higher.
Nice to see "Sausalito Summernight" get some love.
Same with "Breakdown Dead Ahead."
Where is "Driver's Seat?" What about "Jenny/867-5309?" Or "Centerfold?"

np: KISS - "Shout it Out Loud"

LooGAR just vomited.

Thankyou Billz for saying it better than I could've.

"Oh, david."
"Oh, mick."

That guy put "Glory of Love" by Peter Cetera on his top 80 list so that pretty much invalidates everything else he says.

The best of the '80's list is horrendous.

How can that list be complete without the master of soft pop rock ?

Yeah, that best of is pretty craptastic.

These from his best of should replace any song I mentioned from the worst of list.

Tuff Enufff by The Fabulous Thunderbirds
Peter Cetera's The Glory of Love (My friend would castrate this man for adding this to the list)

but his views on the allocation of property transformed the 20th century!