Good morning all.

I'll apologize first to those folks who are reading this note, but to whom the message does not apply.

For the last 2 days, somebody has gone through the front office area, including possibly the restrooms, and burped so loud that the belch could be heard throughout the front office. This means that any customer who is in our facility has also heard this belch. Please, think about the environment you are in before "letting one loose"! This may be the first impression that a customer has of our organization. I know that's not the impression I would like to leave them with.

Thanks for your help.

time to switch to the whoopee cushion

its kind of funny to note...
that a person working in this area
of "the burper"
was having staff vote through email
to trade yucky 7-up for
the more popular Sprite
(just last week)

Wow, it's a lot more exciting in your office vs mine. 7-Up vs Sprite voting...woohoo!

That's a damn powder keg waiting to go off. Fuck the cola wars, the shit is CLEAR.

my vote for sierra mist wasnt counted
because i only visit that pop machine once a week
god damnit i was furious

over on my end we got rid of that root beer shit
to get 2 mt. dew slots

anyone in a "Coke Black" test market?
some dipshit combined coke and coffee

of course i tried it
of course its fucking gross

I'm a sucker. I cannot wait to try Coke Blak. I'm really looking forward to the unnatural infusion of cola with coffee.

Squirt>>>>>>>>7-Up/Sprite/Mist/etc

Do not talk poorly about root beer.

Keep on drinking that diabetic horse piss.

I have no idea what it's supposed to taste like (cherry? strawberry? red?), but it's awesome.

"i was really into slamming a can of coke
then gulping a cup of coffee

but i really wasn't getting er done ya know?
...
this shit was a dream come true"

i couldn't resist either
...
i gotta try them all

this is as gross as bad as pepsi blue
aka smurf piss

I love when higher-ups at companies do stuff like this.

Vendor: "Mt. Dew or Crab Juice?"

Homer: "Y-Y-Yick!!! I'll take the crab juice"

Seriously, why would a CFO address this issue? I think this is a definite sign cats should leave the cockring industry.

As long as Coke Blak is not as bad as Hanson's Cream Soda or Crystal Pepsi, I still want to try it.

Mmmm. Crystal Gravy.

You'd think by now they would realize how much all of their employees mock them for this kind of thing. Even with shows like the Office and movies like Office Space, bosses just don't get it which makes it even funnier for the rest of us.

i know!

when i got this job i was like
finally
a place where i can be myself

now i got this joker tellin me
i don't give a shit about cockrings
just cause i had a little gas two days in a row

we always get emails about whatever someone stole off the front desk
staplers, pens, umbrellas, keys

like it doesn't make me want to go there
just to steal something
and read about it later

after getting this email this morning
my plan of action is to try to switch
a homer belch for everyones windows alert message
...
people leave their desks for hours at a time here

that way everytime i send an email
(to an employee with their sound up)
we all hear the burping

awesome. haha...

The CFO of my company is pretty great. Actually, so is our president. Totally down to earth and funny as hell. This is the first place that I've worked where I didn't feel like I was in an outtake of Office Space.

Coke Blak will be the new Pepsi AM.

i ran into this CFO at a townie bar one night
...
he acted like we were best friends
bought me drinks and hit on my roomate
(she's about 20 years younger than him)

i watched him stagger out with a different lady
that was not his wife

im not supposed to tell anyone

what the heck is pepsi AM?
did i miss this one?

I enjoyed Crystal Pepsi.
AND the New Coke (Which was just Pepsi).