What it does say: Charming, cozy cottage, in the heart of <insert desirable locale here>. New carpet throughout. Great for close families and outdoor lovers. Bonus room doubles as playroom or 3rd bedroom. A steal at <this price>, wont last long!!

What it should say: Small as fuck. You'll be bumping into people you dont even know here just because your house is so goddamn small. And did we mention how ugly it is? Holy fuck...purple carpet? And dont forget the 1 million cats still living in the house, with their cat poles and cat shelves and cat shit everywhere. You better love the outdoors, cause there aint room to do shit here. And all this for only 200K? Well, better sign the fuck up right now!! Did we mention the schools suck?


Im just sayin...

Are you shopping for a new home?

I was. Moving to Nashville, and the sticker shock is pretty impressive. We bought a home for 2x what our home is here in Tulsa...it was on the market for less than 24 hours and it already had three offers on it. Im not sure how ours got it, but we ended up paying 3K over list price.

But we love the house. However our house hunting prior to finding this one can be accurately described by the initial post.

I love the phrase "curb appeal"--it's such grandiose bullshit.

I once saw a house ad that mentioned a "grassy play area."

Yeah, also known as 'the yard'?

if she comes with it,
i've got 200k.

well plus the 1.1 that i'm not investing.

Where did you guys get a place? Why are you moving to Nashville?

Don't forget that "In the heart of <>" really means "on the edge of the ghetto/newly gentrifying area"

Brentwood. Starting residency at Vandy in July.

Cool. Well yeah, non shit it's going to be mad expensive if you want to live in fucking Brentwood with all the rich white people. You should get a house in my neighborhood and come live in the lovely ghettoish surroundings of Edgehill. How long does this residency thing last? I'll be back down there in the beginning of 2007 or something. We should put together a discostu, me, you, whoever else Sitar lunch time or something.

Im down...if I didnt have two young children Id be all up in the ghetto. But, since we gots to worry about schools and safety and shit...well, theres Brentwood for you.

Where's the surprise?

Well, not every word is misleading, but in my mind, "cozy" and "great for close families" shouldnt mean <1200 square feet.

Yeah, <1200 is tight--what's it a Georgian pill-box kind of thing? Still, house-shopping is awesome. Enjoy it, and steal all the cool ideas you see.

You can't get a Condo for $200K here.

The last line is the only one that applies to my old apartments. It says alot when moving from one place that was in an area where the police were conducting a prostitution sting and a guy got capped across the street to an apartment complex where the people who lived next door would rumble out front on occassion is a slight improvement.