Or at least odd phrases that you use that you've never really heard any one else use:

Things I say frequently:

"I dig that with a big shovel"
"...sucks a bag full of dicks"

"Greetings, salutations, condominiums." (my standard greeting... for real.)

What about y'all?
Anything that is a part of your daily vernacular that is not a part of the common vernacular?

I think "get off my dick" covers just about all situations

/end thread

"Sucks iguana testicles" is having a difficult time getting popularized. Dunno why.

"that's bass" or "she has the bass"

when referring to a fine womenly round ass.

Funny.
Speaking of covering all situations, I find that anything or any situation can be referred to as a:
"Bad boy."

And I do.

my friends and I - when we hear about something we are interested in we say "I'm a little bi-curious about that."

example: have you ever been sky-diving? no, but I'm a little bi-curious about that.

Pronouced bass or bass?

bass of course.

HO-HO. Condominiums? Bad boy? Some real knee slappers there.

"Well, that sounds like tons of No Fun"

I would love to bring back the "...Not" someday...NOT

In a rather small circle of friends the phrase...

"I shaved my balls for this?", said with disgust has started to catch hold a bit as a means of expressing disgust and disappointment.

And, "I'd ball gag it." is becomming popular to express sexual interest.

I never said my "jokes" were good.
The whole point of telling bad jokes is selfish:
I tell the joke, it inflicts psychological distress upon you, I see your pained reaction, that is funny to me.

And, in truth, these phrases are not really meant to be funny, it's just the (admitted) horseshit that comes flying out of my mouth.

I hope you get carjacked today.

Let's try to popularize that one.

Terrible. I can even hear the awful voice you probably say that in.

And there's no need to even tell you what "phrases I'm trying to popularize." You'll all be using them in casual conversation soon enough.

obner....

nobody gets it.

I agree. Yet I cannot stop myself.

Exactly. I have appropriated my 2 favorite Bloorisms recently:
Drive your car into oncoming traffic

and

The *hands clapping*

This one cracks me up. Unbuckle your seatbelt...

Wow. I'm going to use this one if a customer decides to buy a can of stain instead of the $700 armoire.

Thanks!

I actually told Bloor on a particularly taxing trek home from the N. GA mountains that if he went to sleep, I was going to unbuckle his seatbelt and crash his truck into a tree.

Its pretty good for all purpose usage.

Sorry. Can't give credit on the second one.

This might be the best quote for disappointment ever!

I've taken it to mean a different thing from the older usage.

You mean as in "clap, clap"

I mean, as in "the retardation"

Yeah, our original usage is still the unabashed classic in my mind, Busty.

I beleive it received the much coveted "mark on the wall" at Pluma.

i saw a t-shirt with this statement