Constipated again...

Dunwoody Dude · **Joined:** Wed Nov 03, 2004 11:20 am **Posts:** 2869

Yeah, it's like concrete down there. Just sitting here sipping some magnesium citrate..... waiting for things to loosen up.

:yawn:

Rick Derris · **Posted:** Thu Dec 30, 2004 11:30 am

Try this..........

Sketch · **Posted:** Thu Dec 30, 2004 11:57 am

Psyllium Husks
Bentonite Clay

OR

Two teaspoons of uniodized sea salt w/ a quart of warm water. Drink. Wait an hour.

Aural Fixation · **Posted:** Thu Dec 30, 2004 12:00 pm

Christ...

MontyTheMongoose · **Posted:** Thu Dec 30, 2004 1:58 pm

Don't fret over constipation 'til you've been impacted of stool, as I was. Back in third grade -- 1988-89 school year -- given a reluctance to use public toilets, principally the lavatory at the parochial school I attended, and distress triggered by the mess my father made of the household, I did not have a bowel movement for some weeks (three?). As a result, my colorectal system slackened and could not constrict itself to push out the stool even for use of mineral oil, Metamucil (tm), et. al.

So, my mother, a registered nurse herself, was forced to have me sprawled on the parlour sofa, disrobed, while she dug me out. Oh, the toil to which a parent must commit her/himself!

robotboy · **Posted:** Thu Dec 30, 2004 2:01 pm

Rick Derris Wrote:

Try this..........

beat me to it

Manimal · **Joined:** Wed Dec 01, 2004 11:30 pm **Posts:** 44

Monty Wrote:

Don't fret over constipation 'til you've been impacted of stool, as I was. Back in third grade -- 1988-89 school year -- a reluctance to use public toilets, principally the lavatory at the parochial school I attended, and distress triggered by the mess my father made of the household, I did not have a bowel movement for some weeks (three?). As a result, my colorectal system slackened and could not constrict itself to push out the stool even for use of mineral oil, Metamucil (tm), et. al.

So, my mother, a registered nurse herself, was forced to have me sprawled on the parlour sofa, disrobed, while she dug me out. Oh, the toil to which a parent must commit her/himself!

Too much info.

robotboy · **Posted:** Thu Dec 30, 2004 2:05 pm

Monty Wrote:

Don't fret over constipation 'til you've been impacted of stool, as I was. Back in third grade -- 1988-89 school year -- a reluctance to use public toilets, principally the lavatory at the parochial school I attended, and distress triggered by the mess my father made of the household, I did not have a bowel movement for some weeks (three?). As a result, my colorectal system slackened and could not constrict itself to push out the stool even for use of mineral oil, Metamucil (tm), et. al.

So, my mother, a registered nurse herself, was forced to have me sprawled on the parlour sofa, disrobed, while she dug me out. Oh, the toil to which a parent must commit her/himself!

jesus christ

katie, a princess · **Posted:** Thu Dec 30, 2004 2:08 pm

robotboy Wrote:

Monty Wrote:

Don't fret over constipation 'til you've been impacted of stool, as I was. Back in third grade -- 1988-89 school year -- a reluctance to use public toilets, principally the lavatory at the parochial school I attended, and distress triggered by the mess my father made of the household, I did not have a bowel movement for some weeks (three?). As a result, my colorectal system slackened and could not constrict itself to push out the stool even for use of mineral oil, Metamucil (tm), et. al.

So, my mother, a registered nurse herself, was forced to have me sprawled on the parlour sofa, disrobed, while she dug me out. Oh, the toil to which a parent must commit her/himself!

jesus christ

then again, this is coming from monty.

robotboy · **Posted:** Thu Dec 30, 2004 2:09 pm

discostu · **Posted:** Thu Dec 30, 2004 2:47 pm

Ruben tells me that Cocaine cut with baby laxative will always do the trick.

MontyTheMongoose · **Posted:** Thu Dec 30, 2004 3:32 pm

robotboy Wrote:

Classic!

As it is, "Dig Me Out" by Sleater-Kinney reminds me of stool... Not because it's a shitty song, but because I remember, brutally, having to be dug out.

Sketch · **Posted:** Thu Dec 30, 2004 3:37 pm

Where's wholewheat when you need him?

shiv · **Posted:** Thu Dec 30, 2004 8:35 pm

Sketch Wrote:

Two teaspoons of uniodized sea salt w/ a quart of warm water. Drink. Wait an hour.

I've done that before and surprisingly the worst part of it is drinking the salt water.

ayah · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 12:03 pm **Posts:** 6402

Aural Fixation Wrote:

Christ...

onacross. this sounds like regular dinner conversation we have with my ex father-in-law who is a famous gastroenterologist.

Sketch · **Posted:** Fri Dec 31, 2004 8:33 am

shiv Wrote:

I've done that before and surprisingly the worst part of it is drinking the salt water.

Yup. How did it work for you, Jon?

shiv · **Posted:** Fri Dec 31, 2004 7:56 pm

Sketch Wrote:

shiv Wrote:

I've done that before and surprisingly the worst part of it is drinking the salt water.

Yup. How did it work for you, Jon?

Well I tried to do it along with the Master Cleanser fast but the fast part of it didn't go so well...I quit after like 2 days. Drinking the salt water worked pretty well though.

Twilightkid · **Posted:** Fri Dec 31, 2004 8:33 pm

Monty Wrote:

Don't fret over constipation 'til you've been impacted of stool, as I was. Back in third grade -- 1988-89 school year -- given a reluctance to use public toilets, principally the lavatory at the parochial school I attended, and distress triggered by the mess my father made of the household, I did not have a bowel movement for some weeks (three?). As a result, my colorectal system slackened and could not constrict itself to push out the stool even for use of mineral oil, Metamucil (tm), et. al.

So, my mother, a registered nurse herself, was forced to have me sprawled on the parlour sofa, disrobed, while she dug me out. Oh, the toil to which a parent must commit her/himself!

:O

robotboy · **Posted:** Fri Dec 31, 2004 10:28 pm

usually, I just do the ol greasy eggs breakfast+coffee+cigarettes

tehobner · **Joined:** Mon Oct 25, 2004 8:48 pm **Posts:** 4479

shiv Wrote:

Sketch Wrote:

Two teaspoons of uniodized sea salt w/ a quart of warm water. Drink. Wait an hour.

I've done that before and surprisingly the worst part of it is drinking the salt water.

I gargle salt water now that I have new teeth. Go I , stnbitches.

MontyTheMongoose · **Posted:** Sat Jan 01, 2005 6:03 am

[beavis]This one time, I drank a whole bottle of that Taokekpate, and didn't poop for a week. Then, I pooped a brick, and I saved it. It's in my underwear drawer. Go ahead, check it out, Butt-head.[/beavis]

Constipated again...

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