Chill out guys.

Just condense all your thoughts into like one super thread.

how about ummm...NO

You need the Evelyn Woodhead Speed Reading Course.

You need to learn that half of the threads here are crap anyway

Yet I keep coming back for more

I wouldn't use the word "crap", but by title alone you should be able to eliminate most of the threads you would generally have no interest in. The rest of them you should be able to read the first post in little time and decide if you want to reply to it. Everyone else's posts you can either skim quickly so you don't post the exact same thing or just ignore it. Most people post things they want to say, even if they don't necessarily fit with the thread.

I'm not going to say reading a message board is entirely simple, but basic skim reading used in college should get you through it.

I used to be a scanner for a media clipping service, so I pretty much see entire pages at once.

Don't remember any of it for more than microseconds, but it comes in handy.

None of which are interesting in the slightest bit.

Shit, even I, a moderator, don't read all the threads.

Get cracking!

I read about five per page.

splates moderator self-promotion in 3...2...1...

He's too busy sending viruses to moderators.